Sunday, January 24, 2010

Carlos Castenada

(Any path is only a path, and there is no affront, to oneself or to others, in dropping it if that is what your heart tells you.)--Carlos Castaneda

Ah, Carlos Castaneda.  Is there anyone amongst us who has not read at least one of his books?  There was a time that his were the only books I read.  "The Teachings of Don Juan"  "A Separate Reality" "Journey to Ixtlan"
I totally marveled at this man who introduced me to the wonders of Shamanism.  I was actually introduced to his teachings when I first arrived in the city and began spending my days at Washington Square Park.  I made my first "city" friend there, and it was she who handed me "The Teachings of Don Juan" and told me "Read it."  And I did so and was opened up to a new way of seeing things, a new way of believing...and my friend and I spent hours discussing what I had read and what I had learned.  She was such a wonderful teacher...and somehow as life moved on we became separated, and I have never found her since.  Perhaps she had only come into my life for one reason only, to open my mind and my heart.  Will I ever know?  It's been almost forty years now since I last saw her...and somehow, I find myself thinking of her today...and thinking of Castenada who I haven't read in many years.  Perhaps it might be time to pick up him up again. 

It's a lazy Sunday here for me.  I had a miserable night.  I actually had to come to the point of almost sitting up to fall asleep.  I had so much mucous, it was choking me.  But, today I feel as if I am finally on the mend.  But, that means back to work...and that's not something I am looking forward to.  Don't get me wrong.  I love the clients.  There isn't much money in the job, but when you have virtually been able to help someone who had once been in the throes of addiction to turn their life around, it makes it all worth it.  I think what I dislike is that I am the eldest person working there, yet I am the one who has the most work.  Somehow, I've gotten the idea that they should lighten up on me some because of my age, but maybe I am wrong.  I can also blame myself because when you prove yourself to be 'super worker' they expect it from you all the time, but those days are gone, and more often than not, I now find myself physically and emotionally drained when I get home.

And I can easily fall into a rut, and perhaps that is the reason for my complaints today.  I've been housebound for awhile now--except for 30 minutes food shopping yesterday--and am now finding it hard to tear myself away.  I love staying in my jammies, eating when I wish, sleeping when I wish.  And now it's been what?  Since Wednesday that I was able to do whatever my little desired whenever I felt like doing it?  Wonder how I will feel when I DO retire.  It's not like I will have money to travel.  In fact, it looks like, unless I leave the city, I'll just be making it.   Will I still feel this way, or will I then miss the opportunity of getting up, getting dressed, and going out to work.  Oh well, I will never know until the time comes.

Hope you all have a restful Sunday.


  1. I'm the one person in the world who has not yet read a Carlos Castaneda book! But notice I said "not yet" . . . I have good intentions of doing so some day when I have unlimited time and freedom to read. That will be during retirement and not before, I am sure! I certainly understand the allure of what you're talking about -- staying home in the jam-jams, just doing whatever the hell you feel like doing for a change instead of meeting someone else's agenda and needs.

  2. Hopefully the worst is over with your cold. We have sunshine this morning, after weeks of dreary foggy weather. Wish I could share some of the sunshine with you. It's sad when we lose track of old friends. X.

  3. Retiring will certainly be fun. Long walks with or without a dog, friend visits, resting, good books and good music. Not to mention the amount of downloads of tv series and movies. Constant vacation!

  4. I hate to say I have not read any of Carlos books either yet will now that you have reccomended them so.. I trust your judgement... Maybe that was your part today, Mary... to tell us all about it.. It is funny how people come into our lives and touch us so and some in such small ways, yet we think of them often through the years even after they are gone... I have several that way.. and am thankful for each one.... So sorry to hear that you had a rough nite.. not a fun thing at all.... Take care of yourself... and truly I hope you are feeling well again soon.. Yet glad to hear that you have been able to have a bit of well deserved R and R....

  5. I haven't read them YET, either. But I will make note of the titles you mentioned and put them on my to read list.

  6. What a photo!!!

    Ahhhhh the unwanted effects of doing a super job. -sigh-

    I'm glad you do feel as if you are on the mend. But please, take it as easy as possible, for a while longer. I know... It's time to go to work. But, don't forget that your body is still fighting a cold off. And still is a little tired, because of the "fight." Give it the amount of TLC, which you cannnnnnnnnn.

  7. Ah, I see now the generation gap. LOL!!! I think I am about twenty some years older than most of you, and I guess that 20 years makes a big difference. At one time, Carlos was 'it', and everyone was reading I guess I just assumed like everyone would here would have read one of his books.

  8. My father was laid off from work this past year. He's now back to work thank goodness, but he was at home from Feb. to Oct. or thereabouts. He has been saying for years that he's just counting down to retirement, it's been his biggest dream. After being at home all that time however, he has now decided he's never going to retire. lol He had no idea what to do with himself.

    My dad though is one of these people who only knows work. He's never cultivated any outside interests or passions really and has devoted his life to his job. Which in some ways is admirable but is also kind of scary.

    I hazard that I will probably not have the same problem, I have the opposite problem, I have too many interests I can't fit them all in. I suspect it might be similar for you. ;-)

  9. Carlos's books sound very intriguing. I know what you mean about friends who come and go and spend seasons of time with you.
    I am now just on the tail end of the same kind of upper respiratory infection. I also almost choked several times because of the thick mucous running down my throat that seemed to make a ball right above my airway. I started taking Muconex DM and that helped thin out the secretions so I could swallow. I also went to the doctor and got a special nasal spray for my sinuses. Finally mine is starting to wane after almost 2 weeks now. Keep drinking warm drinks and take it easy. :)

  10. Yes, it is an awful virus. Saturday was so bad that it was choking me, too. It was rattling there in my chest and I just couldn't get rid of it.