Wednesday, September 30, 2020

Happy Birthday in Heaven



September 30th. Today you would have been 38. Life was finally falling into place for you. Your dream job, a few short months to a new car. You don't know how much I miss you. I cry for you every day. The holidays are around the corner, but they will never be the same. Nothing is the same without you. I'll miss all those crazy jokes you played on me and got such a kick out of my reactions. Like the time you pretended to be a male stripper. Oh, what a laugh you got out of that!!! Then there was our last Thanksgiving, when the microwave went, and you and I had to eat out of the aluminum baking pans. That night I said, "This is a Thanksgiving I will never forget." not knowing that IT REALLY WOULD BE a Thanksgiving I would never forget. I would be our last. 
I am so glad I made you those mint brownies you loved so much. I really didn't want to, you know, but you wanted them so badly that I gave in. I said I would never make them again, but I just might. As time passes I think more and more of making a batch of them and giving them out to the homeless in memory of you.
I love you, Ant. I always will.
Anthony Todisco, forever 37.

Monday, September 28, 2020

Monday Morning This and That

Good morning.  Here we are starting a new week after the first full weekend of fall.  Kind of warm here with gray skies and lots of humidity.  Didn't go to our favorite place yesterday.  Thee was a threat of drizzle all day, and besides, I think hubby really needed a day of rest.  

So I went and did my shopping yesterday morning.  While waiting for the bus I was sitting on a wall and reading my phone messages.  All of a sudden I heard, "Mary, is that you?"  Oh my, it was a friend from the center.  I was so so happy.  This friend doesn't participate in online classes so I haven't seen her since March.  Funny thing is I was just thinking about her the other day.  We'd first met in WW, then found out we attended the same senior center as well.  Usually I am anxiously waiting for the bus to arrive, but yesterday I was glad that it took its time.  We had a good chance to catch up on things. 

Colored this one in my new coloring book.  Loving it.

Had another crazy dream this weekend.  Dreamed we moved into a new place.  Been dreaming about new places a lot lately.  Wonder if that means something.  I'm not looking anymore so I doubt it.  Well, this place was on the first floor of a building that had lots, and I mean lots of apartments.  The lobby was set up like a train station and all the seats were full.  I had access to a nice back yard.  It was autumn, and I remember talking about looking forward to spring so I could plant.  Out the side window was a tree and lots of cats were sleeping under it.  

Well, I went out to hang in the lobby and met some girl who said she cut hair.  I needed a cut so I asked if she would do it for me.  In my dream my hair was thick and raven black.  It was gorgeous.  Well she starts chopping.  And then I notice that she is teasing my hair before she aimlessly slices.  Finally I stop her.  My hair is now a mess.  I tell her off and go outdoors in tears.  Everyone asks what happened to my hair.  I call my regular girl and she says to come it and she will fix it. But now I look in the mirror and my hair looks gorgeous.  The cut is falling into place perfectly.  I am still mad and head over to the salon.  I end up with a thin shaggy cut like I have now. Then I wake up.

Friday, September 25, 2020

Friday Roundup

 Well, here we are.  Another Friday.  Another week is done.  They are speeding by at breakneck speed lately.  One would think time would slow up with all the time spent indoors, all the boredom, but it's not that way at all.  This was a busier than usual week for me.

On Monday I went to do the food shopping.  I keep hoping I'll run into a peer from the center when I go, but so far it hasn't happened.  On Tuesday I did my banking in two different directions.  Felt almost normal aside from seeing everyone with a mask.  I also canceled the city food orders.  They give you nothing but slop, at least the place that I got.  Several places got the go ahead to give meals, and as I found out in Wednesday's center meeting, some are better than others. Different zip codes get from different places, and I just happened to be in the wrong zip code.  I've gotten to the point where I can't even look at that food anymore.  A dog wouldn't even eat it. That's how bad it is.

So now I am on my own for meals, at least until late October, early November when they begin grab and go meals at the center.  I'll get on the bus and go. Heck, it will give me the opportunity to see my peers.  Of course, all this is dependent on Covid.  If cases begin to spike due to kids back in school and dine in restaurants, I won't be riding the bus.  So if that happens, I will probably have to sign up for food delivery again.  Hopefully next time I get a better place.

Attended a new art class the center has this week.  On zoom, of course.  It looks like it's going to be a lot of fun.  We are going to learn sketching and the use of watercolors, shading, etc.  The center will provide watercolors and brushes to those that can't afford it.  That's awesome.  I have my own so am not going to take advantage.  Another new class I tried this week was a meditation class at a different center's zoom.  I enjoyed it and will definitely go back next week.

Got my newest coloring book yesterday.  

And my handmade witch from Etsy arrived as well.  You can tell I love this time of year.

Have a wonderful weekend.  I know I may try to get to our favorite Sunday bench if the weather holds out. 

Thursday, September 24, 2020

Indian Summer

It's going to be pretty warm here today.  Put my flannel gown away last night as the cool air receded to a later date.  Indian summer is here.

Indian Summer.  Funny, I don't hear it called that much anymore.  Maybe that's because I am a 'city girl' now, and for many here, the changes of the season mean nothing more than a change in wardrobe.  Oh I'm not saying that city folks don't care.  They do.  But it's not the same as it is for someone who spent  the first 26 years of their life in the country.  They don't smell the rain coming like I do or feel a storm in the breeze.   And that's not meant as a put down in any sense of the word.  Heck, I've been a city girl now for 47 years, and I know I could never live in the country again as much as I say I would like to.  The city is my home now, and while it's nice to visit the country, it's always good  to get home.

Just ask my son.  When he was forced to move in the middle of the pandemic he stayed with my daughter in the Poconos for awhile.  There were no stores nearby.  And seeing that he didn't have a car, he was pretty much stranded when my daughter returned to work.  At first he loved it and spoke about how restful and peaceful it was.  But then, a month passed and it was 'get me outta here'.  That would probably be me as well.  

Indian Summer is defined as  unseasonably warm and calm weather that occurs after a cold spell in Autumn.  No one is sure where it got it's name, but many believe that it refers to the Indians practice of gathering the last of the season's stores during this period. When I first read this poem it brought back memories of my youth when Indian Summer was seen as a dangerous time.  It was during the polio epidemic, just prior to the vaccine.  Our parents were so fearful for us. While the entire summer was a time of danger, they placed much more emphasis on Indian Summer.   I remember how we'd swim in the lake all through July and August, would would be forbidden to swim in the when Indian Summer arrived. No one really knew how polio was transmitted or what caused it, but swimming was a 'no no' during the season.              

"Indian Summer"

Just after the death of the flowers,
And before they are buried in snow,
There comes a festival season,
When nature is all aglow—
Aglow with a mystical spendour
That rivals the brightness of spring,
Aglow with a beauty more tender
Than aught which fair summer could bring....

                Emeline B. Smith

And here I am now, some 60 odd years later once again facing an unseen enemy.   Only this time it scares me.  When you are young, you feel untouchable.  Leave the worrying to your parents.  That's how us kids felt back then.  In today's world, facing today's enemy, we DO worry, especially those of us considered vulnerable.  Let's hope and pray this enemy is wiped out just as polio was so many years ago.


Wednesday, September 23, 2020

Teenage Friends and Memories

When I was in high school, I had three good friends I hung around with-a set of twins and their younger sister.  My mom forbade me to see them, but that never stopped me.  Their mom was divorced and was dating so to my mom, she was a whore....which meant the daughters were as well.  Well, the irony of it all was that all the while my mom was condemning their mom for dating, my mom was running around every night with her boyfriend.  This went on for as long as I remember and was still going on when I left home.  Talk about hypocritical.  My mom just could not help herself.  Her boyfriend was the love of her life, her soul mate.  

But, I'm not here to write about my mom today.  I'm here to talk about my friends.  Every morning I'd leave my house to go to school and head for their house. There we would exchange outfits for day and other things teenage girls did.  Eventually, though my mom won out, and we parted ways.  At 26 I moved to the city and never really thought of them until a few years back when I joined Classmates.  By now I was in my Crone years and yearning for some ties to my past.  And I found them.  My friend Cheryl and her sister, Jamie, and I became friends on FB and found comfort in reminiscing about our youth.  I was supposed to go to visit them in our neighborhood and we were going to hang out, but then there was a transit strike, and that put and end to that.  Unfortunately, I never have gotten there to see them.

Jamie is in the black dress with a sweater.  I am at the end with my hair in an upsweep.

This was my high school year book pick.  I am second from the end in front.

This was Cheryl's senior picture in the yearbook.

And then I see a post on Jamie's page asking for prayers for Cheryl because she was going through a very rough patch.  Now mind you, Jamie is an avid Trump supporter.  I just delete and block all her posts about the glory of Trump and have made it a point to NEVER post politics or religion on my FB page.  So, she has no idea that I am one of these 'snowflakes' she is always condemning.  So when she posted nothing more about Cheryl I just assumed it was something to do with her family, or marriage, etc.  Never did I think health because Jamie was still busy posting about Trump.  Her biggest complaint was that she couldn't get to the rally in Milford.  

I kept checking hers and Cheryl's page but nothing more was said.  So you imagine my shock when I read yesterday that Cheryl was doing slightly better and was taken off the ventilator. Cheryl was obviously very, very ill.  I just could not, COULD NOT believe that your sister is lying in the hospital near death and all you can talk about is Trump.  I am truly flabbergasted.  If it were my family member he would be the least of my concerns. I'm still shaking my head about it.

On an even more personal level, this has also made me think about my own mortality.  Here is a childhood friend, a year younger than I am, fighting for her life. I'll soon be 74.  How much time will I have left?  We sort of discussed feelings about Covid and how it has effected us seniors in one of my groups.  We all agreed that this is not the way we thought we would spend the last years of our lives.  I wonder, just what will the new norm be like.

Monday, September 21, 2020

Monday Morning This and That

Good morning everyone.  Had a wonderful weekend.  Went to my son's new place for dinner yesterday. It's the first time we've seen each other since the holidays.  We hugged each other tightly and cried and mourned in the way we should have been able to had Covid not robbed us of this time we needed together.  It's been 5 1/2 months since my son's death I was finally able to hug and mourn.

Jerry has become a remarkable cook, and he and Tahnee were such gracious hosts. We spent some time reminiscing about Ant and despite tears, were able to laugh at some of his antics. Always a practical joker.

Enjoyed playing with my son's rescue, Ulani.  They got her from the ASPCA.  She is such a darling and so sweet and friendly.  

Time to head home.  Only damper last night was my tummy troubles, and I can't even count how many trips I made to the bathroom. The hour ride home was one of extreme anxiety, but the immodium helped, and I made it home just in time to run to the bathroom. As I look back on it, it's my own fault. Ate one of my triggers yesterday. As we grow older certain foods don't agree with us anymore especially those of us with IBS-D and one of those is egg sandwiches. When I worked I used to have bacon egg and cheese on a roll every morning, and it never bothered me except to put on quite a few excess pounds. But, in the past year ago they have become a real trigger for me. I can eat hard boiled eggs, but not fried. And yesterday I made myself an old childhood fave for lunch--eggs on toast. Whatever made me think it would be different just because I didn't eat it as a sandwich!!!!

Had to dig out a flannel gown.  Boy, did it ever get cold here....very quickly.  Was sitting around Saturday night in my gown and my fuzzy sock slippers.  Ran around in the morning shutting all the windows.  I will say, though, I do like it better than that extreme heat and humidity we'd been having.  It's not only far more comfy but also will save me money in the long run.  With not need for the AC or fan, the electric bill will go down.  They do say it will warm up at the end of the week, but only up until the 70's.  I can deal with that. 

Today I'm off to the supermarket.  Didn't get to go yesterday so I'm heading over today.  It's quieter on weekdays anyway.  At 2pm I plan to attend a class, 'Food for Thought' via Project Find, on zoom of course. 

Saturday, September 19, 2020

Short and Sweet

 Smile, it’s Saturday!

Friday, September 18, 2020

Friday Roundup

Had a fairly busy week, and next week looks to be busier.  A couple of new classes starting, and I am looking forward to them.  Not going to talk about them now though.  They are the future and this is about the week that what was.

Sunday morn I hopped on the bus and did my shopping on my own.  First time since March. Felt pretty good not to have to depend on someone....although I will admit I did enjoy shopping with hubby.  We hadn't done so in over 20 years.  If I could find one positive about Covid, it is that it brought hubby and I closer together. We spent much more time with and doing more with each other.  We had been living separate lives for so long, this made me realize just how far apart we had grown.  

I decided this week that I want NO MORE of this city food.  Just can't even look at it anymore.  It's slop that someone threw together for a paycheck.  Not that I didn't appreciate it, I did.  But lately they just don't seem to care what they give you.  So I've spent the week making soups and now have a freezer full.  Chicken soups on Monday and bean soups on Tuesday.  

Served with a dollop of sour cream.  Deeee-licious!!!!

They showed up at my door at 8 am Wednesday with a bag of frozen dinners.  I didn't even open the bag to see what was inside.  I already knew  and immediately took them to my neighbors.   

Had another meeting on Wednesday about the center.  I kind of liked it the way it was although I would have liked more classes.  I spoke up about that.  I also spoke up when the 'grump' started complaining that the lunches shouldn't be served because some people only come for the lunch and then go home.  (the grump is a peer who finds fault with everything).  She doesn't like bingo; well neither do I, but others love it so let them be.  She complained that everyone leaves after lunch.  Well, I spoke up about that as well.  For some that is the only meal they have.  Also suggested some more interesting groups in the afternoon and then maybe people would stay.  And yes, people do leave after lunch, but many depend on the vans, and they start driving people home at 1pm.

I used myself as an example.  Yes, I come in the morning and usually leave after lunch.  I come for socialization and classes.  I don't care for the bingo either, but I bring something to occupy my time such as my dot to dot book.  When there is something interesting happening in the afternoon I will stay.  Otherwise, I go home after lunch.  I'm a morning person.  I get up early and rather than hang out in the house, I get out and go to the center.  Fact is, she sleeps all day and doesn't get up until afternoon.  So the center is supposed to change to suit her?

Thursday was a quiet day.  This was an off week for counseling so no session.  I gave up on the Trivia game.  It's no fun when there is someone who knows every answer and doesn't even give another a chance.  I had a few of the answers, but she called out before I even had a chance.  A couple people dropped out during the game.  I stayed, but haven't been back since.  

We are about to enter the last weekend of summer. Wow, the lost summer, the summer that never was. Dug all my summer clothes out in spring and didn't get to wear most of them. My dresses got lots of use. It's easy to slip one over your head and sit around. Now the fall clothes come out. Is it really worth it? Will I get to wear them? Somehow I doubt it. Usually this time of year I am ordering a few new things to wear. Not this year. Not worth it.


Wednesday, September 16, 2020

Poetry in the Time of Covid


Today I wanted to share a couple of our poems that were published in the Center's blog.  Both were chosen because they are so appropriate for the times.  We have great hope for the future while yearning for a connection with others.  

Speaking of connection, I took the bus over to the supermarket for the first time on Saturday and then again yesterday for the things I forgot.  Can't very well make black bean soup without black beans. It felt good to be on my own, independent and not having to depend on hubby, but it was also strange.  As I looked around the bus with everyone wearing a mask, I remembered back to that time before Covid that I already was wearing a mask to protect myself from catching something and bringing it home to hubby and how people would look at me strangely.  I always felt that I had to explain so I'd grab the ear of the person nearest me and explain about hubby's illness and my reasons for mask.  Of course, I didn't have to, but I did feel funny at the time.  Ironically, now I'd probably feel funny if I were the ONLY person on the bus WITHOUT a mask. 

And secondly, I would take the bus the same time every morning.  When you do that, you always see the same people at their spots waiting for the bus and a comradery develops.  Pleasantries were always exchanged.  Yesterday I found myself feeling a sense of anticipation as we neared certain stops and a let down when the expected person was not there....especially the stops that picked up members of the center.  

I also wanted to share with you my beautiful mermaid....a gift for a great grand who adores mermaids.  It should look fantastic in a frame adorned with sea shells.  I have plenty on hand to work with.


Hope is a desire that keeps you from giving up
Hope takes a conscious effort
Hope is the life preserver on the choppy sea of
Hope is something to hold on to when things get
really bad
Sometimes you gotta slap yourself and get
back on track
Decide to take that path, not the darker one
You feel her excitement; it’s palpable
That hope brought him through
Gratitude can feed the flower of hope
It’s a choice to take care of that flower and  if we
 it withers and dies
Others need you
Even if the loss is so bad
Cry it out
Then say OK
What can I do to put a smile on someone else’s


On every pleasant thought your name is written
No, I do like you
Needing an association
Endless possibilities
Can come in many forms
Touching with our souls
In our hearts
Offering friendship
No limits when we have each other.

Tuesday, September 15, 2020

Tuesday Ramble


Lately every time I come on Blogger I have new Blogger page.  I switch back to the classic Blogger page, but inevitably  I end up back on the new page again so I decided to try to go with it.  Not sure if I really care for it.  Why the extra step when I go down my reading list and click on something I want to read?  Why does it always tell me I'm about to enter that page and am I sure that's what I want to do? Heck, I wouldn't have clicked on it if I didn't want to read it. It's the same thing with FB.  I keep avoiding the change and switching back to classic, but eventually they are going to force me to keep the new FB.  Why can't they leave well enough alone? 

Look how far they have gotten next door.  Already working on the second story.  Must say I am not a happy camper.  I don't like the idea of an 8 story building going up within two feet of my bedroom window.  What kind of view am I going to have?  Look out the window onto plain gray walls of concrete.

Went for a nice long walk yesterday morn in the cool air.  Oh, was it feeling so good after all this hot and sticky weather we've been having.  I found I could even breathe better and walk further.  Then I went back home and did a bit of cooking.

This is my Lipton Chicken Soup taste alike. The secret is in the fennel. Made 6 containers of it.


Very simple to make with few ingredients.  Carrots, celery, chicken broth, orzo, black pepper, and fennel with just a wee bit of salt.  I use the Herb Ox Sodium Free packets and use them to taste.  Used 6 for this soup.

Also made some Mediterranean Chicken Soup yesterday.

Carrots, celery, onions, chicken, low sodium chicken broth, spinach, chick peas, diced tomatoes, cumin, oregano, and black pepper.  

Today I plan on making  my bean soups and then I have a month's worth of soups.  Would have done it all yesterday but I forgot some of the ingredients for the bean soups so I have to run out to the store this morning.  Second bus trip for me this week.

Monday, September 14, 2020

Monday Morning This and That

 Monday morning greetings.  Had a rather quiet weekend.  Saturday was gorgeous.  Temp was only 61 degrees so I definitely went for a walk.  Couldn't go far because my body is not used to it, but I did stand in front of the building for awhile after I got back.  Took some pictures as I stood there.  I love that they have so much greenery garnishing our building.


Had a very strange and rather funny dream on Saturday.  It's so weird I just had to share.  Here in the city the big news has been how the Dept. of Homeless Services has been re-locating homeless families from a hotel they have lived in for months to clear the way to move in homeless men.  It seems these men were housed in a hotel on the upper East Side in a ritzy neighborhood and residents there were unhappy to the point of threatening a law suit if they didn't get them out of their neighborhood....and as we know, the rich always get their way. Now the families are complaining and threatening their own law suit.  So I am guessing this is where my dream came from.

Well, in my dream I had a rather large apartment.  It was very long and covered an entire block.  I had 16 rooms and had women from shelters residing there.  There was so much junk around, and I was trying to straighten up but the women were complaining they were hungry.  But, before I could cook I had to clear off space in the kitchen.  I found all kinds of crap out there including a small vial of 'weed'.  I decided to make them some pancakes and then clean up, but I kept losing my batter.  And through all this more and more people were checking in at the front desk.  I remember three older women and men sitting in my kitchen.  I asked someone to set the table, but no one would do it, so I went to set the table for everyone.  When I came back, my batter was gone again.  Finally, I made a huge bowl of batter and was finally making the pancakes.  I made 6 of them, put them on a plate, and then lost that as well.  The dream ended with me slaving over the stove trying to get this breakfast ready.  Don't know if I ever did.

I decided I don't want any more of that food from the city.  Went through my freezer, and I had mustard glazed chicken, parmesan crusted chicken, jerk chicken, apricot glazed chicken, and rosemary chicken.  That's all they send aside from an occasional seafood that I give to hubby.  They may sound yummy, but they all taste the same and are made from the smallest chicken thighs to be found.  I am grateful for the food they gave me, but now it just seems like they are tossing anything together and giving it to us.  The veggies are all soggy and watery.  Just can't stomach that food.  

So I went out shopping yesterday, by myself on the bus,  and bought the ingredients to  make myself some soups.  Will be making a few types of soup this morning.   It feels so good to be independent.  And, I saved myself some money.  When you shop with a man whose eyes are bigger than his stomach you come home with a lot of unneccesary goodies. 


Friday, September 11, 2020

Friday Roundup

So we had our meeting with the center on Wednesday.  It's definitely going to be awhile before it re-opens, and even at that, it will not be the same.  It will definitely not open this year. The director explained that they had an all new ventilation system installed and have spent over $3000 in other things needed to keep us protected.  But, in the long run, it is not up to the director.  It is up to the Commissioner and the Department of Aging, and they are still in the planning stage as to how things will be run, and they are looking for new models of what centers will be like upon opening.  The new norm.  One thing is they are no longer to be called senior centers.  Now they will be called Centers for Older Adults.  Personally, I don't mind the term senior.

I really miss my friends.
Henry who is almost blind from macular degeneration.  Boy, does he love to dance.
Dear sweet Mary who speaks with an Irish lilt and rides her bike all over the place.
Dorothy in the colored shirt who has a heart of gold, will help everyone, but has this curious topic of carrying a conversation all by herself.  In red is Angela, Henry's girlfriend.

In the middle is Mary Lou.  She fell and broke her hip during Covid.  I understand that one of these men passed away. These were an everyday threesome so I am not expecting to see them again.  It makes me sad how many I've gotten close to who will not be back.
 Judy who runs the jewelry class.
 Gosh I can't believe I have forgotten her name.
 Sylvia.  Just turned 96.  Fell and broke her hip during Covid.
My dear friend, Marie.  I often wonder if I will see her again.  I did see the woman in the back with black hair in our zoom meeting.  Her hair is pure white now...and gorgeous.
 My friend Marc.  I really miss his sense of humor.

One thing they do know is that the virtual classes will continue even after the center is open, and there will not be as many classes offered at the center, at least for awhile.  I guess that's to keep the number of people down. One thing they will have a problem with is transportation, namely the vans that pick those elderly up who can't travel on public transportation due to medical or pain issues.  Now to social distance they will only be able to fit four in a van so  that will have to be worked out.  Usually there are 8 to 10 in the two vans so this new way will mean a lot of extra back and forth trips.

On a positive note they should be receiving the okay to start up with 'grab and go' meals which are cooked by their fabulous kitchen staff.  With the virus level down and fewer people on the bus, it could be a day out a couple of days a week for me.  I could take a ride over to pick up a meal, buy myself an iced coffee at my favorite place,  and spend some time on one of the benches seeing some familiar faces...not to mention some better food.  The cooks at the center put love into their food and there is rarely a complaint.

There will be no volunteer party nor Christmas party this year.  My first year as secretary to SAC and no party.  Just my luck.  As secretary I did have to take notes for both meetings, and I tell you, it felt pretty good to be doing something constructive.  

It rained yesterday so I didn't get out for my walk.  That's okay.  I find it hard walking in the humidity anyway so I didn't mind staying in at all.  Had my counseling session at 1 pm.  The good news is we will be meeting every two weeks now instead of weekly.  That's a positive step.

A new group began at 4 called "What's Driving You Crazy".  Each week for the next three weeks we will be discussing topics related to this time of Covid.  Yesterday's discussion was about 'Brain Fog'.  I have to say, I really enjoyed this group.  It's something that was definitely needed.  Yesterday we discussed how it was for us when shelter in place took effect and how we pulled ourselves through it.

Wednesday, September 9, 2020

A Zoom Visit With a Psychic

Yesterday as I was commenting on another blog, it occurred to me that I never told you about the psychic my son's girlfriend referred me to.  They even paid for my hour and a half reading on zoom.  He had met with my daughter, and she was totally amazed that he was able to actually name names.  So here are some of my highlights.

The psychic began by telling me there were a lot of people coming through for me.  One was an older lady, a mother figure but not my mother.  My grandmother was fairly old when I was born.  My mom had been a change of life baby, and my grandmother was already in her 60's when I born.

He also said there was another Mary there.  Her name was not Mary but she liked to be called that.  My great great grandmother was Constance Mary.

My son was there with us.  He felt so bad about leaving me like he did and stated he got dizzy, fell, and hit his head.  He remembers my niece finding him, but by then it was too late.  He was already in the spirit world.  He has been trying to reach out to me.  Psychic asked me if I hear someone calling, 'mom, mom, mom' when I wake up.  He told me I should open myself up and really listen.  My son said he knows he caused me a lot of heartache, and he is so sorry.  He never meant to hurt me.  'I'm sorry mom. I didn't mean to go.' The psychic relayed several messages for my son and told me to start watching for signs.   

Since that time I have gotten the scent of roses at different times and places in my home.  My son did send me flowers on occasion, but one instant really stuck out in my mind.  Several years back my son gave me 6 roses.  I immediately put them in water.  As days went on I was amazed that my roses weren't fading.  I figured I must be doing something right or these were very special roses.  They were.  Turns out they were silk flowers with the scent of roses.  We laughed about that one for a good long time.  

My son spoke of a woman he had loved.  In fact, he said they had loved each for many years and had planned to marry, but it just never worked out for them.  He wanted me to give her the message that 'she should not feel guilty.  She did nothing wrong'. He pleaded with me to be sure I told her.  My son's first real friend was a girl who lived next door. Her name was Tiffany. He was five and she was six.  They grew up being best of friends and as adults their relationship became one of romantic love.  They even planned to get married, but for one reason or another, it never panned out.  I had been speaking to Tiff after his death, and she'd been feeling very very guilty because he had asked her to send him a picture she had of the two of them, and she never did it.  She felt she had let him down.

The psychic then proceeded to tell me that my son was with my mom and dad and several other people he had never met in life.  He mentioned someone whose name began with the letters MAR and said that he had greeted him when he crossed over, but then moved on because he was further along.  My son's father's name was Mario and he died in 1986.  He then said there was someone named Rose who was also looking out for my son.  My son's grandmother's name was Rose.  

My mom spoke then and told me that she knows she had been cold and had been cruel with her words.  She needed to apologize but never had a chance in this lifetime.  She said she was proud of what I had become and how I had helped so many people.  (All true about my mom. Af 50 I had changed careers and became a substance abuse counselor).

The psychic then said he sees me involved in a court case.  He stated that it would take time, but I would eventually win.  My son did not want me to give up on it.  (My niece stealing his money.  We will eventually take her to court when I become his administrator.)

He then  told me someone from my past was there and mentioned a fertility issue.  He said this person said they were so sorry for how they had treated me.  My first husband married me because I had a child and he couldn't have children.  The marriage didn't last.  It turned out that he was a sex addict who was out with different women almost every night coming home in the wee hours of the morning. 

Others were mentioned briefly--my granddad, my dad, one of my son's friends who had passed, even gave the name of another of my friend's sons who was still alive...and it was an unusual name that could be guessed at. 

Tuesday, September 8, 2020

Tuesday Ramble

Had a very quiet Labor Day.  It was especially quiet because the construction workers also took off.  Amazing to have three days of peace and quiet.  I can't begin to tell you about the noise they make.  It's unbearable and at times has brought me to tears.  

I have finally found something to read that holds my interest--the entire Avalon series beginning with "The Fall of Atlantis".  In fact, I couldn't put it down over the weekend.  I've already started listing the different characters so as I move on in the books I can figure out their different incarnations.  That was part of the fun last time.

Received this month's Inked Goddess subscription box, and again, I am in love.  She sends the greatest boxes.  This month's theme is Spiritual Warrior, connecting with your authentic self and personal truth.  

The unveiling. 

 'A Warrior's Journey Workbook', a journal for those on the path of self-empowerment and becoming a spiritual warrior.  Over 70 workable pages and exercises. 

Spiritual Warrior Expansion Packet--Spiritual Warrior, swords, Elite Shungite, and Shungate Water.
Sword of Truth necklace.  The sword is the ultimate symbol of truth, protection, and nobility.  

Sacred Temple votive.  A blend of Nag Champa, Frankincense, and Myrrh to help create sacred space in your home and in yourself.
Elite Shungite water DIY kit.  This kit contains Elite Shungite gemstone, a bottle, a label and instructions on how to create Shungite Water for detoxification and personal power.
Elite Shungate is estimated to be a billion years old.  Is is one of the most powerful natural healing and detoxification stones ever created by Mother Earth. 

Monday, September 7, 2020

Monday Morning This and That

We had a great class on Friday.  We discussed the pandemic and how it has effected us in both negative and positive ways, and the fact is, despite all the negatives, there are positives to be found.  Take hubby and I, for example.  Up until Covid and shelter in place we both went our separate ways.  I had all my day time activities, and he drove a cab at night.  At the most we had only a couple hours each day together and a movie and dinner date twice a month.  That was it.  That was all the time we spent together.

Then came Covid, and we sheltered in place.  I really had thought he would give me a harder time about giving up his job, but this scared him as well.  I was pretty stocked up with food when it happened since I had just done a big shopping the Friday before, and I got my food from the center.    Then Rite Aid opened for customers, only 5 allowed in at a time, and that became our big day out.  We'd first go for a ride, and then stop at Rite Aid for things like milk and bread.  As the months went on we found ourselves doing everything together--banking, food shopping, trips to Verrazano for fun in the sun.  Even now that things are getting back to normal with hubby working vouchers only and my getting out on my own, we still do our weekly shopping together and head to our favorite bench.  This was the positive side of Covid.  It brought us together.

Got my new Stash Autumn teas from Amazon the other day. Sipping on Pumpkin Spice right now. Other flavors include Maple Apple Cider, Cinnamon Apple Chamomile, Cranberry Pomegranate, Cinnamon Vanilla, and Spice Dragon Red Chai. Yummy stuff.

There is no end to my surprise when it comes to some of the people I have friended. Never knew how bigoted and racist some of then are until the orange idiot in the White House opened the door and gave them permission to outwardly show it.   The other day I read a post on FB that turned my stomach. It was written by someone I considered a good friend despite being a Trump supporter.  It seems that Jacob Blake's father was taped reading from the Qu'ran.  Her comment?  "The Qu'ran doesn't belong in the United States."  Well, I wonder what she would think of me if she knew I had not only a copy of Qu'ran but also the Hindu Rig Veda, the Buddhist Dhammapada, the Analects of Confucius, and the Jewish Tamaka along with my Christian Bible.  I had to study each when I was in Theological School studying to become an Interfaith minister.  There is good and bad in all religions.

Yesterday we went to our favorite spot.  

 Finally got a picture of this guy.  He's usually diving after fish.

Might be the last warm day we have there.  The leaves are already starting to dry out. The hospital where hubby's son is at is opening up for visitors so next Sunday he will be visiting him. Only immediate family is allowed so I won't be going.  That will free us up on the third Sunday of the month and that is already set with a visit to my son's new apartment.