Twenty Years From Now

Twenty years from now,

you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do,

than by the ones you did do.

So throw off the bowlines.

Sail away from the safe harbour.

Catch the trade winds in your sails.

--Mark Twain --

Am I disappointed in the things I didn't do?  I'll admit, yes, sometimes I do sit back and wonder about the things I didn't do and what might have been. Things left unsaid.  Things left undone.  My first love.  What if?  Would we have been happy?  Or, what if I hadn't dropped out of school?  What if I had completed and then gone on to college?  But, I wouldn't have.  Girls from my small town just didn't go on to further their education.  The only further education they got was learning how to take care of the children and their man.  I wasn't ready for that back then.  

So, I threw off the bowlines and sailed away from the safe harbor finding myself lost in the biggest metropolis in the world.  Did I think about giving up and going back home?  You bet I did, especially in those early days when I had no money for food and lived on Ragu sandwiches.  Did I regret my decision?  In those early days, regret, yes; give up, no.  The way I see it now is, all of the early suffering, all of the trauma and turmoil I went through, I wouldn't be the person I am today.  


So, here it is, almost 40 years later, and when I look back, I do not wonder how things could have been different.  I can honestly say I am not disappointed by the things I didn't do because I know that I did what I had to do in order to grow.  I know, today, that had I chosen to follow my classmates, I would have lived a life of what if's.  Each path I took led me to another, bringing me to where I am today.  To change the past, would be to change the me that I have become.  I think, if I had to pin one thing down that I am disappointed in, it is the things that were left unsaid.  

Twenty years from now, will you be disappointed in the things you didn't do?

Monday Musings

Didn't get my hair cut this weekend. We had some dreadful weather, and if I am going to pay to have my hair cut, then I'd like the style to at least last until I get home. That's how windy and rainy it was here, and on Saturday it was cold. Thought I even saw a few snowflakes on the way home from the supermarket on Saturday, but I know it wasn't that cold. My imagination was working overtime.

Did all my cooking on Saturday. Sunday I took it easy. I am finding that Sunday is the hardest day for me to stick with this diet. I eat the same amount during the day, but I feel a hunger that I don't feel on the other days. Perhaps it is because I am not as busy and have more time to think about food. 

Started reading Spirit of the Ancestors by Susan Schuster Campbell. It's all about connecting with your ancestors. In the book, she discusses and shares ways to communicate with and honor  your ancestors.  Many cultures have  a tradition of remembering the deceased with a physical gesture such as offering food or drink. One old African custom she talks about is the Ancestor Party. Accordingly, it can be an elaborate meal with many guests or a simple meal taken alone...and it doesn't matter whether it is breakfast, lunch, or dinner. It's not the meal itself that counts, but your sincere intent to honor your ancestors. The celebration need not be perfect; your effort will be appreciated because it is yours.
 
Even though your ancestors from generations in the past are not present in your life today, each of your successes validates them. Each of your ancestors whom you have never known played an important role in the person that you are today. So, as you prepare, think about your ancestors, the music of their ethnicity, the foods that represent their heritage. If they were physically coming to your party, what tablecloth and dishware would you choose? Remember, it is not necessary for you to have known them in life. Families have a deep connection. And you will find that, as you plan, images, foods, music, and scents may come to mind. Add some fragrant candles and family photographs. 

Depending on your preferences, you might put a symbolic place setting at the table or simply raise a glass to offer a toast on their behalf.  One idea is to put small tastes of each food on the plate and afterwards put the plate in the garden for the birds and other animals.  It is believed that the ancestors may send unexpected guests to your door when an ancestor party is underway.  On this day, none should be turned away.  

Before moving on, I'd like to share with you a wonderful website I happened upon.  Here you will find a virtual shrine where you can light a virtual candle or make a prayer to your ancestors. 

For the Ancestors 


In keeping with thoughts of dinner parties, recently I was tagged by 
to participate in a Dinner Challenge.  I am to  choose 6 people, living or dead, that I'd like to invite over for dinner. They can be friends and/or family, famous or infamous people. All that is needed is what the individuals might add to the group.  

When I think of my ancestors, it is really hard for me to make a choose one over the other, but if I had to choose one, I guess it would be my great grandmother, Constance Mary Hazel, because having never had the opportunity to meet her, I would welcome the opportunity to sit at the table with this strong woman who, by raising my dad, ensured that I would be born. 

Liz Greene,  my ultra-favorite astrologer, who I would love to do a reading for me, and hopefully I would be able to pry one out of her at the dinner party. 

Dion Fortune, a woman ahead of her time who was never afraid to discuss her beliefs, who inspired others to follow in her footsteps.   I'd like to thank her for her courage.

William Butler Yeats, my ultra favorite poet.  Perhaps he would honor us with some beautiful words.

Joseph Campbell, a very special writer and author who opened my eyes to mythology.  Hopefully, he will tell us some wonderful tales.

And finally, my Mother, so that I might have the opportunity to tell her I love and forgive her and miss her every day of my life. 

Now, I am supposed to nominate others to join me at dinner, but here is where I veer off.  I'd be honored to share dinner with each and every one of you, so all of you are invited. 

The Pink Full Moon in Libra

Tonight brings us the first Full Moon of the new spring season in the Northern Hemisphere.  According to the Farmer's Almanac, the April Full Moon is known as the Pink Moon, supposedly because of the herb moss which looks to be a dusty pink under the Full Moon light.   Other names for this month’s full Moon  include the Full Sprouting Grass Moon, the Egg, Grass, or Easter Moon. In the southern hemisphere, this is the first Full Moon of Autumn. For those living in the southern hemisphere, this is the Hunter’s Moon.

The Druids called the Spring Moon of April, the Seed Moon because this Moon signalled the time for planting.  And, for the Druids, this was also the first Moon of the New Year as their year ended with the dead of the winter and began with the planting season, the time when the world once again came alive with warmth and greenery.   

Each Full Moon is an opposition of the Sun (our conscious self) and Moon (our emotions and subconscious desires), and each are about some kind of awareness within our relationships.  Libra is an Air sign ruled by Venus.  When the Moon is full in Libra (balance), it opposes the Aries Sun (independence).  Under Libra, we have a desire to connect with others while Aries values independence so this Full Moon requires that we find a balance between the 'self'  from the powerful Aries influence this month and Libra's  need for peace and harmony and connection.  Hence, this Full Moon puts a focus on our relationship with others and balancing 'my' needs which may be conflicting with 'your' needs.  The two must be balanced if healthy relationships are to occur.

During this Full Moon you might wish to take some time to examine where your own relationship is out of balance.  Ask yourself in what areas you  are you letting your own needs come before the needs of your loved ones, and in what areas do you find yourself giving too much while neglecting your own needs? 

Pueblo Blessing

Hold on to what is good, even if it is a handful of dirt.

Hold on to what you believe, even if it is a tree that stands by itself.

Hold on to what you must do, even if it is a long way from here.

Hold on to life, even if it is easier to let go.

Hold on to my hand, even if I have gone away from you.

--Pueblo Blessing--

Wow, another week gone.  I just cannot seem to catch up anymore.  This is my cooking weekend, so tomorrow morning I'll be up and out early, then slaving over the stove all afternoon.  But, it's always such a good feeling when I am done and know I don't have to cook for another two weeks.  You would never know that I used to cook for catering.  I am a great cook, and there was a time that I loved cooking...even made my own noodles, but somewhere I lost that love and now it has become so tedious to me.

Sunday I might go to the beauty parlor to have my hair cut.  Notice I said 'might'.  It's been twenty  years since I stepped into the shop, been trimming my hair myself.  But, I just feel as if this look is getting too aging on me.  Might also change my mind before then.  I'm kind of scared.  There is a reason I stopped going, and that's because no matter where I went I always came out in tears.

I have been totally engrossed in watching the little eaglets grow....the miracle of life and nature.  Mother Nature truly is astonishing, and I feel blessed for the opportunity to see her at her best.

For those who may have missed it the other day, I'm posting the link again.  It's truly a joy to see.

http://www.ustream.tv/decoraheagles

Here's hoping you all have a wonderful weekend.  Hopefully the weather holds up, and we can all get a touch of air.

Good News

Three pounds.  I'm  take some time today gonna toot my own horn, but I am just so proud of myself.  Down to 203 pounds.  A long way to go, but I am not going to complain.  It's really a great start.  I was kind of nervous before I got on the scale.  On the past diets I have been on, if I didn't lose anything, I would become so discouraged that I would just say the heck with it and go on a big splurge, never looking back.  This time is different, though.  This time I am fighting for my health.   

Motivation is the key.  I know what I have to do.  I stopped smoking to feel better, and I really did for awhile...until all the food I substituted for the cigarettes began taking its toll.  Sure, in the first few days or even weeks of my quit, the food helped me not to smoke...and at that point, you do what you must not to smoke.  But, after the first couple weeks, when the cravings abate some, one is supposed to ease up on the food, but I didn't.  I just kept on eating whatever I wanted, and it was not all healthy food either....chips, cake, candy and recently those darned cadbury eggs. Ballooned up from 145 pounds to 206 in about a year and a half.    

But, I don't want to scare anyone out there from stopping smoking, and now I am afraid that I might be.   You don't have to gain all that weight.  I have an addictive personality and tend to get addicted fast.  Food became my new addiction.  Do stop smoking. That is one of the best decision I ever made in my life....after all those years.  I started smoking when I was in high school  because I wanted to fit in...and in those days, it was cool to smoke.  Why, we could even smoke on school property, and were provided with smoke breaks.  No one knew back then how bad it was for you.  I was 14 years old when I started and stopped at age 62.  That is a whole lot of years.
  

I know how it is, and, believe me,  I don't mean for this to turn into a lecture.  That is not what my blog is about.  When I was in the throes of my addiction, no one could tell me anything.  We always think that we are immortal, that it will never happen to us, but then it does, or to someone we love.  When I came home from work that day and found hubby struggling to find enough breath to get a sentence out, I knew that it was time to quit.  Of course, it took me three months longer than him, but eventually I did it, and today I am proud to say I am smokefree for:

One year, nine months, one week, two days, 16 hours, 32 minutes and 36 seconds. 9730 cigarettes not smoked, saving $4,767.86. Life saved: 4 weeks, 5 days, 18 hours, 50 minutes.  (My stats this morning)

So, as I always say, if I can do it, you can.  Think about it.  You'll never regret your decision.

The Lesson of the Little Turtle

The greater the obstacle,

the more glory in overcoming it.

--Moliere--

Monday we had another of those super boring trainings with that super boring trainer that I have had four times already. And believe me, none of us were smiling like those students in the picture.  I know some of you probably remember me mentioning it last year. It's always the same thing...the same stories, about himself, of course, narcissist that he is, and the same corny jokes. I can relate the entire course word for word. It was one of those afternoons that you sit and watch the clock and count the seconds until it is time to go home. Ironically, though, the greatest lesson of the day came out of a fish tank in the form of a little turtle.

  

About a month ago, we inherited a rather large fish tank at work, but we just could not seem to keep any fish in it. Within a week or two, they would all die. It was getting so frustrating. Then, one of my clients asked if we'd like to fix it up for turtles instead. It seems that he had three turtles that he had raised since they were quite tiny, but he no longer lived with his wife, couldn't have them where he was living, and his son just wasn't taking care of them. Hence it was that Franklin, Paulie, and Rebecca entered the scene and provided me with enough entertainment to make it through the afternoon.

Picture, if you will, a rock ledge large enough for only two at a time.  They love climbing onto this rock and looking around, but according to my client, this is also something they have to do.  They have to get out of the water several times during the day to keep their shells hard.   During the training Rebecca (the smallest) and Paulie (the middle child) were relaxing on the rock, and Franklin (the big guy) wanted to be up there, too. Poor little  wanted it in the worse way, but there is only room for two. So, he would struggle, I mean really struggle to crawl up there and climb onto their backs...and he would no sooner get there and start to look around that one of them would move a little, and Franklin would go flying off into the water. But, did he give up?  No...the little guy kept going back around and trying again...and again...until finally, there he sat, king of the rock. You could almost see the pride in his face.

I was thinking about it when I got home, and I real we could all take a lesson from that little turtle. Never give up no matter how impossible it may seem at times.  There will always be difficulties, problems, and troubles to overcome in life; this is a part of being human, and nature is our best teacher  Giving up is never the solution to the adversities we encounter.  Motivation and determination are the key to never giving up on things you wish to do.  I don't know about you, but things that come easy to me are not appreciated as much as those I had to work for, and by facing and dealing with adversity, I  learn to appreciate life more. 

And since we are on the topic of nature, I wanted to share something with all of you.  Some of you may have seen it already.  A dear, dear friend   
Akasa Wolf Song sent it to me the other day and I am addicted.  I cannot stop watching. It is so totally fascinating.   Keep the browser open all day and on up until I go to bed.  Hope you enjoy the following as much as me.

Decorah Eagles

See every difficulty as a challenge, a stepping stone,
and never be defeated by anything or anyone.
- Eileen Caddy (from 'The Dawn of Change') -

Do You Believe in Karma

There is a destiny that makes us brothers -

None goes his way alone;

All that which we send into the lives of others,

Comes back onto our own.

~ Edwin Markham ~

Yesterday I overheard a couple of our female clients talking.  It seems that another client had somehow taken advantage of the kindness of the one client, and she was feeling quite depressed.  "Don't worry about it.  Remember, what goes around comes around.  She'll get what's coming to her."  I wondered, do they even know what karma is or do they say it, just to say it?

What goes around comes around is a saying that I have heard since  my earliest memories.  It was one of my mom's favorite sayings. Not that she believed in reincarnation and karma, but she did think that no matter what someone did to you, just knowing that they would get their would make me feel better.  So, as a child, whenever a classmate wronged me, and that was quite often,  I would sit around and wait for the same ill fate to fall upon them, but it never seemed to come around.  I know that makes me sound like a mean, vindictive child, but the truth was, I was the oddball of the class, and my classmates were very mean to me.  Teasing really hurts and its effects can haunt you for the rest of your life, but enough about that.  I have already veered far off the original topic of this post. 

The Bible says,  What ye sow, so shall ye reap!.  For every action there is an opposite and equal reaction.  Karma means action or acts of the will.   but a common misperception of karma is that it is a predetermined fate, that one will get what they deserve and there is not a thing they can do about of.  And, while there is a widespread familiarity with the idea of karma, it is all too often only associated with negative consequences, yet new acts of kindness, generosity, and selfless service will also come back to us.  

Karma means action or acts of the will in Sanskrit. The Hindu believe that Karma governs all action, vibration, thoughts, and all dimensions of time and space. For every action there is an opposite and equal reaction.  Karma is a chain of causation which stretches way  back into the infinity of our past, and henceforth, is destined to stretch into the infinity of our future.  As humans, we build our own destiny through our thoughts and actions.  When one is positive, the destiny will be positive.  Negative actions bring negative energy.  Compassion begets love.  Love begets love.  In order to be compassionate, we need to love one another because without love we cannot develop compassion. 

Discussing this topic has stirred up some memories, so before closing so I can get my butt in gear, I'd like to share a little history with you.    I think it must have something to do with growing older. The first time I was ever introduced to the concept of karma and reincarnation was in my late teens when I discovered the works of Annie Wood Besant,  activist, mystic, and one of the original theosophists and supporter of Helena Blavatsky.  It was Annie who introduced new terms like etheric body into the theosophical literature, and despite it being somewhat difficult reading, I just could not get enough.  And if I had to pinpoint that very moment that I stepped forth on my chosen path, it would be when I had been introduced to the Theosophical Society and Annie Besant.  Of course, it would be many, many years before I found my true path of Druidism, but it was way back then that I discovered that there was more out there besides traditional religion...and I have never looked back.

"If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy, practice compassion." - Dalai Lama.