Sunday, September 25, 2011

For Sale

Taking a few minutes rest from my ultra-busy weekend to share the latest with you.  It's official now.  Yesterday they put a 'For Sale' sign on my house and are selling 'as is' which means it could go quickly....very quickly, so, for me, this weekend has been a race against time.  The house itself needs a lot of work, but the Hasidic people who will buy it will tear it down and rebuild, so the work doesn't matter.  They've rebuilt all the homes on this block.  Hubby says it is because they cannot live in a home that a Gentile lived in.  How true that is, I don't know.   

I have to say that I am looking forward to the move, a new start, but I'm scared and depressed right about now.  What if they sell before we find a place?  I keep asking my landlady "How long do I have?", and she keeps telling me what I want to hear, "Oh, it is not going to happen right away.  You can probably stay until December."  At 64, I've learned to read between the lines.  Of course, she will tell me that.  She stands to lose our rent when we leave.

This weekend I went through every item of clothing we own, those hanging in the closet, as well as those packed away.  I was ruthless.  Hubby left a short while ago with six lawn and leaf bags filled with shoes and clothing belonging to both of us.  Heck, I'll never be a size 10 again, and he will never be a 32 waist.  Why hold onto them?   In hubby's case, we gave away size 32, 34, and 36.  (He's a 40 now).  In my case, we gave away size 10, 12, 14, 16, and 18 as well as small, medium, large, and extra large.   

I began sorting through books and sent my son with three large shopping bags full for a friend of his who loves astrology and such.  I've taken things from the walls and heaved those that no longer serve a purpose.  I got on the small ladder and began cleaning out the top shelves of my kitchen cabinet which I always forget are there.  Heaved all that stuff out.  It' been non-stop all weekend.  And there is still so much more to do.  Hubby is going to bring me back some packing boxes so then I can begin packing the paintings we want to keep, knickknacks, and books that are keepers. 

There will be no more first floor, backyard, absentee landlords for us.  This enough.  As I can no longer care for a garden, a window garden will be it for me.  Hopefully I will have lots of windows and sunlit rooms, not this railroad style we have now where houses are attached, leaving no windows in the living room, dining room, and kitchen.  We also choose now to go into a building.  In a building you have rights.  Here, we are at our landlady's mercy.  

As I write this post, I am of mixed emotions, looking forward to a new start, but mourning the loss of the old.  My son reminded me last night that we moved here in February of 1997.  That means, this upcoming February will be 15 years.  That's a big chunk of my life, a big chunk of the 20 years I have had with hubby.  So many memories, so many...and now, as the tears begin to flow, I think it is time to take my leave.  Just wanted to let you know if I go missing, it's because I am busy, and that's all.

Thanks for being hear to listen.  


  1. Check the landlord and tenant laws of your state. They still have to provide you with a certain period of notice before you have to vacate, even if the house sells in the interim. That's the way things are up here, anyway.

  2. With 15 years in the same place, you've been there longer than I've lived anywhere as an adult! As you're finding out, this kind of a move is definitely hard work, but also very cathartic. I've joked recently that I either need to move or clean drawers and cupboards because we've been in our house now for going on nine years! Visualize yourself putting all your treasures into your new place with all the windows, and with a new, fresh, beautiful beginning. Blessings, Mary!

  3. :0( my friend. Am feeling your pain. So sorry.

    As for how much time you have to move....I think it will be awhile. Even if it sells ASAP you have rights and the new owners have to give you a certain amount of time which is only reasonable. I'm no attorney, but I'd say you have 90 days after it sells. You could call an attorney and ask, if it would make you more secure in the knowledge that time is on your side.
    Talk about divisions in religion. A Gentile is what...contagious, dirty, evil? Where's the LOVE of man??? Just saying..I don't know if that is true either that they can't live in a house a Gentile has lived in, but if it is.... OMG It's not what he was preaching to his faithful.
    As for the packing and parting with...I have no idea where I'd even start. You are doing GOOD. Real GOOD . One day at a time my friend.
    (((hugs))) we can always use some (((hugsssssssssssss)))

  4. i feel for you...i hope you find a wonderful place to start over in ♥

  5. Hi Mary,
    Seems like we're almost in the same boat. I'm crying my eyes out because there might, just might be an offer coming in on my house. I know I need to sell and move on and some days I want to, but others I just can't see moving. Where do I go? I'm still as confused as I was last year.

    It does feel good to sort out and throw away. I hope you find a wonderful new home for you and hubby with lots of windows and sunlight coming in.

  6. I have rented for years. One place, which I loved was almost always for sale. People coming in and out of it invading my privacy. I stayed through several owners, some there for a short time, some longer but again - always for sale and I felt similar to how you feel, so sick of the insecurity of it. I too eventually moved into a building and I loved it. Yes, I missed the yard and the front porch but at least I could relax. One thing that helped me though - I checked into the rental laws in my state. Even though you have an apartment in a private home, the landlords still must abide by the law, so maybe you should find out how much time legally you have in a house sale situation. For me, I found out that I could limit the amount and the days of showings of my apartment as long as my limits were "reasonable." I started prohibiting showings on Sundays, much to the real estates chagrin. When they complained, I quoted the law, which of course they were well aware of, but were hoping that I wasn't.

    I truly hope that this is going to be a good thing for you and that you look back and realize that the move was necessary. It's just such a lot of work for you right now. still sending you all my best intentions.

  7. Mary, as you sort and pack, discard and donate, you will have moments of sweet memories, sadness and possibly anger at the situation. But it sounds like it will be the best thing for your family to remove yourselves from this toxic environment and find a safe and sane haven elsewhere. My husband and I have moved so many times during our years in the Navy. I have learned that HOME is not so much a place, but a state of mind, being with those you love. The next weeks will be tough, but can also be energizing. I am excited for you! Finally being able to plug in your Christmas tree!! Hugs!

  8. I wish you to continue to take good things/feelings, from all this getting-rid-of-stuff.

    We need to (do getting-rid-of-stuff). We know we need to. But it is too easy to *forget* about doing so, from day to day. I wish you to be able to be thankful for this move........ Because it is causing you to do this getting-rid-of-things-which-are-no-longer-necessary-to-you.

    Oh I know, not everything is EASY to get rid of. But please, try to concentrate on the lightness and freedom feelings, which this process can give you.

    Lots and lots of hugs, during the entire process...

    "For summer there, bear in mind, is a loitering gossip, that only begins to talk of leaving when September rises to go."
    ~~George Washington Cable

  9. (((Holding you in gentle Sisterly Hugs and a gentle wind to blow you where you will be most happy.)))

    My thoughts and heart are still with you and I pray for your Highest Good!

    All My Love Dear Friend!!!

  10. Good luck with finding your new home Mary, i know its not easy, let alone finding the extra money it involves, in advance rents and deposits. I hope it all works out for you and lets hope its a great new begining for you all x x x my best wishes are with you at this time of upheavel

  11. It is scary to change something after 15 years, but I have a good feeling about this Mary and it sounds like underneath your expected anxiety you do too.

    Even if a house is sold as-is there still has to be a closing and all that jazz. I would say December is a reasonable time period, if not more.