The more you praise and celebrate your life, the more there is in life to celebrate.
This weekend as I did my bi-weekly food shopping, I began buying some of the non-perishables I will need for Thanksgiving, and it struck, this will be the last holiday we spend in the home that has been ours for 15 years. Hubby had said to make only a small meal since much of our things are packed, but I want to go out with a 'bang'. This will be a very special Thanksgiving for us.
It is an uncomfortable place to be right now, but it hasn't 'always' been this way. I have to remember that. It is so easy to focus on the negative. because the negative is where it is right now. Yes, the battle between families has gone on since Day One, but it was bearable. Usually, it was the old gent upstairs who would be knocking at my door complaining that my landlady was late paying the oil or water bill. (As co-owners, they shared payments). And that I learned to deal with, usually with a chuckle, especially when he would tape the bill to the front door, because I 'knew' she was going to pay; she just wanted to see him squirm. And my landlady? Sometimes I didn't hear from her for years. Aside from not having to pay the bills, for many years, it was like I owned my own home.
So, at this time of Thanksgiving celebration, I have to remember the good and not only the bad. I have to remember those long, hazy nights when I couldn't sleep and wandered out in the yard and felt such serenity being close to nature. I now will be giving that up. My budgies , who gave me so much joy, are buried back there under the bush, and I will have to say my final good-bye. I smile even now as I think of them, and they have been gone so long. Their joyful voices were the last thing I heard before I went to work and the first thing I heard on their return. My sweet little Abbott just loved Spanish music , so hubby would put it on, and Abbott would immediately start bobbing his head and dancing. And I have to stop here because I can feel the tears starting to well, and this is not the time to cry. This is truly a time to celebrate the new and unknown.
Life is a celebration of awakenings, of new beginnings,
and wonderful surprises that enlighten the soul.
Some of you are probably wondering, How can she not have curtains? The truth of the matter is, I have had no need for them because I have no windows. Space here in the city is scarce, and most homes are attached to the house next to them. I have no windows in the kitchen, bathroom, living room, or dining room. I only have two windows in the front bedroom and two in the back. I do have a door in the kitchen, but there is no screen, so to keep it open is to invite the flies or worse yet, have my cat get out and be poisoned by the neighborhood killer who thinks she is doing the animals a favor. This was one of the reasons that I was craving a home with windows and light. I can't wait to start my herb garden in the kitchen window. It's been a dream of mine for so long now, ever since I left the home with my magical garden.
And so it is that I have much to be thankful for this Thanksgiving, both for the new and for the old. We were a family here. We laughed, we cried, we mourned, and we loved, but it is time to move on, to say good-bye. Hubby and I often drive by our other home and stop, to share our memories, but I don't think I will do that here. Too much insanity has made it so painful to be here. December 15th will be good-bye, and I will not look back...but I will always have my memories.