Thursday, May 3, 2012

The Rose Within

A certain man planted a rose and watered it faithfully and before it blossomed, he examined it.

He saw the bud that would soon blossom, but noticed thorns upon the stem and he thought, "How can any beautiful flower come from a plant burdened with so many sharp thorns?" Saddened by this thought, he neglected to water the rose, and just before it was ready to bloom... it died.

So it is with many people. Within every soul there is a rose. The God-like qualities planted in us at birth, grow amid the thorns of our faults. Many of us look at ourselves and see only the thorns, the defects.

We despair, thinking that nothing good can possibly come from us. We neglect to water the good within us, and eventually it dies. We never realize our potential.

Some people do not see the rose within themselves; someone else must show it to them. One of the greatest gifts a person can possess is to be able to reach past the thorns of another, and find the rose within them.

This is one of the characteristic of love — to look at a person, know their true faults and accepting that person into your life; all while recognizing the nobility in their soul. Help others to realize they can overcome their faults. If we show them the 'rose' within themselves, they will conquer their thorns. Only then will they blossom many times over.

There are a couple counselors here who still maintain that old TC mentality. TC modalities believed in breaking a person down and then building them up again. They found out years ago that this didn't work, but sadly, many counselors still use this method because they enjoy that feeling of power it gives them. Instead, the new method is what they call 'Motivational Interviewing'. When you really look at it, it actually reverts back to Carl Rogers and his 'meeting the client where the client is at'.&Most clients that come to our program are not in very good space when they first arrive.  All their lives they have been beaten down. They are hopeless, broken, and numb.  How does one 'help' by beating them down even further?  

I choose, instead, to look for the 'rose' within themselves instead of focusing on the 'thorns'.  There is no greater joy than in seeing someone's face light up when you offer them compliments.  It doesn't have to be something big.  It can be something something as simple as 'My, but have you noticed how well you are looking now that you are in recovery?  Your complexion is clear and there is a rosy tint to your cheeks.  Your eyes have a twinkle that wasn't there when we first met.  You must be feeling quite well now.'  The smile you get in return can make your day.

When it comes to our friends and loved ones, sometimes we are too quick to focus on the thorns.  Maybe we got up on the wrong side of the bed or we are tired from a hard day's work and pick at what we perceive as their 'fault's and fail to recognize the 'rose' that lies within.  It's at those times that we have to take a step back, breathe deeply, and recognize the wonderful blossoms that have come into our lives.


  1. Sarah was just saying to her four month old son Gavin this morning,"You make mommy's whole day with your smile." It was an awesome sight that I got to witness between mother and her baby. :0)
    Have a great day Mary. (((hugs)))Pat

  2. I heard somewhere that when we find nothing but fault in others we are placing upon them the faults we find in ourselves but are too scared or ashamed to admit and face.

    You are amazing for offering positivity to those who need it more than anything.

  3. Another much needed post. I admit it. Betcha' lots of Dear Readers could admit, to needing this reminder. Hugsssssss....

  4. Good advice and a timely reminder for me! Thanks, Mary!

  5. Perhaps a person needs to take the thorn out of their own eye, before thinking about condemning another?

    Thanks for letting me read this good post of yours, and for becoming a follower to the blog in which I have!

    Hope you have a peaceful day today!

  6. What a beautiful reminder Mary...
    How wonderful that you build up your clients with positivity instead of the other way around. We need more people like you in counselor positions...

    Cascading Blessings to You Dear Sister!!!

  7. Beautiful post ty Mary. I love the possitive approach and find it always brings out the best in everyone especially me :) have a great weekend x x x