Monday, June 2, 2014

Tuesday Ramble

My guiding principles in life are to be honest, genuine, thoughtful and caring. 

Prince William

Good morning.  I've got to head over and get some blood work this morning.  Boy, am I a poor patient.  I was supposed to go month's ago.  In fact, the last time I saw the doctor, but I just kept forgetting.  Not good when it comes to your health.  Now I am running out of blood pressure meds, called for a refill, and was read the riot act in a nice and caring way.  

When I returned home from the Center yesterday, there were two young ladies waiting in the lobby with all their belongings.  I asked if they were moving in or moving out.  One responded, "Moving in and moving out." Seems they were there to sublet an apartment.  Problem was, the man who had offered them the sublet and taken their money  had just lost his case and was evicted.  He never let them know.  So here they were, thinking they were moving into a nice apartment and a nice neighborhood and instead found themselves homeless. What a predicament to find themselves in.  They had let their apartment go. I felt so bad for them, but there was really nothing I could do.

Dishonesty comes in all forms.  For example, take one of my peers from the Center.  We ride the same bus in the morning.  She is in her 80's and uses her age to get the drivers' sympathies to get free rides back and forth to the Center. At first she always said something like "I forgot my card" or "I don't have enough money and have to get to the doctor." And the bus drivers' would tell her to go on. As time went on and she saw she was getting away with it,  she didn't even offer an excuse to the driver anymore. She would just get on and move  into the bus like she is entitled to a free ride. And believe me, it is not like she was poor and couldn't afford it.  Heck, she never misses a trip to Atlantic City. And what makes it worse, she comes to the Center and brags about it. GRRR!!!!

When hubby and I were having our financial woes awhile back, I NEVER thought of using my age or handicap as an excuse for a free ride.  I find myself living from check to check, but have always paid my fare.  If I didn't have it, I wouldn't go.  That's me.  I am an honest person.  But, it did irritate me when I saw my peer riding for free every day.  I respect her age, but to me that is no excuse.  I once read that as we age, the habits we developed over a lifetime become more pronounced. Does this mean this woman has been dishonest all her life?

So, I absolutely loved it the day the bus driver stopped her and said, "I can't do this anymore.  You have to pay your fare."  Her response, "Oh, let me see if I have it", and she began rifling through her pockets, taking her time.  It was obvious to me that she was hoping he would tell her to forget it and let her ride for free again.  But, this time he waited for his fare. Finally, she dug into her jacket pocket and just happened to come up with the exact change.  Imagine that. 

In some way we all pay for others' dishonesty.  In the case of fare beaters, the MTA doesn't bring in enough money to do needed repairs.  Hence, fares are raised, and it is the honest citizen who pays.  The fare beater could care less.  When someone shoplifts, it is the honest consumer that has to pay when stores are forced to raise their prices.  It's just not fair.

Some people just don't have the right values.  They were never taught at home. In fact, some people are taught to be dishonest.  For example, my ex mother-in-law used to babysit my eldest when I went to work.  One day I happened to be there with some time to spare, and she asked if I had time to accompany her to the supermarket.  Well, everything went well until we got to the register and I caught her shoving penny candies into my son's pocket as we waited in line.  I was furious but I managed to control myself as I informed her that I would appreciate it if she didn't do that again. Needless to say, it was weeks before she spoke to me again.  I had hurt her feelings.

We have all been victims. Hubby has had the mirror stolen off his car.  I once had a boyfriend who gave me a birthstone ring for Christmas and promptly stole it back the next day. Don't ask me about work.  I have had books, a DVD that I had purchased myself to show the clients, and even a bottle of water...which I had refilled at home. And how about the client who stole my cane while I was in a meeting .  Never did find out who did that. Why do people do these things?  Why do they steal?

Aside from family modeling, one of the most obvious excuses is that they have no money.  But I had no money myself at one time, but I didn't chose to steal from others so I could get a bite to eat.  I went hungry. Since that time I have learned that no one need go hungry in the city if they chose not to.  There are soup kitchens galore and agencies that will help one get housing.  But, patience is the key here, and those that chose to steal instead lack this valuable quality.

Some people aren't even interested in what they are stealing.  They have no need for it.  These are the people who do it for the thrill of it. And then there are those who steal because it is easier to take what belongs to someone else than to work for it.  

What's the answer?  I honestly don't know.  I worked with people who steal.  I tried to help them find jobs or go back to school.  They chose not to.  Instead they chose to steal off of me.  Thanks for letting me share. 

 Emptiness comes from filling yourself up with what's meant for others.”

  Constance Chuks Friday


  1. Of course you wouldn't erase my comments. I never thought it about you!
    I thought I left you those comments before but I wish your son health and strength and I hope he is feeling better already!
    By the way I can't stand people that feel entitled to everything for no apparent reasons!!

  2. I think that a lot of people take advantage of things like this when they discover that they are in group where they might be considered to have special needs. It's still dishonest and not right and hurts the people who really need the help. I also think that it's more prevalent in the city because people are so much more anonymous there. I saw a lot of dishonesty in the city. There is here too, of course, but it's a different kind.