The Golden Girls

I can't even remember when I first became a fan of the Golden Girls.  I know I was still in the throes of a bad marriage, and I began watching them as a means of escape.  I used to imagine myself free of the abuse and living a happy life with my friends.  I adored everything about them.  Their clothing.  Their personalities.  Everything except the cheesecake, and from what I have read, not all of them were fans of cheesecake either. But I loved the way they ate.  They sure enjoyed their food. 

Yup, this show brought me through hard times, and it is still a comfort thing for me, and I still use them as a means of escape.  Every morning after I hear the weather on the news, I flip the channel for some laughter with my favorite girls.  They take me away from the virus, from the violence, from the hatred and bigotry for a short while. And you know it is an amazing show when it is on so much, and people who weren't even born when they first aired love them.  Here they are on 7-10 am on Hallmark, from 11 am to 1 pm on CMTHD, and all day Sunday on Lifetime....and I watch them all.

So when I saw this, I couldn't resist.  Each of the four little books is a biography, not of the actress herself, but of the character in the show. So much fun.

I included some of my favorite quotes by each.

Boy, I remember when I was a little girl, when we’d get depressed. Grandma could always cheer us up. She’d take out her dentures and she’d take a healthy swig from the aquarium, and then she’d put a flashlight under a chin, and we could watch the goldfish swim from cheek to cheek. We could have watched it all day… but visiting hours were only from ten to four.

I can’t believe my mother is out riding around on a smelly old bus. Being pushed around, harassed, possibly even mugged by hostile teenagers with bad haircuts!

I’m not one to blow my own vertubenflugen.

Dorothy, where I come from you learn never to turn your back on family! NEVER! When your crazy cousin Nunzio started living with his pet goat, did the family turn their back on him? No. And after a couple of nights neither did the goat.

People waste their time pondering whether a glass is half empty or half full. Me, I just drink whatever’s in the glass.

I hate Jell-O. If God wanted peaches suspended in midair, he would have filled them with helium.

Forgive me, Rose, but I haven’t had sex in 15 years and it’s starting to get on my nerves.

Nobody ever believes me when I’m telling the truth. I guess it’s the curse of being a devastatingly beautiful woman.

My first was Billy. Oh, I’ll never forget it! That night under the dogwood tree, the air thick with perfume, and me with Billy. Or Bobby? Yes, that’s right, Bobby! Or was it Ben? Oh who knows, anyway, it started with a B.

Grandma Hollingsworth always said I was a little flighty…or was it a little floozy?

No one in my family has ever seen a psychiatrist…except of course, when they were institutionalized.

 Oh, I remember when Stanley told me he was having an affair. It was at least 24 hours before I cut the crotches out of all his slacks.

 Condoms, Rose. Condoms, condoms, condoms!

 Oh, it was a terrible time for me. You know, I'd gone on an eating binge when Stan left and I put on quite a bit of weight. Plus, I was not a 20-year-old. You know, when you're 20, no matter what you do, everything stays where it's supposed to. Now, when you lean over, it looks like somebody's let the air out of your face.

We have Maalox and estrogen. How many junkies have gas and hot flashes?