Monday Morning This and That

There is a harmony in autumn, and a luster in its sky,

Which through the summer is not heard or seen,

As if it could not be, as if it had not been!

Percy Bysshe Shelley

Good morning.  Twas an unusual weekend weatherwise.  Saturday felt like Winter had arrived, and by Sunday we were back in the 70's.  On Saturday, I woke early, dressed, and headed to the market.  Cooking weekend, you know. I honestly did not want to go back home.  I wanted to savor the freshness of the air, and, of course, my mind was identifying at least a dozen things I am going to need for fall and winter, but alas, we have to eat so head on home I did. 

The cold weather was a blessing, and spending the entire afternoon in the kitchen over the stove was not as grueling as it was in the summer when I was running back and forth into the living room to get in front of the AC...and cooking in the nude. Not a pretty sight.  I made two pots of hearty stews--one chicken and one beef-- for myself and was pleasantly surprised about how well these recipes, which, by the way, I made up in my head, came out.  

Couldn't take any pictures for you.  Left my phone at work, on my desk, and spent the entire weekend saying a prayer that it was still there when I returned.  Weekend maintenance workers are known for their sticky fingers.  Would you believe they actually stole one of our baby frogs  right out of the tank as well as my 99 cent bottle of hand sanitizer, my hand cream, pens, staplers, etc.  In other words, they will take anything that is not nailed down.

This afternoon I meet with my Endocrinologist.  He'll be the one make the final decision as to whether or not I will need a biopsy on the nodules on my thyroid.  My doctor stated she is reasonably sure that these are benign nodules, but he might want to take a look anyway.  Although I haven't spoken about it, this has been a rather frightening time for me.  First there was the nodule on my left lung and now three on my thyroid.  I voiced my fears to the doctor, and she stated, "You'd be surprised at what is inside of our bodies.  Your lymph nodes look fine." My pulmonologist nearly assured me that my lung nodule was benign as well, but I won't stop worrying until I have a definitive answer. I want something in black and white. 

Of course, I know that that is my hypochondria acting up again, but I am determined not to let it  get the best of me.  I may worry, but I continue with life and do not let my health concerns get me down. Sometimes I look forward and realize that three-quarters of my life is over now, and no matter how old one is, we can never know how much time we have left.  Life is meant to be lived, to be enjoyed.  Life is indeed a gift and one that we should always treasure.

If one burdens the future with one's worries, it cannot grow organically. I am filled with confidence, not that I shall succeed in worldly things, but that even when things go badly for me I shall still find life good and worth living.

Etty Hillesum