Thursday, April 7, 2011

Thank You

When we are no longer able to change a situation,
we are challenged to change ourselves.
- Viktor Frankl...from Man's Search For Meaning -

 Just wanted to thank everyone for their comments yesterday; yes, even  those who used some tough love because I needed it.  I do appreciate all of your concern.  I had really debated posting about  what was going on because I didn't want to lay my problems on you, and also because there is that part of me who has to appear strong.  I guess that comes from never really being allowed to be a child because from a young age I had to take care of myself.  Then, after  years of abusive relationships I developed an independence that makes it hard for me to admit any of my weaknesses.  I guess what I am trying to say is that it took a lot for me to finally open up and share this with you all.

Yes, it has been very frustrating at work lately, and yes, I still have that tendency to still be that very people-pleaser that I thought I had left behind; I do take on more than my share perhaps because it is very hard for me to admit that I can't do like I used to.  I've decided that my first step next week will be to sit down with my Clinical Supervisor next week and explain exactly how I have been feeling in a way that she understands,  and if I can't get through to her, then I guess it will be time to go over her head.  I think a lot of my frustration, too, stems from the new paperwork rules of our funding sources.   It seems that just about every discharge or treatment plan I do is returned for some petty little changes. That has been  happening to all of us, not just me, but to redo your work several times for trivial little things is so darned frustrating.  I've always been taught that client treatment comes first, but lately the paperwork has become more important than the client. It has become overwhelming, and it also makes one feel incompetent when their work is always returned...even though you know that you are not. 

So thank you all for your words of wisdom.  Just getting all that gook out  of my system was helpful.  I learned a long time ago that stuffing things always ends up biting back at you in the long run. I guess why that's why they say that the counselor needs a therapist.  Spending so much time with other people's negative energies, somehow blurs your boundaries and you somehow lose sight of who you are. 

This weekend I do plan on getting out and getting some fresh air into my system and hopefully begin working on my herb garden.  I know that getting out and working with nature will do me a world of good  It always has  When I thought I was going to lose hubby to lose hubby 19 years ago, it was in nature that I found my serenity.  On weekends, I have a tendency  to lock myself up like a hermit, and although I do love my solitude, I do know that one also has to connect with the world as well.  When I spend too much time alone, solitude is no longer beneficial. 

If you think your whole life is going wrong
just because so much of it is going wrong,
then you're wrong.
Mostly when things go wrong,
they're meant to go wrong,
so we can outgrow what we have to outgrow.

- Author Unknown -


  1. (((hugs))) going out to you Mary.
    We' re here....anytime you need us.
    We all need uplifting every once in awhile.
    Even us ones that think we are STRONG!

  2. Yes, lots of good advice in yesterday's comments! And it all boils down to: take care of yourself, dear Mary!

  3. Good morning sweet lady.....looks like the clouds have parted a little....and the sun is beginning to shine through.

    Have a beautiful day,


  4. Good thing you have all of us Mouthy McMoutherstein readers : )

    We heart you though, we nag with love.

  5. good luck with it all ♥..i had to go and read yesterdays post and i can understand how you feel. You and I are a lot alike when it comes to work ethics and wanting to please everybody...i quit my Job after 10years because i was totally burned out, but i was also lucky that i don't live in a expensive area and with just some adjustments and cutbacks in our expenses i was able to do that. Not everybody is in that boat...i hope you manage to change some things at work.

  6. my childhood was the same.. the unmothered mother is what I am.. I have been having counselling for it the past months. learning about the little girl who still hurts...and loving her.. xoxo

  7. Gentle hugs, Mary. We want you to be happier....

  8. I am glad that you are feeling better. But you still need to be thinking about taking better care of yourself. It is NOT your problem if they don't have someone to cover you when you call out, that would be managements problem. If they don't have someone to cover, then I guess they will have to roll up their sleeves and get a little dirty. Maybe if they had to do that a few times, they would figure it out on your co-workers. I hope that you are enjoying the weekend and the weather.