Monday, November 14, 2011

Remembering the Good as Well as the Bad

 The more you praise and celebrate your life, the more there is in life to celebrate.

-Oprah Winfrey-

This weekend as I did my bi-weekly food shopping, I began buying some of the non-perishables I will need for Thanksgiving, and it struck, this will be the last holiday we spend in the home that has been ours for 15 years.   Hubby had said to make only a small meal since much of our things are packed, but I want to go out with a 'bang'.  This will be a very special Thanksgiving for us. 

It is an uncomfortable place to be right now, but it hasn't 'always' been this way.  I have to remember that.  It is so easy to focus on the negative. because the negative is where it is right now.  Yes, the battle between families has gone on since Day One, but it was bearable.  Usually, it was the old gent upstairs who would be knocking at my door complaining that my landlady was late paying the oil or water bill.  (As co-owners, they shared payments).   And that I learned to deal with, usually with a chuckle, especially when he would tape the bill to the front door, because I 'knew' she was going to pay; she just wanted to see him squirm.  And my landlady?  Sometimes I didn't hear from her for years.  Aside from not having to pay the bills, for many years, it was like I owned my own home.

So, at this time of Thanksgiving celebration, I have to remember the good and not only the bad.  I have to remember those long, hazy nights when I couldn't sleep and wandered out in the yard and felt such serenity being close to nature.  I now will be giving that up.  My budgies , who gave me so much joy, are buried back there under the bush, and I will have to say my final good-bye.  I smile even now as I think of them, and they have been gone so long.  Their joyful voices were the last thing I heard before I went to work and the first thing I heard on their return.  My sweet little Abbott just loved Spanish music , so hubby would put it on, and Abbott would immediately start bobbing his head and dancing.  And I have to stop here because I can feel the tears starting to well, and this is not the time to cry.   This is truly a time to celebrate the new and unknown.

Life is a celebration of awakenings, of new beginnings,
and wonderful surprises that enlighten the soul.


Some of you are probably wondering, How can she not have curtains?  The truth of the matter is, I have had no need for them because I have no windows. Space here in the city is scarce, and most homes are attached to the house next to them.  I have no windows in the kitchen, bathroom, living room, or dining room.  I only have two windows in the front bedroom and two in the back.  I do have a door in the kitchen, but there is no screen, so to keep it open is to invite the flies or worse yet, have my cat get out and be poisoned by the neighborhood killer who thinks she is doing the animals a favor.  This was one of the reasons that I was craving a home with windows and light.  I can't wait to start my herb garden in the kitchen window.  It's been a dream of mine for so long now, ever since I left the home with my magical garden.

And so it is that I have much to be thankful for this Thanksgiving, both for the new and for the old.  We were a family here.  We laughed, we cried, we mourned, and we loved, but it is time to move on, to say good-bye.  Hubby and I often drive by our other home and stop, to share our memories, but I don't think I will do that here.  Too much insanity has made it so painful to be here. December 15th will be good-bye, and I will not look back...but I will always have my memories.


  1. it is always bittersweet isn't it...i hate goodbyes , but there is something to be said for new beginnings.

  2. You have so much courage. Meaning, to bother with remembering the good things, there.

    I suppose that sounds awful, to you and to your Dear Readers. I'm obviously not as tuned to as many things, as you (and they) are. They understand you, in this matter. I don't, fully anyway.

    My main thought would be to prepare for *shaking the dust of this place, from my feet*, on Dec. 15th!!!!! -grin-

    And this, makes you (and them) sad.

    Because I'd not be doing-the-leaving-nor-the-new-beginning...... Properly, I suppose. -sigh-

    Then again, I'd not be able to be totally that hard-hearted. I'd probably need to dig up some happy memories, of 15 years. But!!!!!!! Trouble with those happy-nostalgic memories, they can drag us down. With I'm leaving-feelings. And with I'll-miss-this feelings.

    I am one who tries to avoid drag-down-feelings, as much as is possible.

    AND YOU HAVE SUCH A WONDERFUL ADVENTURE, AHEAD OF YOU!!!!! I want you to be skipping around with JOY. Packing and getting everything as ready as possible! For moving on to your New Adventure.

    Now to really shock you... -gigggles- I'd not even cook Thanksgiving Dinner there! I'd go out for something to eat that day. And go to a movie (a jolly, magical sort of film, of course) and just....... Luxuriate in what's to come.

    OK, I'm a nut. -giggles- At least I hope I give you and your Dear Readers, a chuckle.

    Gentle hugs,
    “But see, in our open clearings, how golden the melons lie;
    Enrich them with sweets and spices, and give us the pumpkin-pie!”

    ~Margaret Junkin Preston

  3. Ohhhh, and if you (and your Dear Readers) would like to come over and suggest some differing views, to me, I'd be happy to hear them.

    I'm not moving house, but every day/month/year has a leaving-quality, about it. Perhaps I could due with some gentle advice... On how to do alllllllll change.


    Not perhaps!

    Of course I could!

    Gentle hugs,
    “But see, in our open clearings, how golden the melons lie;
    Enrich them with sweets and spices, and give us the pumpkin-pie!”

    ~Margaret Junkin Preston

  4. ohboy. Mary, this post struck a chord with me.

    I used to focus on the negative so that I could get through changes in my life without feeling sad. If I thought about all I WASN'T going to miss, I could move on.

    But no matter how much better a place we move to, we still have so much attachment to our places. So many experiences we have in these places, especially when we live there so long, which I tended to do.

    If I had to do it again, I would allow myself to mourn, to be sad, and spend some time embracing my place one more time. It's harder to do this, but in some ways it feels more right than "just moving on" as they say... I have "just moved on" too many times without stopping and reflecting and giving one last embrace to the place I called home.

    So I think it's great to remember the good times, and to look forward to more in your new place, because it's the experiences you and your hubby have that make the memories and you will make lots more.

    PS. The Barenaked Lady's song "The Old Apartment" gets to me everytime because I am still connected to every place I have ever lived. Lyrics are here

  5. Ok, mine will be short and to the point...You won the giveaway over at Josette's blog, so take a deep breath, give her your address and move on... It's just a new adventure Mary:)