The Beauty of a Woman

The beauty of a woman,

Isn't in the clothes she wears,

The figure that she carries,

Or the way she combs her hair.

The beauty of a woman,

Must be seen from in her eyes,

Because that's the doorway to her heart,

The place where love resides.

The beauty of a woman,

Isn't in a facial mole,

But true beauty in a woman,

Is reflected by her soul.

It's the caring that she cares to give,

The passion that she shows,

And the beauty of a woman,

With passing years,

Only grows.

--Author Unknown--

The other day I was looking over some old posts of mine and found the poem above.  I've always loved the poem and thought it would be nice to share it again.  To me, it says it all.  Sadly, there are many out there who still view the older woman as the hag, the Crone, the one whose days of beauty by society's standard are behind her. I find it here at work.  One of the younger male clients once asked me when I was going to retire, and I told him I  'not for a few years.'  He began to laugh and said, "You'll be the oldest person out there working."   

I came to terms with the aging process years ago, but when this was said in front of others, I felt my face redden.  I guess that, for a moment,  I had been transported back to my childhood when the other children used to taunt me.  Although, knowing him, I am aware that he never meant to hurt my feelings, I found his comment was totally inappropriate and I told him so.  These are the kind of things some of us oldsters run into.  In their limited manner of thinking, old age means wrinkled skin and chronic disease and they cannot  the wisdom, serenity, and self-knowledge that represent the harvest of a long life experience.  She is perceived as being jealous of young beauty.  We see this in the tale of Snow White  and Sleeping Beauty as well as with the Halloween witch.  With images like these, is it any wonder we see women racing to the beauty counter at the first sign of a wrinkle?

Fortunately, the Crone is not always portrayed as a hag, but also as the beautiful Lady of Wisdom, as seen with Sophia. She the wise crone, the grandmother who knows all and passes her knowledge on. The crone was a voice of wisdom, an elder, a healer, a counselor, and a teacher.  One type of beauty replaces another beauty. The elder is valued for her age and makes no apologies for her appearance. She is the traditional crone, the  grandmother aspect of the Goddess, a present-day manifestation of the ancient mother goddess who appears as the Trinity of Maiden , Mother and Crone. 

Menopause is a time of great change in a woman's life. That is why it is referred to as the Change of Life. It can be our time of power with renewed self-confidence, energy, and inner beauty. It brings a new freedom for individuation and insight. Outer beauty is never enough for such beauty fades with time.  Only inner beauty remains...the beauty of the heart...the beauty of the soul.

To enter Cronehood is to experience a true rite of passage. Go within and feel the inner strength that you possess. Acknowledge your wisdom, your love and your beauty. You have earned this respect,  from others as well as  from yourself.   No one will ever honor us more than we honor ourselves.

Update on This Morning's Post

I'm trying to look at this as something that wasn't meant to be, but I have to say, I am so, so disappointed.  I was approved.  Tomorrow I was to pick up the rest of the monies at the bank and complete the process.  The apartment was mine....until an hour ago.  Then, I get the apologetic call that the apartment had already been rented...a week ago.  This after I gleefully told everyone on the job that I had it.   Wondering if this is  really true or did someone else came around that is willing to pay more.  He DID take two of us to see the apartment Saturday.  Makes you wonder what really happened.

So, I guess it's back to the drawing board. Thanks so much to all of you for all your support.

Feast of the Stolen Fire

The beautiful fables of the Greeks, being proper creations of the imagination and not of the fancy, are universal verities. What a range of meanings and what perpetual pertinence has the story of Prometheus!-- Ralph Waldo Emerson, "Essays"

On this day, the ancient Greeks celebrated the 'Feast of the Stolen Fire' in honor of the old Titan god, Prometheus, who stole fire from the gods and presented it to mortals, thus saving the human race. For this, he was bound to a mountain and punished for centuries. Many lamps were lit in his honor on this day. 

Fire is a very powerful symbol, human progress did not begin until we established fire. The gift of fire opened the door to so many things such as  cooking our  food, melting metals, and providing  warmth in the winter. It represents the start of civilization, consciousness, new ideas,  and symbolizes man's development of art and technology with its promise to better our lives, but not without respect for it and the gods.

This was a busy weekend for me.  On Saturday, we were apartment hunting the entire day, and I do believe I may have found the place of my dreams.  Now, I just have to wait for the credit check.  I'm now on pins and needles.  I know I passed the last one, but this is a different kind of place.  It's both condos and regular apartments, and they are gorgeous...and hubby decided that it would be best just putting the lease in my name since he is on unemployment.  That way, they only needed my check stubs.  Big mistake, in my book, but I couldn't talk him out of it.  Not only is there still a stigma about renting to women, except for those who are wealthy, but also I am getting up in age, 3 years from retirement.  I have to wonder if they will look at those things.  I think it would have been best to have two incomes on the application.  Even if one is unemployment, it still beats my one salary. 

At any rate, I'm locked into a move date, which is both good and bad.  It's good because there is no backing down now and bad because, 'what if I don't find a place by then?'  What do I do?  This weekend I spoke with my landlady, and she actually got quite angry that I didn't file a police report the other night.  See, she has been harassing me to call the police on the brothers and get reports every chance I get.  This is all a part of their family feud, and I am just tired of it.  She has no concerns over my welfare and safety...absolutely no concerns that I work some late nights and don't want to have to be looking over my shoulder.  No concerns that hubby has a car which they can easily have one of their cohorts vandalize.  No, it's all about her and this feud which she keeps going.  Wish I knew what started it in the first place because the end seems nowhere in sight.  But soon, it won't be my worry anymore.

I'll be sure to let you know as soon as I hear one way or the other.   Keep your fingers crossed.

Home Should Be a Place of Peace

Weekends are a bit like rainbows; they look good from a distance but disappear when you get up close to them.  --John Shirley

Have a busy weekend lined up.  We've decided to go the real estate route rather than what we have been doing...riding around looking for 'For Rent' signs.  So, this weekend we have appointments to see apartments both on Saturday and on Sunday.  I have to remember to stay focused and keep a clear head about what I want.  Don't want to rush into something just because I am so desperate to get out of here, and now I am more desperate than ever.

Wednesday night we had to call the police.  The two brothers were 'drunk as skunks'.  One was upstairs tearing the house apart.  It sounded like furniture was being tossed across the room.  The other was trying to break down the outside door to get in, and a few times I was sure the door was going to come down.  And, since it was my late night, I'd just gotten home from work and was trying to quietly eat my dinner while watching 'Criminal Minds'.  I began to shake and tears began to well in my eyes.  Hubby dialed '911' and tried to settle me down.  "This is between them.  They're not coming after you."   I know that, but needless to say, I couldn't finish my dinner once all this began.  You work hard all day, you're tired an hungry, and then just as you kick your shoes off to relax, the storm begins...and that's not what a home is about.

Home is a shelter from storms - all sorts of storms. --William J. Bennett

All was quiet by the time the police finally arrived...two hours later.  It was obvious they were both shocked when they discovered what time we had actually called.  Now, that is kind of frightening in itself.  Someone is trying to kick down the door, and takes the '911' operator two hours to report the call.  You'd best believe I reported this. 

I'm going to be 65 in a few months, and I just cannot handle all this stress. I have to get out of there.  Told my landlady last night that this was the clincher.  She was hoping I'd hang for awhile, but, no, I can't sit around waiting for another bomb to fall.  Sooner or later it will take its toll on my health.

So, dear friends, keep your fingers crossed that something turns up for us this weekend.  I'm not going to jump into something, just to have a place to go.  I want something that I will be comfortable in, something that has a good aura about it.  As a loner, I am not interested in what my neighbors are like, but I do want to have a good feeling when I enter the building.

Wishing you all a weekend filled with joy and peace.

Home is the one place in all this world where hearts are sure of each other.  It is the place of confidence.  It is the place where we tear off that mask of guarded and suspicious coldness which the world forces us to wear in self-defense, and where we pour out the unreserved communications of full and confiding hearts.  It is the spot where expressions of tenderness gush out without any sensation of awkwardness and without any dread of ridicule.--Frederick W. Robertson

Woman's Work

Always one more meal to get;
one more train which must be met;
one more hopeless sock to men;
one more invalid to tend;
one more salve for one more knee,
one more visitor to tea;
one more future bruised and scarred;
one more drop of spikenard;
one more problem, one more doubt;
one more mood to be smoothed out;
one more smile and one more kiss—
Ah, but ministry like this
will outlast the radiant sun.
Woman's work is never done.
  
- Fay Inchfawn -

Housework and raising children are jobs that have no end, but who really wants it to end.  Not me.  My sons will always be my babies no matter how old they are, and I will always feel a sense of accomplishment and comfort when my house is clean.  No one can clean it better than me; at least, that's what  I like to tell myself.  It's just so hard for me to delegate jobs that I feel can only be done right by me.  But, this is my choice, and I am lucky to live in an age where I have a choice. 

The Women's Group I run at work is my favorite group; it is also the most difficult.  These women have been beaten down so low, it is hard to instill a sense of empowerment in them.    Convincing them  that they are in control of their lives and that things that happen to them  only happen because they have allowed it, is a big realization.  When a woman becomes empowered, she gains considerable strength and  courage. 

Historically, women have always been viewed as the weaker sex.   In the Middle Ages, a woman's place in society was determined by her husband, father, or brother's standing, and when she lost her male protector, she often lost her identity as well.  Choices for women were very limited.   The noble woman had it much easier than her peasant counterpart.  Her main concern was coordinating the work of her many servants and overseeing the upkeep of the manor.  Her great value was her dowry, and many marriages were founded on economic gain and not to please the lady.  Very few marriages in the medieval times were made because they loved each other, but they were marriages made for gain.  I have to believe it was a terribly unhappy and unfulfilling life. 

The peasant woman, on the other hand,  worked alongside her husband in the fields and for supplemental income would take up other jobs in shops or in nobles' homes as domestic help.  These women often worked in the fields just as hard as the men, but because she lived in a male dominated society,  she earned significantly less than a male counterpart. She was also personally responsible for the maintenance of her household.  Aside from labor, her other  main role was bearing children, and with poor medical care, women often died in childbirth.  Women of the past led difficult, painful lives, and it is not surprising that they had such a short life to live...from twenty to forty.

As a modern woman, I take pride in  my accomplishments and  am truly grateful for all of my life’s blessings, that I live in an age where women, although not equal to men,  have choices in how they want to live their lives.  I also have a loving family and a supportive husband who has always encouraged me to be the best that I can be. I wear many hats... I am a counselor,  a teacher, a  caretaker,  nurse, writer, daughter,  mother, wife, lover and friend. I take pride in everything I do, and I am blessed to live in an age where, although women's work may  never be done, it is done out of love and not because I am forced to do it.

The most common way people give up their power
is by thinking they don't have any.

~ Alice Walker ~

November

"The wild November come at last
Beneath a veil of rain;
The night winds blows its folds aside,
Her face is full of pain.
The latest of her race, she takes
The Autumn's vacant throne:
She has but one short moon to live,
And she must live alone."

-  Richard Henry Stoddard -

November is the ninth month of the old Roman calendar. It takes its name from novem, the Latin word for nine. In today's Gregorian calendar, it is the 11th month of the year. November begins in western tropical astrology with the sun in the sign of Scorpio and ends in the sign of Sagittarius. Today, November is one of the four months of the year that has 30 days...although in days past, the month once had 29 and 31 days. In November the weather begins turning cold and daylight saving time ends.

This is the first month of Winter in the Celtic natural year. The Anglo-Saxon's called this month Blotmonath, which means sacrifice month. This was the month in which they slaughtered their animals for food for the upcoming winter -- and offered animal sacrifices to the gods to protect them throughout the bitter cold season. The Welsh called it Tachwedd (slaughter) and the Irish November was Samhain meaning end of summer. As part of the seasonal calendar, November is the time of the 'Snow Moon' according to Pagan beliefs and the period described as the 'Moon of the Falling Leaves'.

Personally, this is a time of reflection, a time to begin the journey inward, into ourselves. We have confronted our mortality at Samhain, and now we begin to examine what is important in our lives.  And, as Thanksgiving fast approaches, memories of what once was always cross my mind.  When I was a child, it was always a joyous time when the family got together, one of the few times the family got together.  The other was Christmas.  Mom would put the turkey in the oven early in the morn, and grandma would come and help her with all the trimmings. Grandpa and dad would sit in front of the old black and white, and I'd be sent outdoors so I wouldn't be underfoot.  I remember it was so much colder back then.  The trees were bare, the sky gray, and the first few snowflakes would fall from the sky. 

The two gems appropriate for November birthdays as the Topaz and Citrine.  Topaz can be found in many colors, but it is the orange topaz that is the traditional birthstone for November. The name topaz is derived from the Indian Sanskrit word tapas, meaning fire.  It releases tension and balances emotions. Topaz is a symbol of friendship. The name citrine is derived from the French word citron - lemon. Citrine is actually quartz crystal and is yellow to orange in color. It is often mistaken for the orange-yellow topaz which is the more expensive of the two birthstones.  Citrine is a  protective talisman that calms and soothes. Citrine is also said to help one connect with Spirit.

The chrysanthemum is the flower for the month of November. The word chrysanthemum comes from the Greek words chrysos  (gold) and anthhose (flower).  In the Black Forest region of Germany there is a Christian legend about  “The White Chrysanthemum”. One cold and snowy Christmas Eve, a peasant family was sitting down to a meager supper when  heard wailing outside their door . At first they thought perhaps it was the wind but after hearing the sound  repeatedly,  they opened their door to find a beggar standing at the door.  The poor man, who was blue and freezing with cold,  was  brought into their home, wrapped him in blankets, and shared with him their modest meal. To their amazement, the beggar shed his blanket and revealed he had shining white clothing and a halo around his head. e explained that he was the Christ child and left. The next morning, outside the door where he had stood, were two white chrysanthemums.  Even now, on Christmas Eve,  many Germans  bring white chrysanthemums into their homes in the belief they are sheltering the Christ Child.

"Have you ever noticed a tree standing naked against the sky,

How beautiful it is?

All its branches are outlined, and in its nakedness

There is a poem, there is a song.

Every leaf is gone and it is waiting for the spring.

When the spring comes,

it again fills the tree with

The music of many leaves,

Which in due season fall and are blown away.

And this is the way of life."

- Krishnamurti-

The Day After

For those who believe,
No proof is necessary.
For those who don't believe,
No proof is possible.

~ Author Unknown ~

Halloween has come and gone.  Yesterday was a good day.  No, it turned out to be a 'great' day. Actually, I was the only one in any kind of costume, but,  hey, I was happy, and it made the client's happy...and that's what matters. I believe that we 'never' have to give up the fun of childhood., that it can always be found within.  We didn't have the karaoke because my co-worker forgot to bring it, but we did have music so we made up a dance contest and had lots of laughter. 

As usual, no children came to the house.  Children here in the city don't go 'Trick or Treating' at night anymore.  Instead, they go out early afternoon and are snug in their homes before I get out of work.  And, they usually don't go to private houses, either, only the stores.  It breaks my heart that children today  cannot enjoy the childhood delights that we always took for granted.  The world was so much safer back then.

I'm kind of surprised at myself for having such a good time because I was pretty darned tired.  I'd spent most of the night tossing and turning.  We'd gone to look at the apartment one last time and decided it was too small, but he did have another apartment up on the 6th floor that was somewhat larger.  It had a great view.  Could actually see my beloved ocean from my kitchen window.  We decided we were going to accept it, and the super asked for $200 to hold it...because they had already made up the lease on the other apartment for us, and he wanted to make sure we were really intent on taking this one.  We didn't have that kind of money on us, and my bank was closed.  Hubby said he could get it from his account, and I asked the super to wait until the next day.

Seek always for the answers within.

Be not influenced by those around you -

by their thoughts or their words.

~ Eileen Caddy ~

The man was definitely pressuring us, and I didn't like it.  I guess my intuition was kicking in. This is a place that we were going to be locked into for two years.  When we left, we were pretty much sure we were going to take it, and all the way home, hubby and I talked about how 'it is the best deal we can make', 'it's such a great area'.  We even started making plans.  Then, when we went to bed, my mind started racing...'where am I to put this?' and 'how will are clothes all fit in such small closets?'  and 'there's absolutely no storage space, where do I put the Christmas stuff?' and 'what about the bedroom television?' Although the living room was larger and the kitchen had room for the table, the bedroom was smaller.  I tossed and I turned and kept trying to visualize the place when it was furnished...and  over and over again the same things kept popping up.  Where do I put everything?  Suddenly, hubby said, "I think it's too small.  I don't think we should take it."

And I realized then that his mind had been racing just as mine had been, and we decided at 2:30 am that we weren't going to take it.  It's the perfect place for one person, but not for two.  We called the super today to tell him our decision, and I am sure he 'never' wants to hear from us again.  But, the way I look at it is, if you're not lying there awake for joy over something, but instead suffering angst and ruminating about you'll be able to manage things, then it is definitely not for you.  

I just know that the right place is out there waiting for me.  I just have to be patient.  When the time is right, it will be there for me. 


So, tell me about your Halloween/Samhain.  I wasn't able to do much.  My house is in such a disarray right now.  But, just before bed, I dimmed the lights, lit a few candles, and asked my ancestors to show me the way.