Letting Go of Fear

Gosh, what a reprieve! I had an appointment this afternoon at the dentist to have my wisdom tooth removed , but the dentist had a personal emergency, and my appointment is cancelled. This is the second week in a row that it has been cancelled on the dentist's end...and because I see things like this as omens....I am feeling it was just not meant to be...not at this time...not just before Thanksgiving. I know it will have to be done, but it doesn't ache and can wait until after the holiday.

I am a firm believer that everything happens for a reason. I've a precision partial being made to replace the one I have. When I say precision, it is truly precision. There are hooks in the back, no wires, and no one knows I have one. They look exactly like your own teeth, but they do not last so long. One wrong bite and that's it....cannot be repaired like a regular partial. Unfortunately, many years ago my jaw was broken in an auto accident, and the hospital that wired my jaw used wires too large and cracked several teeth...Top that with a union dentist who got hold of me about 30 years ago and botched up root canals and pulled teeth which didn't have to be pulled which is bad on its own, but top that with breaking them off and leaving roots which had to be removed almost 30 years later. So you see, not even half of my top teeth are mine and being that this is precision it not only takes lots of time and visits, but also, if even ONE tooth is removed, it may not stay in...thereby ruining my Thanksgiving. This is only a scenerio, mind you, but when you factor in that the unexpected happened two weeks in a row, there must be a reason.

Needless to say, my teeth are actually not what I really planned on talking about today, but they do factor in to the subject--fear---for try as I may, I have never been able to go to the dentist and act in a dignified manner. Actually, it starts before I even get there--the tears, the trembling body---I revert back to a small child when I go to the dentist....and knowing that I am going to have a tooth extracted? Oh, gosh, the fear starts the night before. So last night when I got home from work I went looking for a meditation or ritual to help me through the day, and I would like to share a meditation I found in one of my old, old books.

Letting Go of Fear

Picture yourself floating peacefully down a gentle stream. All you need do is to breath, relax, and go with the flow.

Suddenly, you become conscious of your situation. Frightened, overwhelmed with 'what if's' your body tenses. You begin to thrash around, franticlly looking for something to grab onto.

You panic so hard that you start to go under. Then you remember--you're working too hard at this. You don't need to panic. All you need to do is breathe, relax, and go with the flow. You won't drown.

Panic is our great enemy.

We don't need to become desperate. If overwhelming problems appear in our life, we need to stop struggling. We can tread water for a bit, until our equilibrium returns. Then we can go back to flowating peacefully down the gentle stream. It is our stream. It is a safe stream. Our course has been charted. All is well.

Today I will relax, breathe, and go with the flow.

(From "The Language of Letting Go" by Melody Beattie C 1990, Hazelden Foundation)