Sunday, February 7, 2010
On a Lazy Sunday Afternoon
Good afternoon. It's a cold one out there today, but I don't have to go out. I am just staying in and stuffing my face. Tomorrow morning I will finally have that wisdom tooth removed...and none to soon. I always found ways to talk the dentist out of it before, but that's because it wasn't hurting, but now I feel that telltale soreness developing so it's best to get it out before it becomes that non-ending throbbing pain. My only fear is, what if that precision peice doesn't fit. Without this tooth, the partial I have now won't work. I can't afford to take too much time off work.
I'd also like to thank everyone for their comments yesterday. Lyon, you brought up a good point...that I have been doing this for years so I must have a have found a way of coping. You're right. I did have...up until 7 1/2 months ago....smoking. Not that smoking was my coping mechanism, it was leaving the office and going outdoors every so often for that walk around the block, getting away from it all. Those little breaks were my way of re-charging during the day. And it is not cigarette cravings that are making me feel this way. I'm long past that. I belong to a smoking cessation group which teaches you how to retrain your mind to becoming a non-smoker and not an ex-smoker. The difference between the two is that non-smokers no longer get the urge; they learn to handle life on life's terms without even thinking of having a cigarette. in fact, I cannot even believe that I ever smoked. On the other hand, an ex-smoker is that person who quits, but that urge is always there...be it for one month or one year. No matter how long they stay quit, they are always in danger of relapse because they are 'still' always thinking of that cigarette.
Last night I had was conversing with a member of the empath support group, and as we were discussing things, it hit me that my emotional stability has gone out of control since I stopped taking those little breaks, since I began remaining held up in my office all day. Ironically, the truth is, I have actually taken more time off work to regroup than I ever did when I smoked. So I guess instead of saying I have no need to go out anymore, I'd better start taking those much need regrouping breaks.
Mon, I thank you for sharing, and it was wonderful to hear from an empath. I am still trying to find my way and love reading your input. I always knew there was something, but could never put my finger on it. Hubby used to get a kick out of the fact that every time I would try to sit on my front porch, I would have a steady parade of neighors sharing what was going on in ther lives. It got so bad that I had to stop sitting out there. My nerves were becoming very frazzled, and I would end up taking things out on my family.
Steve, you are right. It is not selfish to take care of me. For too long, I've taken care of everyone else. I often wonder nowadays if I didn't choose the wrong career, but then there is that other part of me that couldn't see me doing anything else with my life. You are right, Debra. Jung has always been one of my favorites..could not stand reading Freud...and what he says is basically the same thing. Aunt Amelia, it sounds like you are pretty sensitive.
Before posting I wondered what effect this topic would have, and I see that many of you are interested, so I will post more as I learn more. And as for me, since I can't quit my job and start a new career for myself, I have to learn how to accept that these feelings aren't my own. I've got to develop positive ways to handle all this extra energy so that all of these very needly clients and angry, competitive, gossipy co-workers stop sending me into such a tailspin.