Thank you all for your comments and well wishes. I am still not feeling that well. Now, it seems to have hit my sinuses and I woke up with the worst sinus headache. I hope it's not an infection because with my new insurance, I cannot go to my regular ear, nose, and throat doctors without a referral...even though I have been going to them for twenty years. It's just a shame what's happening to our medical insurance. So, I am home again. Sometimes I find it better to go off to work because when I am home, unless I find something to keep me occupied, all I do is laying around thinking about how sick I am. When I find something to keep me busy, it is another story altogether.
So, yesterday I began reading one of the books I found that I had bought about six months ago and not even yet cracked open, and I found myself so engrossed, I could not put it down. The book is called "Chamalu: The Shamanic Way of the Heart" by Luis Espinoza (Chamalu) He is a Quechua Indian who has been trained in the traditional Andean Shamanism. Born in Bolivia, he is the founder of the Pachamama (Mother Earth) movement. He is also the founder of the Janajpacha (paradise) Community located high in the Andes. His books offer insight into what humanity has lost in the millennia since the destruction of the Inca Temples. I'd like to share some of his wisdom.
"The past is a corpse. Don't go through life carrying a casket on your back. Mistakes aren't bad in themselves. If we are conscious, they form part of a valuable teaching. Extract the nectar of what has happened to give you power for the present. The worst we can do is to wander disoriented on the periphery of the present, which each day, upon awakening, we are given. Forget what has happened; the future is only the harvest of the seed you plant in the present. Or I could say, the best way to have an acceptible future is to be happy in the present."
It took me a long time to learn that lesson. For so many years I weighted myself down with so many unhappy memories, but once I was able to let go and utilize those unhappy experiences as lessons on the road of life, I was not only able to be happy in the present, but also now am able to focus more on the happy memories of the past. Learning this lesson wasn't easy, and I even went into counseling at one point of my life, but I truly believe that this is one of the reasons I am able to stay so positive thinking about life when everything seems to be tumbling down around me.
And here is another good one.
"No one can harm you when you don't give importance to other people's stuff. They can attack you, and they will, but that's not your problem. It won't have any effect on you if you don't identify with those attitudes, which in themselves aren't violent. But when you give importance to them in a context of fear, they do become poisonous. What is important is that your thoughts and actions are inspired by love. Whatever happens, love is the most powerful energy and the best protection."
So powerful. So true. Others can spoil our day only when we allow them to. I'll admit it to you. I am still working on this one. For example, with my office roommate. No matter how I feel or what is going on in my life, I always try to stay cheerful and upbeat (which is why when I am cranky my boss knows something is definitely wrong). So, some mornings I will cheerfully say, "Good morning." and be ignored. No response. She'll act like she didn't hear me...and the truth is, she probably didn't; she stays so locked in her own little world so often. But, even though I know this, I cannot stop it from effecting me, bringing my mood down a few rungs of the ladder. But, on the outside, the rest of the world doesn't see this. I remain cheerful for everyone else to see, but inside, I am churning with bad feelings. Not good, but like I said, I am still working on.
Thanks for letting me share.