Thursday, September 4, 2014

You Can Bring a Horse to Water but you can't Make him Drink

The only real mistake is the one from which we learn nothing. 

John Powell

I am fit to be tied right about now. You all know the story of my god daughter and the abusive man she had living with her.   Well, at the present time he's sitting in jail, and hopefully he will be there for a good long while.  Turns out that not only was he physically and emotionally abusing my niece, but he was also sexually molesting her 9 year old daughter.  A real sicko he was. Hope he rots in prison.  And one could only hope that after a string of bad relationships, with this one being the worst, my niece would learn her lesson.

So, in the past two months since she turned him into the police, I've spent a lot of time talking to her and trying to help her build her self-esteem.  One thing I have stressed over and over again was the importance of spending some time alone, without a man, that she needed  time to heal before jumping back in the game. The healing process should never be rushed.  She should take all the time she needs.  Having been raised by a cold, unloving mother, and no father in the picture,  she attracts the same type of brutal, abusive men over and over again.  I suggested that it might be a good idea for her to seek out some professional  counseling for herself and especially for her daughter.   To jump into a new romantic relations right away means that she is not working through the things that have happened. 

Well, she 'yessed' me to death.  " Don't worry. I'm taking time," she says.

"So why do I see this budding relationship on Facebook?" I ask.  

"Oh, I am not in a relationship with him.  I know better. He knows I need time to heal.  He is just a friend."   

"Where did you meet him?" I ask.   

Her response, "on Facebook."  ON FACEBOOK.  She met her last man on Facebook. Has she learned nothing?

Obviously she hasn't, because despite all her denials, I checked out her  Facebook page last night and  the first thing I see is this man posing with all her children.  Her comment.  "I love this man.  He opens doors for me, he's good with my kids, and he goes to Church every Sunday. Never been happier in my life."  My gosh, it hasn't even been two months yet.  Doesn't she realize that it is only natural that a man is on his  best behavior in the beginning?   I'm not saying that there aren't good men out there, but given her track record, I'd be willing to bet this isn't the one. 

I can't quite put my finger on it, but there  is something about this man that is not kosher. He gives me the shivers when I look at him.   For several weeks now, I have checked out his homepage, and he has been professing his love for her.  Now suddenly, his home page has become ultra private.  Of course, that is not reason enough to dislike him, but my intuition is telling me that I'd best keep close watch on things.  I don't want that little girl getting hurt again.

So for now I remain silent and watch.  Fortunately, my niece is very open and not shy about telling all on Facebook so if anything should happen, I'll know.  And this is a promise I make right now.  If I get any inkling that that child, or any of her other children, are being hurt, I will be the first one to turn her in. 

Thanks for listening.

1 comment:

  1. Oh dear, oh dear. What a situation. That poor little girl . . . .