Wednesday Poetry Corner

When the sun comes after rain

And the bird is in the blue,

The girls go down the lane

Two by two.

When the sun comes after shadow

And the singing of the showers,

The girls go up the meadow,

Fair as flowers.

When the eve comes dusky red

And the moon succeeds the sun,

The girls go home to bed

One by one.

And when life draws to its even

And the day of man is past,

They shall all go home to heaven,

Home at last.

--Henry Wadsworth Longfellow--

I played hooky from my job yesterday. It was something I had to do. It's been so cold, dreary, and damp here in the city, and it has definitely been playing havoc on these old bones. It's become so painful just walking back and forth to the subway. My sciatica is still acting up some, I have arthritis in my knees, and to top all that off, I've developed a pain on the top of my  foot that makes walking so uncomfortable.  All this is further enhanced by this weather.  This cold and damp just never seems to end.

When I came home from work on Monday, I already knew I wasn't going in on Tuesday. When I got up in the morning and saw that the rain had stalled I tried, I really did try, but I couldn't do it.  It was later in the afternoon that I realized it wasn't the pain, the rain, or burnout.  I just had to take some time to gather myself together.  As  you all know, I work in a mental health program with drug and alcohol users.  I also work with clients on parole.  I've come across many different people during my  years in this field, but Monday was the 'first' time I came face-to-face with a true sociopath. 


You see them on television shows all the time and wonder how someone can be so devoid of feelings. I won't even repeat the story he told in group. It wouldn't be fair to you. Suffice it to say, it is a picture I cannot get out of my mind.  What was even more upsetting was the fact that he couldn't stop laughing.  To him, the cruelty he spoke about was the funniest thing he ever saw in his life. 


And as I tried to stop him from continuing, he began talking faster and faster in his haste to get the story out.  Several members got up in left the group.  He couldn't fathom what he had done so wrong.  Then, one of the young ladies spoke up about it, he flew out of his chair and tried to egg her on into a physical altercation.  Mind you, he's a 300 pound man and she a 120 pound women.  All staff came running, and we did manage to put a halt to the violence before it began, thank goodness, because he would have killed her, but, the events of the day were still with me yesterday, draining me.  I just wanted to sleep, and sleep is what I did.  I pulled the covers over my head and spent most of the day in bed.  


The rain and the cold and the dampness are still with us today, but I'm feeling pretty much up to par today.  This is the career I chose to work in, and I can't run away from it.  All I can do is regroup as I did yesterday and do my best to help those who really depend on me.  Thanks for letting me share.

Weekly Parable

The Wise Woman's Stone

A wise woman who was traveling in the mountains found a precious stone in a stream.

The next day she met another traveler who was hungry, and the wise woman opened her bag to share her food.  The hungry traveler saw the precious stone and asked the woman to give it to him. She did so without hesitation.

The traveler left rejoicing in his good fortune. He knew the stone was worth enough to give him security for a lifetime. But, a few days later, he came back to return the stone to the wise woman.

"I've been thinking," he said. "I know how valuable this stone is, but I give it back in the hope that you can give me something even more precious. Give me what you have within you that enabled you to give me this stone."

Sometimes it's not the wealth you have but what's inside you that others need.

When we think of giving, we usually think of things external that we have accumulated, but giving does not necessarily mean material items or money. Indeed, one can give to others in many ways. You give when  you show someone you care with  kind word or a smile instead of a frown or when you encourage a friend or family member who is feeling down and out.  It costs nothing to  hold the door for someone or offer to run errands for someone under the weather.  

It was two years ago in winter, that dreadful winter that the snow never seemed to stop, that I walked up the subway stairs and began to cry.  The snow and ice were piled up all around me, and I was so, so frightened of falling. I stood there, tears rolling down my cheeks as everyone brushed past me and continued on their way to wherever they were going, and then she appeared, my guardian angel for the day. This young lady who went out of her way to help me across the icy street two years ago gave me the gift of time.  In a world where no one seems to care anymore, she showed me that all has not been lost, and with that came the gift of hope, a hope that respect and love for fellow man still exist.

"It's not what we give but what we share. For the gift without the giver is bare."   

James Russell Lowell

There is no greater gift than the  gift of self is the best gift. The gift of love and trust, the gift of your time and understanding, the gift of laughter, the gift of self-worth, the gift of forgiveness, the gift of self-esteem, the gift of respect, the gift of acceptance...these are the greatest gifts one can offer to another, and gifts that bless both the giver and the receiver.

A Wish for You on Monday

How beautiful it is to do nothing, and then rest afterward.

Spanish Proverb

Now two of my herbs are sprouting.  Ask me what they are at this point, and I couldn't tell you.  The sprouts of the third herb are just beginning to push through the soil.  I sure do wish I had saved the seed packages so I would know what I am dealing with here.  At any rate, fresh herbs are on their way.  The Sweat Peas are not doing as well.  No signs of any life there.  I was so hoping for lovely flowers.  I did plant the seeds of  Chinese Forget-me-Not's that I had bought on the way home from work the other day.  I'd been told they only grow outdoors, but in a sunny window, who knows.

This was a much-needed weekend of rest and relaxation. I had planned on heading on out to the 99-cent store, but chose instead to stay in my jammies. We're short-handed at work now, and my already heavy workload has added on a few pounds--two extra groups per week. That two hours really cuts down on the time one has for paperwork, and in the past, I'd spend my weekends on the computer playing catch up, but I'll be darned if I do that now. How can one be so foolish than to approve a six week vacation knowing that you are already down two staff members--one who went to another job and another whose school internship was up?

Anyone lucky enough to catch sight of the moon?  Our weather was so dreary and cloudy, I didn't even venture out to catch a glimpse.  I knew there would be nothing to see, but there were other ways to celebrate. It was a night of candles, soft music, and quality time with my cat and my hubby, until he retired to watch boxing.  We spend so little quality  time with each other; instead, each of us is glued to our own televisions, books,  or hobbies whenever we are home.  And quality time spent together is oh, so important in a relationship.

In the early days of our relationship, we used to spend lots of quality time together.  I think he and I must have walked this entire city at one point or another. We were always heading out to different places just to walk and see the sights.  Anyone who saw us would have thought we were tourists.  But then, as we grew older, I guess you can say we became complacent with our lives. Work, our children, chores, all seemed to take precedent. 

Time spent together is special, and although we were both in the same place, our apartment, we were not really 'together'. He'd be in one room in front of the television and I'd be in another either on my computer, reading my Kindle, or watching a Law and Order marathon. Why, we never even eat together anymore. Well, I decided this weekend that enough was enough.  And, although we may not be able to walk as we once did, there is no reason why we cannot enjoy the totality of each other's company...even if only a quiet meal together once a week.  

Well, it turned out wonderfully relaxing.  After a meal of short ribs, rice, beans, and salad, we talked.  There was so much to be shared, so many 'remember when's', forgotten things that had happened long ago.  My only regret was that I had planned to take a short walk under the moon, but, nature had other ideas.  Rain is so needed, so I'll not complain. And, with that, I''ll leave you this morning with a little wish I found online.  

Today I wish you a day of ordinary miracles --

A fresh pot of coffee you didn't make yourself.

An unexpected phone call from an old friend.

Green stoplights on your way to work or shop.

I wish you a day of little things to rejoice in --

The fastest line at the grocery store.

A good sing along song on the radio.

Your keys right where you look.

I wish you a day of happiness and perfection --

Little bite-size pieces of perfection that give you the funny feeling 

That the Lord is smiling on you,

Holding you so gently because you are someone special and rare.

I wish You a day of Peace, Happiness and Joy.

Remember to Make the Time TODAY,

To do something Special for a Total Stranger.

--Unknown--

Friday Quote

"This is the beginning of a new day. You have been given this day to use as you will. You can waste it or use it for good. What you do today is important because you are exchanging a day of your life for it. When tomorrow comes, this day will be gone forever; in its place is something that you have left behind...let it be something good."

Author Unknown

Wishing each and every one of you a fabulous weekend. Be sure to get out there on Saturday and enjoy the super Moon. It's going to be a sight to behold.

The Rose Within

A certain man planted a rose and watered it faithfully and before it blossomed, he examined it.

He saw the bud that would soon blossom, but noticed thorns upon the stem and he thought, "How can any beautiful flower come from a plant burdened with so many sharp thorns?" Saddened by this thought, he neglected to water the rose, and just before it was ready to bloom... it died.

So it is with many people. Within every soul there is a rose. The God-like qualities planted in us at birth, grow amid the thorns of our faults. Many of us look at ourselves and see only the thorns, the defects.

We despair, thinking that nothing good can possibly come from us. We neglect to water the good within us, and eventually it dies. We never realize our potential.

Some people do not see the rose within themselves; someone else must show it to them. One of the greatest gifts a person can possess is to be able to reach past the thorns of another, and find the rose within them.

This is one of the characteristic of love — to look at a person, know their true faults and accepting that person into your life; all while recognizing the nobility in their soul. Help others to realize they can overcome their faults. If we show them the 'rose' within themselves, they will conquer their thorns. Only then will they blossom many times over.

There are a couple counselors here who still maintain that old TC mentality. TC modalities believed in breaking a person down and then building them up again. They found out years ago that this didn't work, but sadly, many counselors still use this method because they enjoy that feeling of power it gives them. Instead, the new method is what they call 'Motivational Interviewing'. When you really look at it, it actually reverts back to Carl Rogers and his 'meeting the client where the client is at'.&Most clients that come to our program are not in very good space when they first arrive.  All their lives they have been beaten down. They are hopeless, broken, and numb.  How does one 'help' by beating them down even further?  

I choose, instead, to look for the 'rose' within themselves instead of focusing on the 'thorns'.  There is no greater joy than in seeing someone's face light up when you offer them compliments.  It doesn't have to be something big.  It can be something something as simple as 'My, but have you noticed how well you are looking now that you are in recovery?  Your complexion is clear and there is a rosy tint to your cheeks.  Your eyes have a twinkle that wasn't there when we first met.  You must be feeling quite well now.'  The smile you get in return can make your day.

When it comes to our friends and loved ones, sometimes we are too quick to focus on the thorns.  Maybe we got up on the wrong side of the bed or we are tired from a hard day's work and pick at what we perceive as their 'fault's and fail to recognize the 'rose' that lies within.  It's at those times that we have to take a step back, breathe deeply, and recognize the wonderful blossoms that have come into our lives.

Dandelions

Welcome children of the Spring,

In your garbs of green and gold,

Lifting up your sun-crowned heads

On the verdant plain and wold.

As a bright and joyous troop

From the breast of earth ye came

Fair and lovely are your cheeks,

With sun-kisses all aflame.

In the dusty streets and lanes,

Where the lowly children play,

There as gentle friends ye smile,

Making brighter life's highway

Dewdrops and the morning sun,

Weave your garments fair and bright,

And we welcome you to-day

As the children of the light.

Children of the earth and sun.

We are slow to understand

All the richness of the gifts

Flowing from our Father's hand.

Were our vision clearer far,

In this sin-dimmed world of ours,

Would we not more thankful be

For the love that sends us flowers?

Welcome, early visitants,

With your sun-crowned golden hair,

With your message to our hearts

Of our Father's loving care.

Frances Ellen Watkins Harper

It's funny how something as simple as a dandelion can set off such vivid childhood memories. Having grown up in the country, they were among the first flowers to appear in the green lawns of early spring. Well, many people view the dandelion as a common lawn pest, but to me, it was and always will be a flower. One of my fondest childhood memories is of picking dandelion bouquets and bounding through the kitchen door with a handful of sunny yellow dandelions, presenting them to my beloved grandmother with a big smile saying, 'For you, grandma', and she never let on that, to her, they were a weed. She always acted like I had presented her with the most special gift in the world.

Did you ever pick dandelions from your yard and make wishes before blowing them apart? Find a white-headed dandelion, make a wish, and then try to blow the seeds off with one breath. If the seeds all leave at one blow, your wish will come true. Otherwise it will not. 


*On a sad note, little Avery died yesterday.  That little girl really touched my heart. When I read the news, I was at work, and I couldn't stop the tears. That angel had been placed here for a reason, and she touched the lives of millions of people. For me, her gift was to stop feeling sorry for myself and live each day to the fullest.  May she dance with the angels.  Rest in peace, dear one.

A Rare Tuesday Rant

In the performance of a good action, we not only benefit ourselves,

but we confer a blessing upon others.

Philip Sydney

It's been awhile since I've had a good rant on here, so I guess it is about time to let off a bit of steam.  I've actually been ready to boil over now for awhile, ever since I began using my cane to help myself get to and from work. My body hurts. I know I've written about respect and the lack of subway etiquette  in the past, but it just never ceases to amaze me that people can be so thoughtless and crude. It used to be common courtesy to give your seat to an elderly, handicapped or pregnant woman, but that is no longer the case

Take Friday, for example.  The train was just pulling in as I reached the subway station in the morning.  When it pulled to a stop and the doors opened, a man brushed past me and went in first, taking the only available seat. Now, I'm standing there on a cane.  You'd think 'someone', especially those young enough to be my grandchildren would give me a seat.  That's a joke.  These high school students get on the train for free, yet not a one of them would offer an older lady with a cane a seat.  Makes you wonder what this world is coming to.  And, things are getting so crazy here on the city, one is afraid to ask someone to give up a seat.  Fistfights have started over silly things such as someone eating on the train. With my fragile health, if someone decides to give me a punch, that's the end of my job.

The previous day I had been lucky enough to get a seat at the next stop, but not because someone decided that courtesy was the best policy.  No, the man who had eyed my cane as I got on the train decided he was going to get his money's worth out of his seat.  Even though he was getting off at the next stop, he wasn't about to give up his seat. Then, when we reached the next stop, a woman boarded the train with her mother, a wee little old woman with deep wrinkles in her face and the whitest hair I ever saw.  

The little lady had to be close to 80, and it was obvious that it was hard for her to stand up with the jerking movements of the train. A young man seated across from me glanced up from his video game, then went right back to playing.  A woman seated next to me who was no older than her early 20's looked up and right at the woman for a moment,  but then buried her head in her book.  Up and down the aisle, people looked and pretended they hadn't seen. Others look and pretend that they don't see. You feel their eyes watching you balancing on your cane while holding the pole, but if you look their way, they immediately avert their eyes.  Probably because they believe if you catch their eye, they will have no choice but to give up their seat.  Well, to make a long story short,  guess who got up to give the lady a seat?  Yep, you got it. 'Twas me, the grandmotherly lady with a cane, and 'still' they didn't seem to get it.  

Don't get me wrong.  There is still some kindness to be found and usually it comes from the middle-aged women who, as soon as they see the cane, jump up and  insist that you take their seat. They are about the only ones who seem to care anymore.  In fact, I was speaking with a woman on the train the other morning.  We were discussing how there is so little respect for the elders anymore.  She asked me if I had ever heard of the   'never give up your seat group.' Is that sick or what? And, what does it say about the direction our world is heading. 

Indeed, I did manage to find some information about this nasty little campaign on the internet, and what I found really sickened me. Here's  a little sample of the way these sick ones think.

(A.) 'Young people are shouldering the burden of the entire society that old people live off of and deserve a few minutes' rest during their commutes.'-- Before you were in diapers, I and others like me were not only putting in a  hard day's work, but also took to the streets to fight for the freedoms you have now. Back then, all you smug young ladies who think you have 'earned' your seat, could only hold jobs as a secretary, a nurse, or a teacher.  These are definitely honorable careers, and I am not putting them down in the least.  What I am saying is that for today's young ladies the sky is the limit.  You can be just about whatever you want...a CEO, an astronaut, a bank executive.  And this is thanks to my generation, us older people who, as you so smugly put it, live off today's society. So, have I 'earned'  my seat?  You bet I have.

(B.) 'They,meaning older people, resent being labled too frail to stand, and don't take the seat you want to give them. -- I think it is actually quite rare that someone feels resentful over someone else showing some simple courtesy. True, the older person may 'not' want a seat, but the decent thing is not assume, but ask.

(C.) 'I work hard all day. I deserve to sit and read my book.'--Well, I've worked hard for 53 years.  I think I deserve a little respect.

(D.) 'Giving up seats is a privilege and purely voluntary. I'm entitled to sit as much as they are.' -- This one got me.  So what if they are old?  When I was your age I respected my elders.  When someone older than me got on the bus or the train, I immediately jumped up and offered my seat.  I didn't even ask.

(E.)  'So what if they are old.  I have pain too.'-- Yes, I understand that young people can have aches and pains just as us oldsters, but you have no idea what it is to live in constant pain, to stand there with searing pain shooting from your lower back right down your leg.

On subway car advertisements, a sign clearly illustrates that offering your seat to a pregnant, elderly, or disabled person is the right thing to do. Then there is the conductor over the loudspeaker, 'If an elderly, handicapped, or pregnant woman is standing near you, give up your seat . Courtesy is contagious, and it starts with you.' Does anyone listen? Sadly, no. Commuters simply just continue to be sleeping or pretending to listen to their MP3 or play games.

It is nothing more or less than kindness to offer your seat to someone elderly or disabled. One day, you will be old as well. It should be a human decency thing, where you rise and relinquish your seat to those who seem to need it most. Honoring our elders should be an important part of community. Thanks for letting me share.