Sunday, April 11, 2010
"Be able to be alone. Lose not the advantage of solitude,"--Sir Thomas Browne
Hubby is visiting a family member, and my son just left for work, so here I am....by myself and loving it. There is no quiet like the quiet of being alone with oneself at home. Several years ago, I never thought I would hear myself talk about how much I value my solitude, but today, I find it absolutely essential to be in my home with no one around sometimes. I love my family, but there are just those times when I vitally need to be in and with my home alone.
Throughout most of my life I was one of those people who had to be doing, who had to be with. I just never knew what to do when left by myself so I would tag along to places I really didn't want to be...just for companionship. That's because I didn't know how to be with 'me'. I didn't like being with me because that meant too much time to think. I was in such a bad space back then. I was so needy and so co-dependent that I actually almost drove hubby away. I was just too clingy. Thank goodness I have grown since then or I would have been ALONE.
So today, whenever the last person walks out and closes the door, I, and it seems as if my home, both breathe a simultaneous sigh. There's just something about being by oneself, especially on a Sunday afternoon...the day before the workweek begins... that allows one to move slowly through the house, naked if I so choose, as I prepare to gather those parts of myself, my psyche, that have become distributed elsewhere during the previous week while I was out there doing my life. Being home alone allows me to pull that lost part of myself back into myself while I snuggle down in a known and loved environment to regroup and prepare to participate in the active aspects of our lives.
To me, the supreme luxury is having a whole day at home with myself. But, I'll take what downtime I can get for even one hour a lone with a good book can do to return us to balance. How do you handle your alone time?