Monday This and That

A person who hides the truth
that he or she is sick
cannot expect to be cured.

Ethiopian Proverb

That proverb sure did jump out at me.  That was  definitely me not too long ago.  My motto was, 'Ignore it and it will go away.'  Well, guess what?  It doesn't go away. Like anger, it festers within until it eventually erupts. Tomorrow is my Pet Scan, and I am scared out of my wits.  That negative thinking part of me keeps saying the doctor was only trying to make me feel better, but the logical part tells me that doctors don't do things like that. Then I think about how he said the word 'usually' and then I start to worry that I may not fit into that 'usually' group. And, then, because a Pet Scan is a whole body picture, I wonder what else they might find. My hypochondria is kicking up big time. I really have to stay off these medical websites.  It is good to educate oneself, but it becomes a detriment when one allows their imagination to run wild.

But, that is enough about me. At this point, I am growing quite concerned about hubby. He has been keeping it quiet, but I noticed yesterday that his breathing is becoming more labored. I know this weather has a negative affect on those of us with breathing problems, and I hope when the weather cools down some, he improves. On Saturday, he went out to get his car to park it closer to home, and before coming home, stopped  at the fruit stand to get us a Canary Melon. When he came home, he  dropped to the sofa, visibly struggling to catch to catch his breath. I started for the phone to call 911, but by the time I picked up the phone he was breathing naturally.  It put quite a fright into me. He was diagnosed with emphysema a few years back and until now, aside from one episode in which he was hospitalized, he has been doing well. He sees his doctor next week so I ordered him to inform his doctor about what's going on...and promised I would be sure to check up and make sure he did.  We have to take care of each other.

I'm hoping it is his excessive salt intake that is doing it.  Hubby loves salt.  I never thought of myself as much as a salt user, but since being diagnosed with HTN, I've begun doing some research.  That fact is, I'd never paid attention to the sodium in food.  For example, we both love Premio's hot sausage.  Both of us can sit and eat three of them.  Do you realize that just one has 920 milligrams of salt?  Well, I'd been noticing that my breathing just keeps getting better (knock on wood). Instead of stopping halfway up the steps to catch my breath, I'm able to climb right up to the top. Then, aside from the pain in my lower back which seems to be flaring up. I've also been able to pick up my step with walking. It hit me that this started when I cut my sodium intake.  Hopefully, this is a sign of things to come...and hopefully, I can get hubby to listen.  

Healing is the journey. The destination is yourself. The full recognition of all

the different aspects of yourself—your joy, your sorrow, your pain,

your pleasure—all lead you to the source of who you are. Only by

having intimate contact with this source can you experience the fullness

of your life. Only by fearlessly looking within can you embrace the landscape of your life and open yourself completely to all the love

and compassion that lives inside you.

Philip Berk

On another note, Saturday, the first day of my low-sodium cooking spree, was brutally hot so I got out of the house bright and early before the worst of it. And, with many Con Ed workers on strike, I crossed my fingers and said a prayer.  Just imagine being in the midst of all that cooking and having the AC go off. Sadly though, cooking, for as much as I had looked forward to it, was dreadful.  It was so, so hot that new recipes I had found were brushed to the wayside.  Just to hot to take the time, but I did put together some of my own low sodium or sodium free meals, and so far, what I have eaten have turned out pretty darned good.

On Saturday I had two cubed steaks which had been browned and then simmered with green and red peppers, onions, lots of garlic, Worchestershire sauce, bay leaf, rosemary, and some red wine vinegar. This was served with baked sweet potato and a tossed salad with Balsamic vinegar.  Sunday was apricot baked chicken breasts.  This one I followed pretty close to recipe...apricot preserves, brown sugar and vinegar.  This was served with new potatoes and tossed salad. I didn't even miss the salt.  Today is going to be a rough one.  I cannot have any carbohydrates, no fruit, milk, grains, etc. because of my test tomorrow.  No way around this one.  Just have to go with the flow, keep a stiff upper lip, and remind myself of my blessings. The fear cannot be allowed to win.

Fear is like a little garden spider that makes us jump back or the poor lost bee on the

steering wheel that we blame for our automobile wreck. The problem in fear

is our response -- the way we treat animals or insects that frighten us. . . . Fear is also

the universal scapegoat we blame when we take flight from intimacy or shrink up

inside ourselves in a thousand little ways.

Dan Millman