Good afternoon. What a gorgeous day!!! Did my food shopping early this morning...and really took my time on the walk to the store. Couldn't take my time going home because it's a race to beat my delivery man...I don't want to complain, though. It's nice to have my groceries beat me home. Too bad I have to spend the rest of the day cooking. Oh, well. I will have the next two weeks free so the benefits average out.
I was feeling a bit melancholy this morning. Stems from yesterdays post. Not that I want to be young again; I am truly happy where I am, but I miss my family. No matter what, they were my mom and dad, and I miss them. And my grandparents, those special people who gave me such joy as a child. I haven't been talking to them much lately, and maybe this sadness is telling me that an ancestor ritual is in order.
"The universe is made or stories, not of atoms."--Muriel Rukeyser
Speaking of ancestors, I had a very interesting group yesterday and was pleasantly surprised at my clients' participation. Friday's is usually a blah day as far as the clients go. They'll usually make one group and head out...unlike Wednesday when I have to refuse people due to the 15 member limit. So, on Friday's I usually bring in a little quote, something to initiate conversation. Yesterday's quote was:
"I am special, and my life, my story, is a necessary part of the universe. That I am here by design means I am watched over."
I specifically chose the above quote because many of my clients have been so beaten down, that they have to be reminded that they are special and that we should never forget our value to the planet; that it is our stories which give the universe depth, vibrancy, and meaning. And many of my clients were able to touch upon how their lives or the lives of others around them, have touched upon others. For example, an ex-heroin addict who spent most of his adult life in prison was able to look within and realize that there was some good that he had done in his life, that if he hadn't been born, his four children and all of his grandchildren would never have been gifted with life.
And I sat there listening to them...one by one...I began thinking about the universe and how one person's life, one person's story can touch generations to come. I thought of my second great grandfather, Richard, and how mournful I had been when I first discovered that he died at age 21, leaving behind a young wife and 3 month old baby...my great grandmother. But it was his death that brought ME to life; his wife remarried and with her new husband and my great grandma, left Norfolk, England for good, the only member of her family to do so, and traveled to America. Had Richard not died when he did, my great grandmother most likely would never have been in that one place of the universe where she would meet my great grandfather.
Like my clients, I didn't grow up feeling valued by my family; I just existed and did what I had to do with little understanding of how I fit into the big picture of the universe. I had no understanding of how we fit into the big picture. But, I've learned that my story, our stories...our presence....have always been necessary to the life of the universe...for if my parents had not been who they were...I might never have been compelled to leave home when I did...and my two sons would not be here today. I would never have touched the lives of all of those that I do. Yes, I am special...just like everyone of you out there in the universe. We all have a story...and our story is what gives the universe life. So, take some time this weekend to think about your story...and the many lives that you have touched and will continue to touch for generations to come.
Hoping all of you who celebrate the holiday have a special one.