Tuesday, July 20, 2010
Good morning....Tuesday...Another hot day...Maybe not AS hot and humid, but still pretty miserable to me. Today will make a week that my office mate hasn't spoken to me. I'm not hurting anymore; actually I am finding it quite funny. It amazes me the way some people think. You get caught doing something you are not supposed to be doing, and you take it out on your office mate. And then, you continue to come in late like you just don't care. I don't get it.
Yesterday an acquaintance was asking me for information on how to get your degree online, and I was explaining to her how it worked. Of course, as with any other degree, you have your core subjects to complete, but after that, the courses and where you take them is all up to you. That leaves a lot of room to take some real fun courses. A course I had the most fun with and could barely put down was about fairy tales...but not your typical 'read the fairy tale' course. This was a course on deciphering the hidden symbols and archetypes of the characters. That was really right up my alley because of my love of fantasy and my love of Jung and his archetypes.
are not individual, but are the part we share with all humanity. They are an inherited part of being human; they connect us with our past. Archetypes are universal; we find the same archetypes in many different cultures. They are ancient themes which have been represented throughout the ages in our myths, fables and fairy tales, and sometimes we may become trapped.
"I am too wounded to have any power in my life." I am too wounded to ever find happiness."
The Victim Archetype leads us into situations where we feel bullied or put down...used and taken advantage of. I chose to write of the Victim today because at one point in my life...no, in all honesty, for much of my life, I was trapped within that archetype. What is going on with my office mate would have made me cower...and offer apologies for something I didn't do. My office mate is the Bully Archetype, the one who needs to show power over others. This is never more evident than in our staff meetings where she contradicts what others say and knows it all. She is always right. The bully is needed for the victim to survive...and the victim needs a bully to survive. It's evident that this little game can go on for years.
Then one day the victim decides they have had enough of feeling helpless, and they learn to speak out and make sure their needs are met. They find that glass slipper (their power) and turn victim into victory. Usually, the bully will move on to find another victim; it is just as hard to give up your power as it is to find it. And so, I no longer ask "How high?" when the bully tells me to "jump". And you know what? It feels good. Finding my power wasn't easy; it took me many years, but the journey was, oh, so worth it.
If you are a victim, reach out. Validate your pain for validating your pain will help you to discover your strengths and to learn valuable lessons. Remember...once you are no longer a victim, the bully loses its power. And remember, the bully lives through you. Take that away and the bully no longer seems so frightening.