Friday, March 12, 2010

Happy Friday morning, everyone.  Another week of work is done.  Guess the beach is out for me this weekend.  We're in for some heavy rains this weekend...both Saturday and Sunday.  Matter of fact, the rain has started already.  I don't mind, though.  It's going to be a quiet weekend, anyway.  Hubby will be going to visit his son, and my son is supposed to go with I will have some alone time.  What I will do with it, I haven't decided...but I always manage to find something.  I love my family with all my heart, but I also cherish my alone solitude.  It wasn't always that way, though. There was a time I was lonely.

"Be able to be alone.  Lose not the advantage of solitude, and the society of thyself".--Sir Thomas Browne

Solitude is the time we CHOOSE to be alone...but, when we believe that we have no choice, it becomes loneliness that we feel. Solitude is when you look forward to your private moments.  When we are lonely, we begin to feel as if we are trapped in a web of isolation. We begin to cling to others. We seek out people to spend our time with.  We want our friends, our loved ones with us always. But, we find that we can be in a room full of people and still be lonely.  We surround ourselves with 'noise'.   We feel like we are coming out of our skin when we are alone.   In my case,  I was lonely because I didn't like myself very much.  I didn't like my own company.  I think most of us who were raised in dysfunctional families have difficulty being with ourselves. We feel as if our thoughts and our feelings aren't valid because we feel inadequate; all of our lives we've been told we are inadequate. 

Along my journey, I have learned that you can never find true happiness until you learn how to be at peace with and comfortable spending time with yourself. I once read a book called "Wherever You Go, There You Are".  We can argue with our spouse or a friend, and we can walk away...but we cannot walk away from self. Self is always with us. Learning to like...even love all about increasing our self-esteem. It is all about telling those inner voices to go away, that you are no longer interested in what they have to say.  Retraining your thoughts is not something that can be done overnight.  It took me time to reach the point where I can not only enjoy, but look forward to my solitude.

Hope everyone has a wonderful weekend.



  1. This post spoke to me for a multitude of personal reasons. Thank you for sharing this...and enjoy your weekend.

  2. ah alone time... I need it so much when I dont have it and then when I have too much.... well you know the story... just wanted you to know that I accidently deleted your comment on my post today... didnt want you to think I erased it on purpose...hope you have a great weekend Mary...

  3. ~may you enjoy your moments of solitude...i too rise early just so i can savor a bit of the quick hours all to myself...i feel it is vital!

    "but we cannot walk away from self. Self is always with us"

    imagine if we could...yikes...glad we can't! self helps keep us on our toes and move forward...wishing you a wonderful weekend...the rain started here last night...things were blowing sideways this morning...all calm at the moment but more to come! brightest blessings~

  4. Enjoy your solitude this weekend, Mary! I love solitude and need regular doses of it to soothe my soul. It is a blessing.

  5. Ah yes, soul searching, growing, evolving - all Crone activities, wouldn't you say? I too needed solitude when I couldn't have it. And now, would rather be with others than alone. Sighhhhhh.
    Have a wonderful weekend. We're having rain too.

  6. I love my two daughters with all my heart and soul but in the mornings when they are still asleep and the birds awake and start chirping I go outside and watch the sun come up with them. I enjoy my solitude also! Thank you for sharing Much Love and Light Have a Blessed weekend will be raining here too!

  7. I didn't have alone time much raising 7 kids! But have done fine with 'me' for quite a few years now and rather like the solitude. And I have the freedom to be around or with someone if I so chose...
    Enjoy your time Mary and say hello to 'you' for me (o:

  8. Beautiful and thought provoking entry.

    Enjoy your weekend...

    Gentle hugs...

  9. Oh Mary, I am so sorry to hear that your weather turned wet and windy. The beach sounds like a wonderful place to be about now. Maybe next weekend will be better. Enjoy your alone time.