Friday, July 31, 2020

More Catch Up News

I had to get rid of that new Blogger.  I'm not too good with change, and I found it very difficult to understand.  In fact, yesterday I had so much trouble I wondered if I should give up, but glad I didn't and glad I found the way to revert to the old....although they say at some point in the future we will all have the new Blogger.

In early June, my  son was advised he had to move by July 1st.  He'd lived in that apartment for 7 years and never missed a month's rent, but the owner's son was losing his apartment and needed a place to Jerry and his girlfriend get booted.  This after he worked on his hands and knees pulling staples from the floor after the fire in his building.  And right in the middle of a pandemic when he and his girlfriend are out of work. Right now they are out in PA with my daughter, but have recently found a place on the same block where they were living so soon they will be moving back to the city.  There is a vacant apartment across the hall from me, but they love that area where they lived.  As much as I'd love having them so close to me, perhaps being so close to each other all the time would not be a good thing.  That's how I choose to look at it so I am not disappointed.

My daughter is scheduled for bariatric surgery on August 3rd.  Of course, I am a wreck and praying that all goes well for her. I'm not so sure how I feel about that.  Any surgery can be dangerous and although many have wonderful results, others have long-term issues.  I remember a co-worker who had it and said it was the biggest mistake she ever made.  She couldn't eat anything other than soup without getting sick and vomiting.  My daughter has made up her mind so all I can do is pray. 

Remember how I used to take meditation and get Reiki at the center?  Well, we got notice that our dear, sweet teacher passed away suddenly.  We don't know what happened, but it was devastating news.  The center will be having an online memorial for her on the 19th. She was such a great meditation facilitator and powerful Reiki healer.  I remember how amazed I was the first time she performed it on me and the hair on my head raised up to meet her hands.  May she RIP.

My friend, Marie, fell and broke her hip.  She had surgery and is now in a rehab center.  She has retreated from the world, wants no part of her old friends.  She is too tired to talk. I wanted to send her some flowers but as per her niece, she is just too tired to take care of them.  I suggested sending some fruit, but that was out as well since they won't let on where she is.  I had figured that if I sent flowers they would have to tell me.  I fear now that Marie may be one I never get to say good bye to as well.  It scares me when I think of how many I may never see again once the center reopens.  There haven't been any Covid deaths among members that I know of, but many were up in years and many may be afraid to come back again.

Mother's Day was so bittersweet this year, but this gift from my son won my heart.  I shall treasure it forever.

Thursday, July 30, 2020

Checking In

Wow, it took me forever to get here.  So many changes in Blogger since I've been gone.  Didn't realize it's been over two months. I've not been suffering from a major depression, but have been moderately depressed.  According to my grief counselor who tested me at our first session, I have shown improvement. In fact, I have gone from a 15 score to an 8, whatever that means.  I do know that I haven't had much interest in many of the things I enjoy such as reading, jewelry making, and even posting on this blog.  But she never asks me about those things so I don't know how she comes up with her scores.  I know she does count my sleep problems, but that has gone on for years, long before my son passed, and lately a lot of my issues have been because of pain.  The arthritis has spread to my hips so finding comfortable sleeping positions is a problem.  I find that I don't look forward to our weekly sessions, and she is on vacation this week, so I am thrilled I don't have a session.  My friend feels I may be trying to avoid dealing with the dark feelings and emotions so I dread meeting with her each week.  Who knows?

It also doesn't help matters to have a computer that is constantly crashing.  I am in desperate need of a new one.

I do still attend my classes on Zoom that the center offers.  Have also completed the 10 week Aging Mastery course and am now waiting on my certificate.  I'm also attending weekly Zoom concerts.  Today it was songs from some of the greatest Broadway plays.  I've also enrolled in a 6 week Grief course--'Grieving Well in a World of Loss."  We are working with Elizabeth Kubler Ross's book about the 5 stages of grief.  Each week we have reading assignments, a Wednesday night Zoom meeting, activities, and journal writing.  There are 7 of us in the class, and I've met women from around the world. Several other new courses are coming up in August.

And I do have some things that I find some enjoyment in.  I've taken up adult coloring and have been coloring some fairies and owls for my great grands.  I also joined a monthly subscription club called Coloring and Classics, and for $19 a month they send me a coloring book, a puzzle book of some kind, a fantasy fiction novel (my choice of genre) and a lollipop.  That's how I got into coloring and now into crossword puzzles and I do find they are helping my spelling a lot.  Haven't started the novels yet because I'm not into reading.  No, that's not quite true.  I can't concentrate or get into what I am reading.  Three pages and I put the book down because it's boring....but it's really not.  It's me.   

One problem I've had was getting out.  I was staying in for days on end, even ordering my groceries online.  Then rent time came and I had to get out to the bank.  Hubby, of course. drove me and from there we started our Sunday drives.  Hubby encouraged me to get out for a walk every day as I've not only been putting on weight, but I'm also not able to walk a great distance without getting tired and out of breath.  Too much sitting around.  So now ever morning I go out early, before breakfast, and walk up and down the block.  The heat has been dreadful lately so I've not been getting much walking in.  I go to the corner and back.  I also rejoined WW, but that's something else that holds no interest for me.  

Each Sunday afternoon now  hubby and I take a ride out to the Verrazano, find an empty bench, and spend our afternoon looking out over the water.

 I find so much peace there. 

I have so much more to tell, but that will wait for another day.  Don't want to overwhelm everyone.  So glad to be back amongst friends.