Tuesday, October 27, 2020

Tuesday Catch Up

Sorry I haven't been checking in, but it's been a hectic week.  That and I am suffering once again from that shoulder pain which kept me from the computer last year.  That's the main reason I haven't been here.  It hurts too much.

On Friday I paid the rest of the money for the funeral.  However,
when the sales rep charged me the rest of the money for Ant's funeral she added in the overtime amount that occurs whenever you hold a funeral service  there after 11:30 on a Saturday. Then when she went to the office they told her, no, that she could not charge the overtime fee ahead of time, that I have to pay that in person on the day of the funeral. So the sales rep then voided the first transaction and charged me again minus the overtime fees. Well, to make a long story short, both are showing up as pending in my bank account. And it's quite a large amount. Must give it a few days to see if it posts (according to TD bank). Otherwise, if I choose to go in before it posts,  I would have to pay $30 for an investigation. If I wait til it posts then it will cost me nothing but the headache. Have to go to the bank anyway on Saturday so I guess I will take care of it then. I mean, do I really need all this extra stress in my life right now? Fortunately I saved the email she sent explaining the mistake and her voiding the charge.  

Picked up my son's ashes on Sunday.  He is home.  Old wounds have re-opened.  I think until I set the urn on the shelf I was able to live in some sort of denial.  This has made it real. I also had the funeral director put some ashes in an urn necklace I bought and two urn crosses--one for my son and the other for the woman my son loved from the time he was five years old.

I am pretty angry with my doctor.  He is refusing to refill my BP medication until I come in for my 6 month check up.  He did give me a 10 day supply and he didn't realize it was early so I still had almost 3 weeks.  I am angry because I told them my son had passed and I was planning the funeral, that I needed some time to grieve, and promised that after the funeral on November 7th, I would make an appointment.  He just doesn't care.  I even got a letter from him in the mail "Please make your appointment ASAP".  I understand my health is important, but aside from HBP and chronic pain, I'm healthy.  This appointment could wait a couple of weeks.  It's all about the money.  Since Covid they haven't been seeing patients, and making money, like they used to.  I just think they are being heartless right now.  Even thought of finding another doctor.

I am continuing with my regular class and taking a few elsewhere.  Dropped out of the writing course because my heart wasn't in it right now.  I couldn't concentrate like they wanted me to.  This week there has been a series of telesummits on FB that I have been attending.  So perfect for the week of Sanhaim--The Samhain Spirit Summit.  It's been great and I am learn quite a bit about folk magic. Yesterday there was talk about Iceland, and I learned things about the Vikings and ancient ancestors that I hadn't know.  

I don't know if I ever mentioned, when people ask me what my ethic background is I always say English, Irish, German, and Dutch.  That is what I believed until I received an update result of my DNA test.  Turns out I am 45 percent England and Western Europe, 30 percent Scottish, 14 percent Germanic Europe, 5 percent Swedish, 3 percent Wales, only 2 percent Irish, and Icelandic.  It was total surprise for me.  Now I am brushing up on Scottish history and foods.

Have a wonderful day.

Tuesday, October 20, 2020

Tuesday Ramble

There has been so much going on lately.  The funeral, classes, etc.  Last week I was interviewed by the mayor's office.  The center referred me.  I was asked about my involvement with online classes and how they have helped me.  I was also asked my advice on how they can improve.  It seems the city is planning on expanding the services to other centers and hoping to get other seniors involved as well.  The Dept. of Aging wants to give some classes as well.  They were especially interested in the grief class I took and thought it was great that participants came from different parts of the world.  

I was also interviewed by the nurse interns, not once, but twice.  The first time lasted 2 hours.  And then they requested to speak to me again, but I was interviewed by two different nurses the second time.  They have been giving some great classes.  Today will focus on high blood pressure, but it's not looking like I'll make it.  I've not even showered or had breakfast yet. Wish they didn't do it so early.

I found that I missed those city meals even though they weren't the best.  I missed the box of canned goods, cereals and stuff they used to send.  I also missed the chicken.  I used to take the thighs and add some spice and cook them up for hubby.  (I don't like thighs). But I used to like to take the chicken strips and make a nice stir fry out of them.  So I rejoined.  But, what I got has been pretty disappointing.  

This is supposed to be Chicken Ragu, but all I see is egg noodles, a little sauce and mixed veggies.

Chicken Basil Potstickers.  There are only two of them and mixed veggies.  I figured I will stir fry some chicken and broccoli I bought yesterday.  I don't know if I will eat the ragu.  Doesn't even smell appetizing.  And forget the three sandwiches.  I tossed them away.  I mean whoever heard of purple turkey?

This was only my first delivery and I'm signed up for two weeks.  We'll see what the next delivery brings.  I may just end up canceling. 

My son and I decided we want to keep some of Ant's ashes to keep him close to us so I ordered the following:

This is for my son, Jerry.

And this is what I bought for me.  At first I just couldn't bear to think of it, but now I realize that it will be a way to keep him with me always.  

I forgot to mention yesterday.  The plot I bought is for two, so that will be where I am laid to rest as well.   

Thanks everyone for your response to my question yesterday.  Finally got it across to hubby, and he understands.  My son and I are both going to chip in.  One of my friends who knew Anthony from 5 years old is already talking about appetizers for the table.  Well, I looked at the prices.  Not really in my budget.  She and her hubby are invited as well as their daughter who loved and was loved by my son.  They had once made a promise to each other that one day they would be married.

Monday, October 19, 2020

Monday Catch Up

Gosh, it has been a full week since I have been here.  I have been so busy that I hadn't even realized so much time has gone by.  I've been planning my son's funeral.  On Monday I purchased the plot.  

To get there you have to cross a small pond filled with fish.

I chose to have his plot under the tree.  He will be buried near where the woman is standing.

I also purchased the urn.

And the eulogy cards. 

I ended up with two because the one didn't have his picture.

I ordered this cross for his grave.  It's a small plot so big flower arrangements are out.

And finally, I the guest book. 

My hubby's sister is going to come with the deacon and they will give the service.  It hasn't been easy, made all the harder by Covid restrictions.  There will be no inside service so we will all gather around the site.  No more than 15 people can come so my son is going to livestream for those others who can't.  

Now I am focusing on where we can go to eat afterwards.  Not easy.  Must find a place with outdoor dining and parking. I'm leaning towards a place called Spumoni Gardens which brings me to this question.  I'd planned on ordering a Sicilian pie for each table.  That's what they specialize in.  Dinners there are pricey and not very big.  Then I will have a few small appetizers on the table and the drinks.  That shouldn't run me any more than $200.  Now here is my question.  I believe that it's the families responsibility to pay for this.  Hubby says no,  everyone should pay for their own, that that's the way it is done.  I need some help in this.


Monday, October 12, 2020

Monday This and That

As Monday rolls around again, I'd like wish you all a wonderful week.  I know it's not easy lately, but we have to make the best of it.  That's all we can do.  We were talking about it in Friday's group.  This is certainly not what I expected from my golden years.  After working 50 years, I was finally having fun, and abruptly on March 12th, that ended when the city closed down.  The center most likely will not open until next year.  But, I am thankful for my online classes.  They are getting me through all this pain and heartache.

I had canceled the food from the city about 3 weeks ago and now have re-ordered it.  We are in the orange zone, and I don't want to take any chances.  Don't want to be running around anymore than I have to, and to be honest, those meals weren't the best, but I am feeling it in the pocket.  I didn't eat the entire meal they sent, but I did take the chicken and make it into something delicious.  Plus, they also send a couple of boxes of food.  The box is filled with things like pasta, canned fruits and veggies, cereal, snacks, etc.  That I am really missing.

The other day I had  a dream about an old co-worker only, we were all on a different job and I was a newbie there. She was retiring and everyone had bought her a gift. Funny thing was, everyone bought her a vase. She had all different kinds. I felt bad because I hadn't known about it so I dug in my purse and found some cash, not much, but enough for a gift. I was walking around looking for a store. Everything that was open was restaurants. Finally I wondered into this open air restaurant and in the back they had gifts. Picked up a beautiful white vase with purple flowers on it, but put it down because I wanted to get something different. That's when I woke up. I was trying to go back to sleep to finish the dream so I could see what I bought for her. I will never know what I chose.

The biggest news is this.   We are finally going to bury my son.  Life insurance finally paid off and tomorrow I have to call for prices and steps needed to make it happen.   I've already made a list of things that I have to buy and things I have to do.  I feel so much more at peace now that I can finally lay him to rest and the manner I always wanted.  He deserves the best and he is going to have the best that I can afford.  I love him and miss him so darn much.  Why does this have to be?  Why, instead of planning the holidays do I have to plan my son's funeral?  My heart is broken.

Have a wonderful day.



Friday, October 9, 2020

Friday Roundup

Good morning, and Happy Friday to all.  I used to love this day when I was working.  Now it just means no classes until next week.  Had quite a busy week and looking forward to some rest. 

I had to run to two different banks on Monday.  Stopped to get hubby a couple of nice meats at the supermarket there.  Steaks were so much cheaper than my regular market, but they don't deliver, and meats can be a bit heavy for me to carry.  Had one afternoon class which I decided not to take.  Started coloring in the new book Coloring and Classics sent.

Have to be more careful now when I go out.  The second wave of Covid is threatening with cases picking up in the area.  Cases are rising, and we are in the orange zone.  The red zone is the most dangerous, the yellow the least.  Orange is in the middle.   It's so unfair.  I have followed the rules.  I stayed in for a month or more, wear my mask whenever I go out, even if just to go to the lobby and get my mail, and because of those selfish people with a 'me, me, me' attitude, I may end up sheltering in place again.  Not the way I planned on spending my 'golden years'.

On Tuesday I spent the morning in the kitchen cooking.  Now hubby is stocked up on meals for a few weeks.  Makes it easier on me.  Don't have to cook, wash pots, and clean the stove every single day.  I had one class in the morning.  Our new nursing interns are giving online classes.  This first one was pretty good.  It was about bone health.  Took a nice little nap in the afternoon.

On Wednesday I had my favorite class, Game Day.  We had so much fun.  I had picked up some eggplant parm when I went shopping Tuesday and had half of it left.  Had that with a nice salad for dinner. 

Yesterday the nurses gave  a class on protecting ourselves from falls, and afterwards I stayed on because I had volunteered to be interviewed by the students.  Yikes!!!  Little did I know it would be 2 1/2 hours.  Totally wore me out.  Had my bi-weekly grief counseling session at 1pm, and she remarked that I looked tired.  I told her she'd be tired too if she'd been staring at a computer screen for two hours.  Treated myself to a yummy dinner last night.

Chicharrones.  Not the healthiest, but they sure tasted good.  Had them with rice and beans and a slice of avocado. 

Thursday, October 8, 2020

This Month's Witchy One Subscription Box

Always a great box.  Look forward to it every month.  Never know what treasure will be found.  This month they carried an 'inner warrior' theme.

Bow and Arrow Ear Cuff.  Wearing this reminds us that underneath it all, we need to walk barefoot more, understand wild foods more, and dance around and howl at the moon.

Vegvisir Amulet Necklace.  Vegvisir is an ancient Icelandic stave intended to help the bearer find their way through rough weather.  We are traveling through space and time in every moment of this life.  It is all a journey.  Strength and guidance can be found when wearing the Vegvisir.

As always an awesome picture.  This one goes great with my Unicorns. 

Stone Lion Totem.  The Spirit of the lion enables one to deal with external influences with firm boundaries when required.  If any forces want to dominate you, you have the authority to ward them off. I placed this lion with my fantasy totem animal collection.  He feels right at home.

Joan of Arc Inspired Sticker.  She reminds you that within you is a reservoir, a capacity to pursue even the most overgrown, fearsome paths.

Wednesday, October 7, 2020

Tuesday Rants Sorry!!!!

So the never ending nightmare continues.  Yesterday my niece texted my son that the medical examiner called her.  It seems my sons death was Covid related. An accident.  Must have gotten dizzy, fallen, and hit his head. We knew that he had a head injury.  Problem is, we don't want the medical examiner contacting my niece  for anything.  I am his next of kin, the administrator of his estate, or should I say the 60 cents that is left in his estate after my niece stole it all. Took me several phone calls and an email message to finally get someone from the medical examiner's office, but finally a very nice woman got right on the phone to call me after reading my message.  From now on no information will be given to my niece.  Whew!!!  Now if I can get the credit companies to work with me.  Even with the Administrative Order from the court they are either ignoring me as Netspend is or giving me a hard time as Chime is.  

And if all this crap isn't enough, I got a letter from the city stating that the building owners are trying to recoop some of the money they spent for the re-wiring job a couple of years ago.  They are trying to charge us tenants $30 a room.  That's an extra $90 a month for me. We can't afford that.  We are living check to check as it.  I'll lose my apartment if they win.  And I am sure we are not alone.  Those with four rooms are in for a $124 a month hike if they win.  So we my neighbor and I are forming a tenant's association.  We will be giving out fliers this weekend.  What is on our side is the fact that it seems no electrical rewiring has been done since the house was built a hundred years ago, and, according to the law, tenants are not liable if 'the work was done on a system that has outlived its useful life. Our building was definitely not up to code. I would definitely say this qualifies. 

This is only part of the mess I was left with, and believe me, it took a lot more than just a little water.   

Sigh.  Does it ever end?  Do we ever find peace in our lives?  It seems that lately it's been one thing after another.  

Oh well, I have done something I have debated doing for a few years now.  I have joined OBOD, Order of Bards, Ovates, and Druids and am currently proceeding on their Bardic course.  It's much different from that of NOD, New Order of Druids, who classes were more like shadow work.  OBOD calls for a lot of looking within too, but in an altogether different manner.  It's not psychologically based as NOD was.  Of course I am only one month in now.  That all could change, but it appears OBOD is more about the teachings of the ancient Druids, the mythology, beliefs of, methods of divination, etc.  

Yesterday I lost track of my days. Attended a morning health meeting, but then decided to skip the rest on schedule since I was busy in the kitchen. Didn't want to be running back and forth and burning food. So, at 4 pm I get my old laptop up and prepare for the 4 o'clock listening group. After sitting for 10 minutes it hits me that it's Tuesday, not Wednesday. Ooops!!!! Later I look at the schedule and find out that there won't even be a group on Wednesday. It's over. Okay, so that makes for a quiet day for me. I have my 10 am Gameday and the only other class I had scheduled with the YMCA starts at 10:45. That lets that out. Overlapping times.

Have a wonderful day.

Monday, October 5, 2020

Monday This and That

Good morning.  We've had a pretty cool weekend here.  Real fall like weather has arrived, and I am loving it. Not much has been going on here.  On Friday I had no classes as they canceled my 4 o'clock which brings up the following.  Why do people think they know how you are feeling, how you are SUPPOSED to grieve and what you want. 

One day I was in my cooking class, and it somehow came up that my son passed.  The few people who hadn't known about it offered their condolences and then the class moved on.  That's what I wanted.  That's why I was there.  I attend these classes for a diversion.  Believe me, not a day goes by that I shed my tears, but I don't want to talk about my grief in every class I take.  There is so much pain and heartache in the world from which these hour classes offer a chance to escape.

So here is what happened.  There is a Thursday class which I choose not to participate in.  It's a class that was started at the request of one individual, Susan, to talk about our feelings and our fears.  I took one of the classes, and when one of my peers talked about how he chooses to stay positive instead of giving into the negativity and was quickly shot down by Susan who chooses to stay in the negative.  That turned me off so I never returned.

This past Thursday since I wasn't there Susan decided to attack my peers who had been in my cooking class about how they should not have changed the subject and allowed me to talk about my grief.  One of my peers called me up after the class in tears because she had been made to feel that she hurt my feelings.  I felt so bad because Elaine is someone who has been with me since the day my son died.  Susan just found out and NEVER reaches out to me like Elaine has. I am just so annoyed.  When I see my peers in Wednesday's Game Day class, I will offer my apologies to everyone who was insulted by Susan.

On another note, I canceled meals from the city over a week ago, but last Sunday they showed up and again on Wednesday.  Sunday I sent them away, but Wednesday I decided 'what the heck' and took the meals. Glad I did because none of them fully went to waste.  I took the chicken strips and some of the veggies from two of the meals and made the following stir fry. 

Chicken strips, peppers (green and red), onions, cauliflower, broccoli, garlic powder, onion powder, and Vandaloo curry seasoning.  So good and was enough for two meals for me.

Hubby ate the shrimp for lunch one day and the salmon on another day.  They are such small servings that he had with some corn bread I made.  I ate the pasta meal as a side dish for the chicken and the meatballs are still in the freezer for a later date. 

We had planned to go to our favorite Sunday spot yesterday but it was kind of cool, and hubby was really tired although he wouldn't admit it.  When you are with someone for 29 years you get to know them perhaps even better than they know themselves. So he curled up under the covers and I watched my usual Sunday Golden Girls marathon.  On Saturday it had been a Good Witch marathon.  I watched from 9 am to 11 pm, one movie after another.  My two favorite shows.


Friday, October 2, 2020

Friday Roundup

Oh man, what a week. It started out pretty good.  I finally got the court papers I needed to get into my son's accounts. It's been a long haul, but finally I may get some closure on that end.  Or maybe not.  I immediately sent over copies and Chime contacted me saying they need a clearer copy.  I am aware that that account is bare, and I think they are afraid that I may try to recoup the money from them.  They have already told me in the past that should I wish to proceed to get that money back, that I will need further paperwork.  I have assured them that I do not plan on taking action against them, that I am aware that they had no way of knowing it wasn't my son taking the money.  But still, I guess they are worried.  Makes me mad that they are making it so difficult.  They don't know if they push me hard enough I just may get an attorney and let him take care of them.

My childhood friend passed on Monday.  Earlier in the day her sister told me that Cheryl's organs were shutting down.   Then she contacted me to tell me she was gone.  She was such a beautiful woman, both inside and out.  I will be forever grateful that she had been a part of my life.

On Tuesday I got a phone call from my old job.  One of my old co-workers had a heart attack in the wee hours of the morning and passed away.   We used to have so much fun on the job.  He had a wonderful sense of humor and was such a gentleman.  He will be missed.

And Wednesday would have been my son's 38th birthday. We did a happy birthday in heaven party for him in a FB room.  Big mistake. Next time we will use zoom instead. FB rooms are quite a mess and there were friends and family who tried to get in but couldn't....despite the fact that 50 should have been allowed in the room. Next time zoom for sure.

 Well, I gave up on the art class the center was providing.  Just too incohesive.  It did stir my passions again, and I have decided to give it a shot on my own. I might give the class one more try.  Haven't really made up my mind yet.  Left in the middle of class this week. Perhaps I am just too over-anxious to get started on the final product and maybe should sit back, listen and learn.  This week we were focusing on shading with circles and light sources.  Not quite my cup of tea...but, I admit, very important to know.

I have a reprieve from all the noise next door.  Been quiet there all week.  Found another 'stop work' order hung on the fence.  Don't know how long the silence will last, but definitely going to enjoy it while I can. 

Have a wonderful weekend.