Backstabbers...a Bit of a Rant...Sorry

Got back from my walk yesterday and laid down for most of the afternoon. (Chuckle)  How long it has been since I had any meaningful exercise! I felt good though.  Now, if I can just find a way to fit more walks into my schedule. Actually, I am planning another walk today...albeit a shorter one.  I forgot a few items yesterday, and was going to ask my son to go to CVS for me, but heck, it's another lovely day, so why not go myself. 

As I was lying in bed, I was thinking that my vacation is almost over , and  I don't WANT to go back to work.  I REALLY do not want to go back, and that is so sad because there was a time when I used to look forward to going back after vacation.  Don't give me wrong, I love my clients and absolutely LOVE what I do, but some of the policies at the workplace are not conducive to client nor staff and create an atmosphere where clients feel that THEY are in control of staff, a lack of boundaries which makes it difficult to accomplish any meaningful goals.  But, it is more than that; my son actually brought it to light yesterday when he spoke to me about his own job.


He's back from his trip to Michigan, and last night was his first day back to work.  Like me, this was a place he really loved working and never missed a day in three years...quite an accomplishment, but it seems that once his supervisor left, things there have been changing, and he was really dreading his return.  "Mommy," he said, "they're such backstabbers.  They smile in your face and talk rubbish about you behind your back."  And there it was in a nutshell...backstabbers, gossipers..."If they are gossiping about everyone else, what must they be saying about me?"  That is something I've thought to myself many times.  Why is it like that?  And are all offices like that, or do I just happen to choose those offices where jealousies and office gossip run rampant?  

(What they do!)
(They smile in your face)
All the time they want to take your place
The back stabbers (back stabbers)
(They smile in your face)
All the time they want to take your place
The back stabbers (back stabbers)

Backstabbing has many levels, all the way from kids on the playground  to those who work at the corporate level where virtual backstabbing is almost as much of a fine art as plunging a real knife in the back of an unsuspecting co-worker.  In fact, backstabbing at the office is a real issue nowadays and happens more often than not.  Oh, there was always the gossiper at work, but now it seems like EVERYONE gets involved.  Myself, I choose to stay away from it as much as possible; in fact, I usually have my lunch at my desk, and if pressured to go to the lunchroom, I make up a story that I am waiting for an important phone call from hubby or my son, and since they all know I don't have a cell phone, it usually works....and it's not a lie, altogether.  Actually, I never know when one of them might call.  It's just so much more relaxing to put my headphones on and listen to some Celtic music than hearing six grown women gang up on one unsuspecting co-worker. But sometimes, it can be so hard to avoid.  Take the following, for example.

I get up to go to the ladies' room.  As I pass the nurse's door, she sees me and calls me in.  Now, I respond only because she is the nurse, and it could be work related, having something to do with one of my clients, but then she smiles and says, "Close the door", and immediately I know what is coming...."have you heard what so and so did?" and proceed to tell me all about something that is none of my business knowing...and it is not just her.  On Thursdays, a co-worker and I leave work at the same time, and both head to Brooklyn.  She is pretty easy to handle, though; as soon as she starts, I change the subject, and she gets the picture. Even my bosses have been known to participate in the office chatter.

I am tired of being asked, "She took off again?  Why?"  How do I know.  I am not my office mate's keeper....or, "He is late all the time, and nothing is ever done about it."  Yes, it irks me, too, but it doesn't help to gossip about it.  "She's going on another vacation?  How many vacations does she get a year?"  The same as you and I...only difference is, she takes them, we don't 

Unfortunately, gossip always has been and always will be a part of office life. It is only natural what we humans take an interest in one another; it is a part of human nature. Gossip is only harmful when friendly interest becomes nasty, intrusive, malicious and speculative, and there are many reasons why people gossip. Some people enjoy the attention that being constantly “in the know” brings them (the nurse) while others revel in the pleasure that having the latest juicy morsel brings them. Some people do not mean to gossip, they just get caught up in it (our office manager).  Some gossipers are verbal bullies (my office mate) while some gossip just because everyone else gossips about them (my subway companion).

Like I said, I know if they are talking about everyone else, they MUST be talking about me as well...so what I do with office gossip is to ignore it.  I don't get involved unless I am cornered, and when I am, I do my best to change the subject...thereby alerting them that I don't want to hear it. If they persist, I just excuse myself and tell them I am overwhelmed with work and must get on with it. No one at work knows any of my personal business, so there is nothing for them to take and run with.  I don't socialize outside of office hours.  Office gossip is something that cannot be eliminated, and I try hard not to let it make me feel uncomfortable, but I know how my son is feeling right know.  It makes you not want to go back, but the fact is, it's a part of life, and one we have to live with whether we want to or not.  We just have to avoid and ignore it.

I wish they'd take some of these knives off my back
(They smile in your face)
All the time they want to take your place
The back stabbers (back stabbers)
Low down... dirty...
(What they do!)
(They smile in your face)
Smiling faces... smiling faces sometimes tell lies (Back stabbers)
(They smile in your face)
I don't need... low down, dirty bastards (Back stabbers)