Tuesday, December 29, 2009
Sorting Thoughts on a Cold Winter's Day
Today I wanted to talk about New Year's Resolutions. I have a book which I have kept since 1991. This book is only for my resolutions. I dug it out the other day and had a look through it...and you know what I found? I've made pretty much the same resolutions year after year after year....Stop smoking...Eat healthier....Lose weight....and on and on... and it never works for me. Take smoking, for example. At midnight, I will say "no smoking for me in the new year", and then morning rolls around I am lighting up with my coffee. And, as the years' end rolls round, there is that big letdown that I didn't accomplish anything that I set out to do. Well, this year I am going to do something different. I'm not going to concentrate on what I want to do in the new year; I am going to look at what I have accomplished in the old year. And this year I have a lot to be proud of..
First on my list is smoking....not to stop smoking, but to acknowledge that this was the year that I finally did STOP. July 4, 2009 was my Independence Day, and on January 4th, I will have 6 months smoke free. You don't know how big that one is for me. It's the first holiday season in 40 years that I haven't smoked.
I completed my Bardic Course and started on my Ovate. That's another biggie for me. Finishing things...especially courses...and even more especially, courses that I don't have to pay for...is not easy for me. I tend to jump in to something, get bored, and that's the end of that...but this was important to me...and I set my mind to completing, and I did it.
I've learned to budget. I no longer run off to the stores and spend, spend, spend. And this started long before hubby lost his job. I was never content to buy one of anything. If I bought one nail polish, I had to get two more of a different color. I bought so many things that I didn't need, so many clothes that were never worn. I wouldn't call it an addiction; it was more like a compulsion. I often wondered if it stemmed from my teenage years. I've worked since I was 16 years old and had to give my parents 3/4 of my salary...leaving me with virtually nothing. I remember going to high school and not having the nice things that the other kids had. Now I see it as being materialistic, but back then, it was heartbreaking to a kid. Or, perhaps my compulsive shopping stemmed from my early days here in the city when I was so poor that I would buy a jar of Ragu sauce and a loaf of bread, and that would be breakfast, lunch, and dinner for days. Whatever the reason, I can honestly say that those days of needless spending are now over.
I've not only found an outlet for my creativity, but I have met some wonderful new friends while doing it. I am going into the new year feeling blessed. I thank you all for your gift of friendship. Aside from love and health, there is nothing greater in the world.