Sunday afternoon...Beltane has come and gone. Time is moving on so quickly. I'm feeling kind of letdown today....can't put my finger on it. I'm kind of disappointed that my Beltane was not as joyous for me as I planned. I was just too darned tired. Yesterday I did my food shopping, cooked, cleaned and did all my other chores so I could have my Sunday free. It was quite warm yesterday, so the people on both sides of me stayed out quite late. I quietly slipped out in the backyard for awhile, but their lights were so bright that no matter where in my yard I went, I was going to be seen. Granted, I realize I cannot have a Beltane fire..or a Maypole in my backyard, but I had wanted to do a little ritual. And, by the time they went indoors, I was just too darned tired to do much of anything,
So, I planned on going out to the beach today, but they've been threatening storms throughout the day...so that's out of the question. Today has just been one of those blah days...We all have them. Our interest in our surroundings subsides, and our thoughts are all over the place. I'm missing my weekends working out in my garden...the ripeness of the fruits and vegetables...the beauty of my flowers.
I open the door to the backyard and gaze upon the earth, and the ground appears so naked...not full of life...and to me, it is such a waste of the Earth, but the man upstairs and my landlady are co-owners of this house, and although she says I can do as I please with the backyard, he does nothing but complain...and since she is in Florida...and he is here, I tend to avoid trouble. Besides, the ground here is not as fertile as the ground of my magical garden. I did plant the first year with the ground as it is, the kids throwing balls on the plants, then climbing over the fence to retrieve them...not looking where they are stepping...and the old man upstairs pulling my cukes off the fence and basically killing the plant, I gave up.
So, as I sit here rambling this Sunday afternoon, I continue to hope, and look forward to one day moving back to a small country town...having my own little cottage with just a little bit of land...I can work miracles with that. Until then, I have my dreams. I'll be okay. It's just 'one of those days'.
Hoping you all are having a wonderful weekend.