Wednesday, July 17, 2013

Letting Go

I dialed a number and got the following recording, 'I am not available right now, but thank you for caring enough to call. I am making some changes in my life. Please leave a message after the beep. If I do not return your call, you are one of the changes.' 


I love the above quote.  It's exactly where I am at right now....or, should I say,  exactly where I should be.  Because I am not there...yet.  I'm having a hard time letting go.  On Monday I couldn't make it to the afternoon without contacting everyone at work.  I just HAD to let them all know about my new smart phone.  After all, my obsolete flip top was such a joke.  But, I realized afterwards that that was just an excuse.  The truth is, I have not been able to let go yet. As I sat alone in my apartment, I was missing the companionship of my co-workers.

I guess this is something to be expected.  Transitions from  one life phase to another are never easy, and the journey from career to retirement is one of life's great transitions. After 50 years in the workforce, I wake with nowhere to go. It in itself is a great feeling, but, alas, I am also feeling a bit lonely. My co-workers were important to me in my work life. I interacted with them on a daily basis. They were a part of my network; in fact, they were my ONLY network.  And, that, my friends, is exactly where the problem comes in. They were not my friends, they were my peers, but they were there, and I was not so alone when I had them.

Retirement was something that I wanted, something that I needed, and I know I made the right decision. I know how I want to spend my time.  I have a long list of things I want to do. But, right now I am in limbo, standing between one world and the next. I've decided to wait to begin my classes until all these medical procedures are out of the way because, at this point, they are dominating my life.  But, soon, very soon, I will move on.  And, as I move on in life, I hope to meet some new people, only they will not be my peers, they will be my friends.

“Letting go means to come to the realization that some people are a part of your history but not a part of your destiny.”

Steve Maraboli


  1. Mary, just give yourself time. I always have a very hard time transitioning, but I grew to realize this and allow myself time. Pretty soon you will find new friends through activities you will now have the time to be involved in! I believe that friends are the key to settling into a new community and/or a new lifestyle. Since you didn't actually have time to truly settle into your community as your job and job friends were your community, it's as if you have just moved into a new place, and so you should allow yourself time to settle. I have lived here over 2 years and I am now just beginning to feel truly settled, mostly due to connections to others.

  2. A life change, is not made, in one day. Or probably, in one week. :-)

    Hope you can keep your eyes on all the perks of your new life. And bump-out the I-am-missing parts.

    And remember how irritated those co-workers, and yes, many clients too, used to make you...

    Who is irritated and grumpy herself, today...

  3. Mary, it will just take time to adjust. It's only been three days and you need to just let this transition time embrace you. You will find whole new worlds of things to do and see, new friends. Give yourself a break and take things slow. Hugs from Robin.

  4. Very understandable your challenges with your new transition. 50 years is a long time to be working and then be free. Of course you want to still connect to your coworkers even though they are not truly friends. New friendships will happen especially as you have compassion and love for yourself. Good job Mary of moving forward.

  5. Oh sweet Mary.....first off....I LOVED THAT OPENING QUOTE!!! LOL LOL

    Second, I know just how you feel. The exact same feeling happened to me some years ago when I finally quit working. It seems we become so "identified" with our work ..... that we don't really know who we are without it. This will pass my friend.....this is an time to focus on you and for you to "spread your wings so to speak." I actually reached out to complete strangers when I first retired.....just visiting with anyone I met in my day. Don't know if that is possible in New York....but it did work for me.



  6. Take the time, call them when you feel you need to, rest when you feel you need to, go out when you feel you need to. It will balance eventually and you will love it! :)

  7. Just take it slowly, Mary, and it will become easier. You have so many new plans and so many things you want to do. But with big change can come long adjustment. You'll get there. I don't think you did anything out of the ordinary in calling everyone. These people were such a huge part of your every day life for such a long time!

  8. January 4, 2013, my husband retired. It's a whole new world. Yes, we have our list - we've added to it, and (delightfully) crossed out jobs completed. It took most of this time for my husband to 'get it.' He's not on vacation, this is it. One afternoon in March or April (time is a weird thing, I'm keeping up with seasons better than months - probably how it should be)anyway, he was rushing to finish a job that we were still weeks away from finishing! He was snapping at me and I snapped back - then dawned on him "we aren't on the clock, I'm not catching the train for work in the morning, I've got time to finish this project - even if I don't finish it today." A peace washed over him and I think that was a turning point. Also, his blood sugar (he's diabetic and checks his blood every morning) has been averaging 30 points lower since mid January and has been a few more points lower the past few weeks. I think it's the stress leaving his body (and mind).

    I didn't mean to get carried away, just wanted you know that others are going through this. I look forward to following your adventures.