Friday, January 7, 2011

Winds of Fate

 But to every mind there openeth,
A way, and way, and away,
A high soul climbs the highway,
And the low soul gropes the low,
And in between on the misty flats,
The rest drift to and fro.

But to every man there openeth,
A high way and a low,
And every mind decideth,
The way his soul shall go.

One ship sails East,
And another West,
By the self-same winds that blow,
'Tis the set of the sails
And not the gales,
That tells the way we go.

Like the winds of the sea
Are the waves of time,
As we journey along through life,
'Tis the set of the soul,
That determines the goal,
And not the calm or the strife.

--Ella Wheeler Wilcox--

In the above  poem we are told that the set of the sails determines the direction the boat takes.  In other words, the boat is controlled by  outside forces.  What about you?  What about your life?  If your  life is not seem going where you want it to, do you blame circumstances outside yourself?  Do you blame the winds of fate?  Oh gosh, do I know I how that can be.  I spent many years blaming others for my unhappiness.  After all, life had dealt me a raw deal, hadn't it?  My childhood was dysfunctional, and because my parents hadn't allowed me any room for growth, the choices I made in life were nothing but a series of mistakes.  If only, I used to say.   I never even thought that the experiences in my life were necessary learning experiences.  It was easier to feel sorry for myself, that my misery was all the fault of others and the bad choices I had made as a result....

... Bad choices? In this, our voyage through this miracle we call life, we all make some bad choices because none of us not perfect. If we had already reached the stage of perfection, there would be no need to incarnate.  We all make mistakes, without which, we would never be able to learn.  Each of us is here to learn about ourselves, others, and life; for some of us, the road is a hard one, while others may have an easier journey. But this doesn't mean they don't make mistakes.  And it certainly doesn't mean that we are bad people.   Good people sometimes make poor decisions and learn from them  We are ALL good people who have chosen to come to this earth plane in order to learn, and the fact is, we only learn through trial and error. And, if we are afraid to take a risk because we are afraid of making a bad choice, then where is the growth. The sailing metaphor is a great one for telling us about our attitudes. Instead of saying 'I can't', ask yourself 'How can I?'

I'm not talking about life-threatening risks like saying "Okay, I'm going to cross this super highway without stopping because I want to see if I can do it."  No, I am talking about those everyday choices.  Suppose you have been looking for work for a long time, and suddenly you receive, within a few hours of each other, two calls with job offers.  One is close to your home with a higher rate of pay, while the other offers more job security.  So, you jump at the job with the higher rate of pay.  But then, when you discover that the amount of money withdrawn for health insurance  at the job is sky high or you discover that your new co-workers have a little clique and you are not included, you become very unhappy and feel you made a bad choice. Or, perhaps you get into a relationship with a man and a couple months into it, you find out he is not the man you thought he was.  

This happens to all of us, but isn't it much better to,  instead of saying that our choices were bad and dwelling on them, categorize our decision by saying that at the time it was the most practical choice. When we place all of the burden upon ourselves...that we feel we've made the wrong choices in just depletes our self-esteem another level. Life is a mere journey through time that has no definitive destination....and, like the winds of the sea, one ship drives east and another west. And, as the Winds of Fate provide us with the opportunity to move forward and to experience the world as it comes to us, we must accept what we've decided throughout your lifetime. There are no good or bad choices. There are only choices.

Good decisions come from experience, and experience comes from bad decisions.  --Author Unknown

(Update:  My garbage was picked up yesterday.  Finally!!!  And I also heard on the news that two sanitation supervisers from Brooklyn were reassigned.)


  1. In my twenties it was everyone else's fault. In my thirties, well, it's nobodies fault but mine. I have taken back my power and realize that if someone is treating me badly it is because I have given them the idea that is ok...and so on and so forth.

    Have I mastered it? psssht, not even close but I feel as though in the last decade I've learned a lot and I look forward to many more decades of learning.

    Great post Mary.

  2. My whole life has been filled with 'crossroads'. Life is a learning experience. Sometimes wish I had been issued a manual in the beginning. Of course I would probably have ignored it ;^) X.

  3. I think life is a learning experience and also believe in fate or that things were chosen before we came to Earth.. most of the time for me.. life just happens. :)

    I agree with Bogaman.. a life manual would have been good.

  4. I can't remember blaming anyone for my mistakes.
    What I have learned is ...... I am not the only one in this LIFE Boat and I'm not jumping ship. ;0)
    Nice post m/f

  5. Life is a learning experience. I also used to blame others, but now just myself. I try to turn challenges into opportunities, but it's not easy.
    Love that pic of the sailboat.

  6. I always feel I am making bad choices, or just wondering if I made the right choice overall. I feel guilty A LOT.

    Sometimes though I have this feeling that the choice I made was something that I made out of what understanding I had at the time. Perhaps it was the wrong choice, but I needed the experience to understand that. Next time my choice will be different.

  7. Mary...I loved this post you have shared insightful.
    This year has been an earth shattering year for me in the growth area.... a lot of loss....a lot of hurt...and a LOT OF GROWTH!! Seems like the most painful experiences ALWAYS provide for the most growth...hmmmmm don't know why that is? One's ego..I suspect.

    Anyway....thank you for this.