Monday, June 17, 2013

Monday Morning This and That

The hardest part of raising a child is teaching them to ride bicycles. A shaky child on a bicycle for the first time needs both support and freedom. The realization that this is what the child will always need can hit hard.

Sloan Wilson

I had a wonderful weekend, and  soon, very soon, every day will be a weekend.  19 days and counting.  I contacted Social Security on Friday because I hadn't heard anything, and it is all set to go.  Things are beginning to fall into place. Now, to follow up on my pension and look into plans to offset my Medicare.  Yes, indeed, I am on my way. Anyone here a member of AARP?  Is it really worth joining?  They say it is good for those who travel, but I am a homebody. 

On Saturday I headed out to TJ Maxx., but I did not go home as a  'maxxinista'. Actually, I found the store a big disappointment, at least the one in our neighborhood. The only item I found in my size was a nightgown for $17. I started to pick it up and then decided against it. Nightgowns are the last thing I need right now. I have so many. And gone are those days of buying something just so I don't go home empty handed.Afterwards I walked over to Century 21. Another big disappointment. Three floors of clothing, yet they only sell petite, Missy, and for regular women. Nothing for a 'plus size' like me. Talk about discrimination...and oddly enough, from what I saw most of the women who were shopping there on Saturday morning could use a plus size and still others were more up in age like me. Those scanty items just weren't their style, and to be honest, most were, like me, walking around empty handed. Chalk it up as a lesson learned. I just won't go there anymore.

On Sunday afternoon my son dropped by with his new girlfriend.  She was so pretty and nice, and he is so smitten.  I worry about him because his heart breaks very easily, and he a habit of picking up women who are on the rebound.  Needless to say, none of them have worked out.  They all got back together with their original beau, and my son was left pining away for something that wasn't meant to be. But, who knows.  Hopefully, this one will be different. I don't know about this girl, and I haven't want to pry, so I haven't asked.  Besides, he is a grown man,  old enough to make his own decisions and  it is not really my business. I shouldn't be sticking my nose where it did not belong.  But, it is just I remember how devastated he was when the last one walked away. I felt his pain.

As a mom, though, it is hard  to let go, isn't it?   We're so used to cleaning their cuts and scrapes and soothing their tears that we want to continue fixing their problems for them, rather than allowing them to make their own choices. When our motherly instincts kick it, we forget that our adult children need the freedom to develop their own lives. They have to be free to make their own mistakes just as our parents allowed us to make our mistakes. Of course, it we see our adult child setting off on a very destructive path, it would be wise for us to step in and try to steer them in another direction, but relationship issues are another matter.   I can listen, sympathize when things go wrong, and offer ,my advice and support, but I have to step back and give my son the freedom to make his own mistakes and learn from them.  Otherwise, how will he grow?

Do not ask that your kids live up to your expectations.  Let your kids be who they are, and your expectations will be in breathless pursuit.  
Robert Brault


  1. Hooray for you! Not buying the nightie, just to come home with a package! I am so proud of you!!!

    Perhaps it's just as well, that the close stores, aren't stocked with calling-to-you items. :-)

    Yes, it's hard to treat them like adults. But we have, have, have to do so. Good luck to your son, with this girlfriend.

  2. Great post today, Mary, and I love both those quotations you used.

  3. I go through the same issue about having a son and praying he won't get his heart broken by a woman. My son's pretty guarded in some senses but he also knows his flaws when it comes to falling in love. All we can do is love them and be there for them.

  4. Love your post today! Brought tears to my eyes, its so hard to let them grow up and make mistakes, feel pain, etc, etc, but our mothers did, and the mothers before them. Love the last quote!

  5. Hi dear Mary.....sounds like you are getting everything in order for the big "R". I am a member of AARP, in fact my supplemental insurance is through them. I certainly think it is worth looking into....even if you don't travel much.....just my opinion though. you email re your email the same?