Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Growing Older

Greetings from Brooklyn, New York.  The weather doesn't know what it wants to do today...one minute it's sunny, the next clouded over.  Had quite a scare a little while ago.  Couldn't get my computer to open.  Actually, it was MSN, my home page.  Once I finally got in,..after about an hour of trying... I put Firefox on as the new homepage.  We have it at work, and it is pretty speedy.  I have to say, I was already going through withdrawals.  How did I ever survive this long without a computer?

Well, my friends, today is my birthday.  I'm 63. My sons both gave me wonderful gifts--Barnes @ Noble cards.  They know how much I love my books.  Already spent a hundred.   It seems like only yesterday I was dreading the big five-O.  I've grown so much since then.  I've come to terms with aging and feel at peace with myself.  After I turned 45, I discovered that when I looked in the mirror, my mother's face was looking back at me.  Much of my youth had been wasted (or so I thought at the time), and I wasn't ready to let go...so began the process of fighting off the effects of time...jars of face creams, makeup, lying about my age. 

"Youth is a gift of nature, but age is a work of art."--Garson Kanin


We are inundated with negative messages from the media, from other people, from writings.  While there are many societies that embrace aging, sadly, ours is not one of them.  Ours is a society obsessed with youth.  But, while we dwell on our double or triple chins, the deepset wrinkles about our eyes, our sagging skin, the extra poundage...we tend to ignore the fact that 'youth' is an attitude, a state of mind.  What we think about aging determines how we feel about it.  Embracing our age rather than deny it give us the courage to move through any fears we may have about aging.  Who remembers when the 'over the hill greeting card' line began to poke  fun of people who hit 50?   Today, 60 is the new forty...and who knows...in the future it might be 70 or 80. 

"I like Spring, but it is too young.  I like summer, but it is too proud.  So I like best of all Autumn, because its tone is mellower, its colors are richer, and it is tinged with a little sorrow.  Its golden richness speaks not of the innocence of Spring, nor the power of Summer, but the mellowness and kindly wisdom of approaching age.  It knows the limitations of life and is content."--Lin Yu Tang

My turn-around came when I learned how to focus more on what I had gained than what I had lost.  I learned to appreciate both the lessons I had learned and the wounds that I have healed.  I began to welcome the fact that people sought my wisdom for that meant that I had had a life well lived.  Oh, there are still times when a pretty young woman gets on the train and I whisper, "What if?" while I feel that wee twinge of envy, but the difference now is that I can let it go and appreciate my life where it is.

Let's face it....Aging is relative.  There will always be someone who is older or younger than us. Energy flows where the attention goes...and we are in charge of what we pay attention to.  If we choose to focus on the negatives about aging, our energy will flow in that direction, but, when we courageously choose to concentrate on the positves, our energy will be expanded.  We can all choose where we focus our attention, and that will determine how we feel as our birthdays roll by.   

18 comments:

  1. Happy Birthday! May all your wishes come true!!

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  2. Happy Birthday, dear Mary! Many more! And you are absolutely right: "What we think about aging determines how we feel about it." If we fear and hate aging, we must ask ourselves -- who instills that fear and hatred in us, and for what purpose? Is it in our best interests? Oh no, it is not! One of the most radical act that we, as women, can commit is to embrace and love our aging selves.

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  3. Happy Birthday ♥ I'm a March Girl myself :)(12th)

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  4. Happy Birthday dearest Mary!! May the most wonderful of life's blessings be yours!
    xoxo
    Sandra

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  5. Happy Birthday, Mary! I love this post! Allowing our bodies to age gracefully is the key, I think -- and our society just doesn't let that happen. We are conditioned to fight it, kicking and screaming all the way. Embracing the changes in my body while maintaining a young heart is important to happy aging!

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  6. First off, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

    Secondly, what a beautiful post, from start to finish. Especially, "Energy flows where the attention goes...and we are in charge of what we pay attention to." That can apply to aging and so many things in life. I am so inspired by your post today. Thank you.

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  7. Happy Birthday Mary! May your day be filled with sunshine, happiness and love. Wishing you all the best.

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  8. Happy Birthday Mary!! Hope your day is filled with sunshine, happiness, and love. Wishing you all the best!

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  9. Happy Birthday to you :) May your special day be filled with all you desire xxx Thank you for the post, as always they are very thought provoking but very warming and comforting.

    Blessed be

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  10. Happy Birthday! I hope you had a wonderful day, and gift cards to bookstores are the BEST gifts!!

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  11. Happy Birthday Mary! Wishing you many, many more! I too see my mama in the mirror, but I'm okay with me.

    (((HUGS)))

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  12. Happy Birthday lady. Age is a state of mind. I think I inherited that from my grandma Buck. She used young thinking into her 90's. Of course my body reminds me every once in a while that "it" is aging;) X.

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  13. I'm a day late here but I hope you got the ecard I sent..Hope it was a happy day for you.
    I love your words of wisdom on here...
    I use to lie about my age too...only I would always say I was older! Then they say things like "oh, you look good for your age!" hehe
    But we are who we are and the lucky of us understand that...glad you're here (o:

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  14. Happy Birthday, Mary. I hope it was a beautiful one - it sounds like you had a lot of fun at B&N - who doesn't love that! :D

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  15. Happy Birthday Mary xo !!
    I love being in my 50's!!

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  16. Happy Birthday to you...
    Happy Birthday to you...
    Happy Birthday to Mary...
    Happy Birthday to you...

    Seems you have a wonderful attitude concerning your age...I'm getting close to 60 myself and wondering how I'm going to deal with it...I'll have to read your post again and save it in memory as a reminder...

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  17. Happy Birthday Mary! I'm a day late here, but wishing you a spectacular year just the same!

    I'm glad you have such good boys, who remember their mother's true love - books! That really is the best gift, I think.

    Glad it was a lovely day for you!

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  18. ~oh mary i missed your special day...wishing you a wonderful new year filled with only good moments and memories made to savor...may you continue to grow with such grace and beauty that you already behold...HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY my dear...how sweet and l♥ved you are by your boys...they know their mother quite well and bestowed the perfect gift...many happy reading days ahead for you...be well and brightest blessings~

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