Wednesday, September 21, 2011

The Day After the Bombshell

When one door closes, another opens;
but we often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door that we do not see the one which has opened for us.
-- Alexander Graham Bell

Wanted to let you know I feel much better today, and thank you all for your kind concern.  Still not up to par, but not as depressed as I was yesterday.   I'm trying to look at the bright side of things, but a move is never easy....all that packing and sorting and heaving.  I know we will not be able to afford a big apartment as this one is, but perhaps a smaller one is what I need at this stage of my life.  It will be so much easier to care for. Choosing what will go and what will be tossed is the hard part.  I am one of those people who can find meaning in the smallest things.  

For example, 20 odd years ago when I was in rehab, I was in an art group and we were modeling with clay.  After I put together my ashtray, I took a small piece of clay and fashioned a simple little creature.  Do you know, I still have it?  I also have little cars I got from a cereal box 15 years ago...and a little green Apple Jack truck.  Then there is the Christmas and birthday cards, old classwork and certificates that are not needed.  And please, don't get me started on my books.  That's the part that is going to break my heart.  

Hubby is my rock; he always has been since the day we met.  He has a way of turning everything into a positive.  He's actually looking forward to a move and has me seeing it in the same way, or at least a part of me.  The other part finds little things to worry about....such as my cat.  She's was 19 years old in July, and moving can be traumatic to any animal.  When we moved to my current apartment 12 years ago, she went through it for about a week...walking the floors and howling at night.  She was a nervous wreck.  But, she was still fairly young then; she is an old lady now.  (Sigh) I don't know how she is going to handle this.  Any suggestions on how to make it easier on her will be greatly appreciated. 

Hubby made me see that I have been fooling myself all these years...thinking I had such a great deal.  Sure, in 12 years my rent has only gone up by $400, but look at all the added stress along the way.

(1) The electricity is so bad that I haven't been able to have my Christmas tree on for years because it blows the power.  A simple Christmas tree.  So every year I go through all that bother of setting up the tree and my Christmas village, and I really cannot enjoy them.   It's the same with ironing.  I have to turn the AC off if I am going to iron.  We've already had our bedroom remodeled, and now, last night, my son discovered an outlet in his bedroom that was actually quite hot to the touch.  The electrician is over there now.

(2)  The pipes in this house are so bad that we have been replacing them one at a time.  It seems that everytime we put some new pipes in, another leak pops up some other place.  

(3)  We've tiled the bathroom around the tub at least 4 times since we have been here.  It seems the wall is moving ever so slowly inward pressing them out.
(4)  What good is a back yard if you can't enjoy it?

(5)  The stress of dealing with the two brothers, of being in the middle of a family feud with everyone trying to gather you on their side.

(6)  The rudeness of the children on the block because we now are the minority.

And there is ever so much more.  I guess, when it's all said and done, I am a creature of habit. I don't  like change.  I was willing to overlook it all just to save myself from having to deal with starting up all over again someplace else.  We've also found several places to look at with rents the same, if not lower, than what we are paying now, so I guess it's true.  This wasn't such a great deal.  One change we have decided on is no more private homes.  We are going into a building with a super to do the repairs.  I've always looked for places with a back yard, but these are all in private homes, and when owners decide to sell, you have no rights....and as much as I love working in the yard, my fibro has gotten worse throughout the years, and I don't think I can handle it again. 

Before I close, I wanted to share something with you.   These are some rather interesting little sights around the area of my new office.  I had planned to share them yesterday, but totally forgot when my world went into a spin. 

 It's always fun to see pink elephants, bunny rabbits, and old carousel  horses while I am on my way to work. This truck always parks near the cart where I buy my fresh juices in the morning.  They are actually advertising for a thrift store.  You see everything here in New York.

This magnificent rooftop garden can be viewed from our group rooms.  We New Yorker's are a resourceful bunch.

If you think your whole life is going wrong
just because so much of it is going wrong,
then you're wrong.
Mostly when things go wrong,
they're meant to go wrong,
so we can outgrow what we have to outgrow.

-- Author Unknown --


  1. Mary Dear...

    Just thinking of the electric bill alone saving you money will put a good spin on things, not to mention water bills etc...

    I'm having shivers thinking of you being in such an old home that it is dangerous for you to inhabit!

    I am so happy you are moving! Yes, it seems like a daunting task but once you get moved and make your new place 'homey' you will feel so much better, I'm sure.

    Happy too you are feeling a bit better today! Those pics are too cute of the pink elephant. :)

    Raising my glass of sparkling water to new adventures, new beginnings, new digs, and a
    safe home!!!

    Wait till my kids clean our my drawers and closets...I still have my original Oscar Meyer Weiner Whistle, lol! Yes...I'm one of those sentimental people too, ha ha ha! Nothing wrong with that!

    Blessings on the Gentle Winds to You!

  2. Oh yes, life plays out exactly as it is meant to. There are no mistakes.
    I went through this same thing when I had to leave my beautiful home
    a couple of years ago. I tried to keep it as long as I could after Jim died but it ate up every bit of savings we had saved.

    I did not want to leave and I cried and cried at the enormity of the move.
    It was totally overwhelming to me. Luckily, my daughter dug in her
    heels and took over for me. She even arranged a realtor that sold
    my place quickly, we worked together painting and decorating and
    getting rid of all the clutter that had accumulated over the years.

    At first I was not wanting to part with anything (too sentimental).
    but once I got started purging it was absolutely freeing to my

    Of course I miss my woods and my river still but I am in a Seniors
    lifestyle building right beside my work now, so it has made things
    much easier for me. It is very quiet here and I can walk to work
    in a matter of minutes.

    You husband sounds like the perfect person to turn your fears into

    I cannot wait to read what blessings await you both.

    hugs Sharon

  3. You are one lucky woman to have such a positive man. My husband is like that too and he has saved me from going over the edge quite a few times. Once you are settled into your new place (how much fun to decorate!!!) you will wish you had done it sooner.

    Also, I couldn't love that quote at the end anymore than I already do.

  4. Glad to hear you're feeling a bit better today about the situation. Putting things in perspective always helps.

    I've found that the best types of apartments to live in are the ones with 24-hour on-site management. They tend to clamp down on noise and other BS much faster than absentee managers.

  5. Soemthing tells me that I'd be feeling the way that you do.
    CHANGE only feels conforting to me...if it's in a PiggyBank. ;0)

  6. good luck with the apartment hunt ♥

  7. Oh Mary, I am so relieved that your husband has gotten you to see "both sides of the coin," as it were. The side you have been not thinking about... The side of all the not-so-great aspects of where you've been living.

    And you're finding some possibilities, to move to.

    I know it's far from over and settled and done. I know all change has it's rough spots. But now that you can view it, from a different place...... It has to be better. Better for you and for your over-all-health.

    Gentle hugs............

  8. moving is always stressful.. I am doing it again right now.. after only one year.. be ruthless! by actually decluttering, I have found I feel lighter and so ready for the next stage of my journey - as to your cat.. have you tried butter or honey on her paws? that is something my grandma used.. apparently by the time they lick it off, they have settled into their new home. just take a deep breath, or a few.. and go forward with excitement dear Mary xo
    [I have a new blog]

  9. Oh my god - I was reminded of myself in this post I used to be so afraid of change, of upsetting my security and my routine, that I would choose to stay in a place that was more expensive than another better one. But then we have to consider the move expenses. Ugh. I feel your pain, but I also see that you are coming to (more than) terms with this and I suspect are heading for some interesting and better times! I do think that this is all happening "as it should" even though this doesn't feel comfortable for you now. You and I do not like change, and yet change happens whether we like it or not. For me, so far, change has been for the better. I'm hoping and focusing on this being so much better for you too!

  10. You have a wonderful opportunity to find a place to showcase some of your treasures! Ask the Universe for what you want...or something better ... and see what manifests. You will come through this fine, Mary, and your hubby sounds like a gem. This may be a true blessing in a very weird package! Love to you.

  11. Hi dear Mary..... You New Yorker's ARE a resourceful bunch. I've always know that. I totally agree with your beautiful soul mate. When things seen to go so wrong in one's lovely man always says...."Honey, there has gotta be a pony in this horse poop somewhere!!!." LOL LOL

    Stay on the bright side.