Monday, August 6, 2012

Monday This and That

“The world rests in the night. Trees, mountains, fields, and faces are released from the prison of shape and the burden of exposure. Each thing creeps back into its own nature within the shelter of the dark. Darkness is the ancient womb. Nighttime is womb- time. Our souls come out to play. The darkness absolves everything; the struggle for identity and impression falls away. We rest in the night.” 
― John O'Donohue, Anam Cara: A Book of Celtic Wisdom --

Whew!!! What a busy weekend I had. Saturday morn I rose early and went food shopping, then came back and cooked it all. I'm finding that with two separate meals to cook, it's taking me about five hours. I really didn't want to put the oven on because it was already hot enough, but if I didn't want to be cooking into the night, that was the only way to go. My pork chops on Saturday turned out so outrageously good. I had to check twice to make sure I hadn't taken hubby's by mistake. And they were so easy to make with not many ingredients.

I used some green, red, yellow, and orange peppers, onion, lots and lots of fresh garlic, Mrs. Dash's Extra Spicy, and some Italian seasonings.  After browning some sugar (makes a nice brown gravy) I sauteed the pork chops with the veggies, then added a wee bit of salt free tomato sauce, a little water, and the spices, then let them simmer until the pork chops were done and the seasonings melded together. Went well with a roasted sweet potato and a nice tossed salad.  
Speaking of the heat, enough is enough. When is this going to end?  I'm tired of arriving at work feeling as if I just jumped out of the shower.  And hubby has been having a heard time with it.  He has emphysema and has trouble breathing when the air is so hot and heavy.  I've told him to stay in, but it's hard for him to stay put.  He is so used to being on the go, but at this time, a new job is out.  He will be undergoing a new treatment for his liver, and it is going to make him pretty sick.  I am praying this treatment works.

For those who may not know, hubby was in a car accident many years ago and had to receive a blood transfusion.  Who knew that what saved his life then may have signed his death warrant now!  We found out about four years ago that the blood he received contained Hepatitis C, and it had already reached Stage 3.  After injecting a weekly series of painful shots in his stomach every Friday, which left him sickly and weak so that he had to lie in bed all day sick on Saturday, we found that the medicine didn't work.  The doctor feels it is because hubby continued to work and was under a lot of stress.

Since that time, hubby has been on a medication that doesn't fight the disease, but slows it down. He also takes Thisilyn, a liver support formula composed of milk thistle, something I have had him on for years, and we have pretty much credited this for helping to keep him stable.  Hubby has also been diagnosed with emphysema, glaucoma, and now it appears that his kidneys are acting up.  The doctor didn't like the results of his latest bloodwork, so he has ordered more.  And through it all, hubby remains such a 'trooper'. He accepted the human life cycle many years ago and has no regrets. It is I who live in denial.

Hold on to what is good,
Even if it's a handful of earth.
Hold on to what you believe,
Even if it's a tree that stands by itself.
Hold on to what you must do,
Even if it's a long way from here.
Hold on to your life,
Even if it's easier to let go.
Hold on to my hand,
Even if someday I'll be gone away from you. 

A Pueblo Indian Prayer

Such a beautiful poem, isn't it?  It always makes me cry.

Are  you ready for a little rant?  Just a small one, I promise.  It has to do with the governmental systems that we deal with. Now, to lay down the basis for my rant.  As you know, I work with mentally ill substance abusers.  Don't get me wrong about what I am going to say.  This does not concern 'all' clients for many are genuinely in need of help, but those some who have been through the system many times.  Many of them have never worked, nor do they ever care to work.  "Let the government take care of me" is their motto.  The issue here is, those I am speaking of HAVE NO mental illness. They've received social security solely because they know exactly what to say and how to play the system. I've a client now who's only job in life was that of a 'drug dealer' yet he gets a little over a thousand per month from the government.  

Now, here is my rant.  Hubby, who has worked all of his life, was recently turned down.  Now he is collecting unemployment, but that will run out in December, so he applied for social security disability.  He was told he is 'not sick enough' that there are jobs he can do. Here is a man with Stage 3 Hep C, emphysema, glaucoma, and now kidney problems who is not sick enough, but a 22 year old drug dealer with not a darned thing wrong with him, is.  Where is the fairness in this?  Of course, hubby has obtained a lawyer and is going for a fair hearing, but why should he have to deal with this?  Hasn't he paid his dues? 

Thanks for letting me share. 


  1. That is just awful. I've heard ss disability is difficult to get, but hopefully the lawyer will take care of it. I don't see how anyone could deny that your husband needs it!

  2. Ahemmmm... Again I have to point out... Those free loaders, who know the System and abuse it.... The "Welfare Generation"... Don't work, and let Government take care of them.

    And this Admin. panders to the "Welfare Generation", to get votes.

    And those-who-work, pay the taxes, which pay for it. Does ANYONE think it is free??? People who have worked all their lives, are paying the taxes, which Gov. can dole out to the lazy, to get votes.

    Damn, damn, damn, damn, damn...


  3. I'm glad you have a place to rant here as your situation would make anyone frustrated and extremely angry. There is no fairness in it all and you and hubby are doing the best you can. I hope you find a good lawyer who can be your husband's champion. Sending blessings of healing to your hubby and you for all things.

  4. And amen! It angers me to see so many on disability who should not be, and yet my mentally ill daughter was denied twice before we hired an attorney. She finally got it nearly two years ago and is up for review this year, which makes me nervous, because I'm afraid they'll tell her she could work and stop the disability. She has been good about going to mental health appointments and taking meds, but still is in no shape to work. I hope your husband's attorney is successful!

  5. We hired an attorney after my mentally ill daughter was denied twice, and got it. But what a roller coaster it was, and she's up for review this year. I see people here who apparently had no difficulty getting disability because they know how to manipulate the system. It's a crime that people like my daughter and your husband can't get help when they need it so badly and have contributed to SS all their working lives. Good luck to you.

  6. I am so sorry to hear this news about your husband. My heart goes out to you. You guys will be in my prayers.



  7. Oh Mary.... it's not fair. My heart goes out to you and hubby. (((hugs)))Pat