When
you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in
truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight.
Kahlil
Gibran
Good morning. I want to thank everyone for their kind words and suggestions. Yes, I am going to see a counselor. And I am definitely going to look into When I broke down the other night, hubby was pretty understanding and that made me feel good. Like I said, he was never raised among pets so although he would never hurt her, he doesn't understand why to me she is a part of the family. Whenever I tried to approach him, he would say "She is only a cat." He wasn't trying to be mean. He was only reacting as he had been taught. So, it kind of surprised me when he said, "You gave her 22 good years. She was treated like a human. She has had a full life." And then he went on to explain that death is a part of life, and I know he is talking about himself as well. And, perhaps, I think, he is afraid of showing his feelings for her. I catch him watching out for her and I saw the panic stricken face the other night when I told him she had taken a turn for the worse. I think he doesn't want to admit that an animal could have a place in his heart.
(My goodness. Look how thin I was)
Miss Minga was born in June, 1992. I adopted her that July. Our neighbor's cat had had four kittens, and I was offered first choice. I chose Miss Minga and her sister who I named Micheline. For some reason, that little red ball of fluff seemed French to me. Sadly, one day she wandered out front and someone walked off with her. The owner used to boast about how he beat the poor little things, so even though I had these two, I was still concerned about the others. So, one day when they went out and left the kittens in the hallway, hubby and I took them and found homes for them.
Look how nicely some of my herbs are doing. Too bad I don't know what they are. The top ones have little brown buds on the end. Anyone have any ideas? And the bottom one, looks like grass. It is so thin I wonder if it will survive. The others did not make it, so in two of the containers I planted Moon Flowers this weekend and put them in the window with little sun. Don't know if they can be grown indoors, but it is certainly worth a try.
Last night I turned off the lights, lit a candle, and sat in silent prayer. This morning Miss Minga seems so much better, but that is the roller coaster ride I have been on. I am going to try my hand at the Bach Flower Remedies as well. I have been aware of them for years, but have never used them. Mary, I know you use them. Which would you suggest?
Well, guess that is it for now. Not going to the center today, but I am going to get out for awhile. I love my baby dearly and want to spend every moment with her, so much so that it even hurts to go to bed, but I know I am useless to everyone if I fall apart.
We must embrace pain and burn it as fuel for our journey.
Kenji Miyazawa
Wishing you all a fantastic day.
Give Miss Minga a special skritch for me too.
ReplyDeleteTHX for sharing ALL and giving us a look back in time.
ReplyDeleteThere is a special place in Heaven 4 u and hubby.
(((hugs)))
So nice to get a glimpse of what you look like! I want to re-iterate what I and others said about getting counseling and medication. Being treated medically for depression is not a cop-out. Why would it be any different for you get treated for emotional pain than it would for your back and leg pain? Plus, as others have said, once you are treated for depression some of your physical pain will go away too.
ReplyDelete