Creativity

When I was in my 20's, I wrote plays. I loved writing plays...and actually had a couple of them published. Didn't make any money on it, but it sure was a good feeling to know that I had created something. But my ex-husband was a want-to-be actor who couldn't stand the attention that 'I' was getting and did whatever necessary to sabotage my work...from sitting at the table across from me and singing at the top of his lungs to picking a fight. Eventually, I packed up my typewriter (no computer in those days) and put it away. I am not going to say it didn't hurt...it did...but I had never once thought that I was ever going to make a career out of writing plays...It was giving up something that was my birthright. Creativity is a powerful and deeply spiritual birthright that each of us have been given as a gift; it is a primal desire to express our unique and individual selves.

Well, it wasn't long before I found a new hobby, a new release...Crocheting...Soon, everyone was getting gifts of hats and skarfs. After that, it was making beaded jewelry. Now, this I wanted to start a business with, but it never got off the ground...but I sure did love the feeling of accomplishment I had when a piece was finished. Somewhere along the line I let it go. I guess it was when I decided to go back to school. Here I was raising two young boys, working full-time, and taking classes at night. I was still with my awful ex...so there was little help there. I had to let something go...and that was my creativity. And it was many, many years before I got it back.

Although my husband and I had long since parted, the boys had become men, school was completed long ago, that creative part of my life was still missing and as much as I tried to get it back, I found there were things in life that I could no longer do. Years of typing have left me with carpal tunnel so crocheting was out and my eyesight is not what it once was so the intricate little piecework of beading was out of the question. I resolved myself to letting that part of my life go.

As busy as I might be with full-time work and Druid classes, something seemed to be missing from my life for although the creative fires may have been dampened from life's circumstances up to this point, they were waiting, smoldering, waiting to be rebuilt. And because creativity and wisdom are fraternal twins, tending the creative fires is a wonderful way to ignite and awaken to our wisdom. And there are so many ways to express our creativity. Some of them might surprise you.

It was a little over a month ago when a member of my Yahoo group turned me on to blogging. At first, I thought, "They're nice, but it's not me." And then one day I said, "Well, let me give this a try. Let me see what it is all about." And that was it for me; I have to say I was hooked. One blog turned into five in a short time...Addicted, yes, but, the truth be told, blogging is an expression of our creativity. Our blogs become an extension of us, our wisdom, our creativity.

If you find your lacking that creative part of your life, re-awaken it as I did. Close your eyes and take a few deep breaths. As you inhale say, "I am" and as you exhale say, "creative." Visualize yourself tending a beautiful, vibrant, controlled fire. Enjoy it in whichever way feels good to you. This is YOUR creative fire. What sparks do you feel need to be fanned? What passionate part of it needs to express itself more freely in order to feed your soul?"

Thank you, Sobeit.

Who is going to take care of me?

Serenity...Peace....Quietude. Ah, the elusive time of having nothing to do. Do any of us 'city dwellers' really know what it feels like just to drift along aimlessly with no place to go and nothing to do? I wonder sometimes what it feels like...not to have someone to take care of, but to have someone take care of me.

Today was just an awful, awful day...one of those days that you want to curl up under the covers and sleep away. It was one of those "Murphey's Law" days...the subway was late, and even though I give myself ample time to have at least 30 minutes to unwind before I start work, I walked in just as it was time to run my group...Yahoo mail has been acting up the past several days, and today it was absolutely enough to drive anyone up a wall....And then, there are all these walk in's. Mama Mary will make it all better. Take my word for it, I love having a job that allows me to help others; I couldn't imagine doing anything else with my life...but in taking pride and doing the best I can do in my job, I've opened myself up for a case of burnout.

The Serenity prayer tells us to accept the things we cannot change, the courage to change the things we can, and the wisdom to know the difference. Well, I have to accept that this is my chosen career, and I really wouldn't want to be doing anything else with my life, but is there something I could change? There is...and I can. I tell my clients that the first step in recovery is to surrender to their Higher Power. Well, the first step in MY recovery is to surrender to my tiredness. This a tough one for me; actually, I think that is a tough one for most of us. That is not how we have been trained to act. We keep going and going thinking we can do it all...just like that little "ever ready battery bunnie"...until we find ourselves just plain bone-weary.

To nourish our souls and our bodies, we need to surrender to tiredness before it become exhaustion. I am pretty close to that mark right now. I know better than to allow myself to get this far along, but sometimes it is just hard for me to say, "I am allowed to rest." I've taken care of others for so long (husband, children clients) , I find it hard to take care of me. iIt's time for me to sit, rest, and replenish. Surrendering to tiredness is not easy, but you must give yourself that permission. I know tonight, right now, I am giving myself that 'permission' right now to rest and replenish in the perfect right way for me...a good meal, a good television show (Criminal Minds one of my favs), some meditation, and sleep. Find the way that's right for you, and do it. Only YOU can take care of you.

7th Moon of the Zodiacal Year

The appearance of the Crescent New Moon on the 19th marked the beginning of a special ten day/nine night period in which the world is recreated, a tradition which is shared by the Cherokee, the Jewish people, the Hindus, and by those who follow the Greek mystery school. Spiritual union is celebrated at this time. The New Moon which appears closest to the Autumn Equinox begins what is called the 7th Moon cycle of the zodiacal year. The Cherokee call this the "Great Moon" or "Big Medicine Moon". At this time, Cherokee women dance from the time the New Moon crescent first appears until the moon sets, and will continue for several evenings. The Cherokee believe that ,with this dance, the energies of the new time are grounded and embodied; the world has been reborn.

The shadow of the past cycle will generally begin to show itself in those days that fall just before the New Moon appears. All that is doubtful, fearful, and discordant crowds the dawn of every new time. This is even more true this year because there is a convergence of several cycles. The more there is awareness of the personal and the world shadow, the more spiritual power that is invoked for transformation, healing and renewal.

The blowing of a Shofar, a ram's horn, announces the beginning of the Jewish New Year, Rosh Hashanah. The Shofar is blown when the New Moon crescent appears. I live in a Jewish neighborhood, and here a whistle is blown to mark sundown. You can feel the excitement build when that whistle goes off. Rosh Hashanah begins the 10 High Holy Days known as the Days of Awe. Because the New Moon's appearance may vary with location, this year's festival began on the evening of September 18th.

At the sighting of the New Moon, while Cherokee women begin their dance, initiates gather at Eleusis to receive the Mysteries, and Kali enters into homes to consume the past year's discord. Revelation, awakening, and spiritual renewal come through the nine nights and ten days that follow...culminating on the 10th day when Hindu tradition says that the Goddess Kali slayed the demon bull...a symbol of our individual and group shadows.

These ten days and nine nights bring us many opportunities for realizing our hopes and our dreams. The way is cleared through celebration, meditation, and prayers. The more we can attune and listen to our hearts, the more core issues we will be able to resolve and the more empowered we become to recreate our world.

Candle Magick

I love candles. I have candles in every room of my home...in every color, every size, and every scent. At Christmas I have pine scents, apples and cinnimon, and Christmas cookie candles. As a matter a fact, I stock up on both the apples and cinnimon and Christmas cookie candles to burn in my kitchen year round so my kitchen usually smells like cider mulling on the stove or cookies baking in the oven. My mother-in-law, a woman well-versed in many of the old ways in the Dominican Republic, hated candles. She had been taught that both candles and incense drew evil spirits into the house, so, out of respect, I would hide all my candles whenever she came to visit. My husband also believes as his mom did...although he will never admit it. He, too, hates candles, but he says they either give off too much heat, stink, or make the room smokey. So, out of respect to him, I only light my candles when he is not home...except for my kitchen candles. That is my room. Fortunately, I never let them sway me.

Different colors of candles represent different things. For example, if you want to use a spell to gain money, you would choose a green candle. Why? That's easy...green represents money. If you want love, use a pink candle. Lust? Use a red candle. Try the following basic spell. Take the candle and make seven notches in it, all equally apart. Dress the candle by rubbing virgin olive oil from top to bottom. Now, place the candle in a strudy candle holder (preferably a metal one). and light it. Concentrate on your tak while the candle burns down to the first notch. Burn the candle each night to the next notch until it has completely burned out. You can find out which color you want by checking out the correspondence chart listed on some of the Wiccan websites. A few examples follow:

White: Truth, purity
Orange: Attraction, stimulation
Purple: Power, ambition
Greenish yellow: Jealousy, anger, discord
Red: Health, sex, strength
Pink: Love, honor
Light Blue: Tranquility, patience, health
Dark Blue: Depression, changeability
Green: Money, fertility

Candle spells can be very easy or very complicated depending on how much time you have to put into a ritual. A spell can be as simple as lighting a green candle and chanting...money, money, money. You can also write out what you want to work with in a rhyme and burn it after saying it like an incantation. Keep any ashes and wax and make into a ball to use as a Talisman or keep in a spell box in case you decide to reverse the spell.

, Healing Candle Spell

You will need seven candles for this one. One white for the Lady, one yellow for the Lord, one orange for encouragement and attraction, one for yourself according to your astral color, and three red candles for strength and helth. You can also burn some incense if you lie, First, light the Lord and Lady cancles, then the incense. Sit quietly for a few moments and think of the goodness and health coming into you. Now, light the petitioner's candle and picture the person and say:

Here is _____________in excellent health.

Blessings from the Lord and Lady be upon him.

Next, light the orange candle and say:

This flame draws all that is good to ______________

It draws health and strength and all he desires.

Now, light the three red candles saying:

Here is to health and strength three fold.

Take into ____________to serve and build him as the Lord and Lady would wish.

Sit and meditate on the good health you desire. Extinguish the candles. Repeat this every Friday for 7 days, each time moving the red candles closer to the petitioner's candle. On the 7th Friday, they should be touching the petitioner's candle.

Autumn Goddess

In the Autumn when the Goddess wears leaves of
Gold, Rust, and Crimson,

I think most particularly of home, hot soup,
cider and fresh bread.

This is the nesting urge that Mother Nature Hecate has
imprinted in our breasts.

This is the longing to have our loved ones close
at hand and safe beneath our roof.

September the sweet month with lingering
summer days and deliciously cool evenings,

October the holy month with the dark night of
Samhain approaching in mystery,

November the transitional month with another
change of season coming our way,

These are the trappings of Autumn, of Mother
Hecate's joyous feast before winter's sleep.

I love Autumn--the Cronehood of the
year

Her perfume is wood mulch and burnt leaves

Her cloak is a tapestry of mums, orange and
black pansies and the last rose of the season,

She is initiated into the ancient wisdom by
Mother Hecate and grows white-headed under
winter's mantel before our eyes.

author unknown

The Mummer's Dance by Loreena McKennitt

Have to say this is my favorite song. I just sit and listen to it over and over again...love it so much. I was having quite a time reading a debate as to whether or not this is a pagan song. So, here are the words. What do you think?

When in the springtime of the year
When the trees are crowned with leaves
When the ash and oak, and the birch and yew
Are dressed in ribbons fair

When owls call the breathless moon
in the blue veil of the night
When shadows of the trees appear
amidst the lanterns light.

We've been rambling all the night
and sometime of this day
Now returning back again
we bring a garland gay.

Who will go down to those shady groves
and summon the shadows there
And tie a ribbon on those sheltering arms
in the springtime of the year.

The sounds of birds seem to fill the wood
and when the fiddler plays
All their voices can be heard
long past their woodland days.

We've been rambling all the night
and sometime of this day
Now returning back again
we bring a garland gay.

And so they linked their hands and danced
'round in circles and in rows
And so the journey of the night descends
when all the shades are gone.

A garland gay we bring you here
And at your door we stand
Here's a sprout, well budded out
The work of our Lord's hand.

We've been rambling all the night
and sometime of this day
Now returning back again
we bring a garland gay.

Enjoy and sing along if you want.

Riding the Coaster

Okay, so here I am...one day after I said that I would be taking a break from this blog....here I am posting again. I just can't stay away. This is the only one of my blogs where I am me...where I can really express my thoughts and feelings. And, as of this moment, my life is much like the photo above--a roller coaster. I feel darned if I do, and darned if I don't. I am sure you know what I mean; we've all had those times in our lives. I feel as if I have reached a 'fork in the road' but am unable to choose in which direction to go--spiritually, emotionally, and physically.

Well, there's not much I can do about the physical direction. I've almost accepted that pain will be a daily part of my life. For those that don't know me, I suffer from fibromyaligia and arthritis in the back which stems from an old injury. I guess I am lucky because, up to this point, I haven't had to rely on medication...only an occasional Motrin. But, it seems to be getting worse lately ... and that is adding to my 'emotional' instability right now.

It is only natural to feel, at times, depressed when you have to deal with pain on a daily basis. And, I am not really depressed...not the truly mental health kind of depressed where I cannot get up in the morning. I am just feeling sad....sad that I am unappreciated and over-worked on my job...but is that the truth? Or is it just a feeling? I DO know that a lot of responsibility is piled on me at work and sometimes I just don't want to deal with it. Like today. This is why I am sitting here writing on this blog and not doing my work.

Spiritually? I am at peace that I have finally found my path....it took me long enough. What displeases me is that I found it at a time in my life where I cannot wholly participate in it. Because of my fibro, I don't get out much anymore...only to go to work. I would love to participate in a Druid ritual...a ritual...in a grove...at night with the Moon shining down on me. Oh, that is my dream.

Enough whining for today. So, what am I going to do with this blog? I'd like to thank my friend, Sobeit, for her suggestions on some good books. Payday is Friday so I 'will' be looking into them. I'm also thinking of just posting some odds and ends...maybe some Mabon stuff...rituals, things to do, recipes. Maybe even some book reviews. There's really lots I can do here. Just have to put it all together. Thanks for listening.