A Reprieve of Sorts

Although the world is very full of suffering, it is also full of the overcoming of it.

Helen Keller

A bit of relief is in order here. Hubby got up yesterday and went straight to the Department of Labor yesterday and demanded to know why he was cut off unemployment nine weeks early. It turns out that it was a clerical error. However, it will take until next week before his case is reinstated.  When he began to complain that he shouldn't be penalized for someone's mistake, the worker promised to try to get his funds released at some point this week.  Although I agree that he shouldn't be penalized, I do feel a ton of weight lifted from 'my' shoulders.  This will carry us through January, and hopefully, by then, hopefully, hubby will win his battle and disability will kick in.  Thanks all for your kind words and wishes yesterday. 

As far as the food stamps go.  That's a losing battle, but the Medicaid is worth a fight.  I cannot afford to add him to my insurance.  I'm already paying a little over $200 a month plus co-pay just for me.  And, they pull a slick one on that as well.  I chose this plan because it has a low co-pay $10...but then about a month after a doctor visit, I receive a bill in the mail saying they paid everything but $42.  Of course they don't call it such, but that appears to be a $52 co-pay to  me.  But, there is no use complaining.  They have me over a barrel, and they know it. I need the darned insurance.

On another note, I was sitting by the window last night in quiet reflection, thinking about all the changes this past year has wrought. According to the Celts, the new year begins at Samhain when nature appears to be dying down.  As I recall, it was last year at this time that I discovered they were going to sell my house. Anyone remember what a panic I was in? Why, that had been my only home for 15 years.  What was I to do? But, then the games between the two owners started, and I was put in the middle of the family feud.  Made it very easy for me to pack up and say good-bye, and I have been happy in my new home ever since. 

My son moved out and went on his own.  I knew the time had to come, but it wasn't easy to deal with.  I missed him so.  And,he had spoiled me. All I had to say was, "I feel like an iced coffee", and he'd head out and buy one for me. I'm blessed to have two wonderful sons. They both have had their trials and tribulations as well lately, but learning how to work through their issues and not running home to 'mommy' is how they grow.  Letting go of my need to take care of them has not been easy, though.

Healthwise, there have been some changes. To begin with, I finally started taking care of my health, and, in doing so, I've had to face and accept that I am no longer the 'spring chicken' I once was.  As the doctor in the emergency room stated, "When you reach a certain age, things start to fall apart", and that they have.  I've had to accept that I will never run about the city as I once did, that my back is just 'not' going to get any better, and I have recognized that I will be relying on my cane for more than just getting a seat on the train as some people do.  But, isn't this what life is all about?  

Change? Nothing in life remains the same. It was never meant to. Think of how boring life would be if we had no changes. None of us is the same person we were yesterday, and we are definitely not the same person we were in our youth when our lives stretched out in front of us. Everything has to change, and living is about learning how to change with life and embracing the changes we face.  Change is not always going to be comfortable, but one has to learn how to adapt. Do I relish and embrace the faltering of my health?  No, but I embrace the positive changes it has forced me to make. Celebrate change. It will only make you stronger.

One must never lose time in vainly regretting the past or

in complaining against the changes which cause us discomfort,

for change is the essence of life.

Anatole France