but we often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door that we do not see the one which has opened for us.-- Alexander Graham Bell
Wanted to let you know I feel much better today, and thank you all for your kind concern. Still not up to par, but not as depressed as I was yesterday. I'm trying to look at the bright side of things, but a move is never easy....all that packing and sorting and heaving. I know we will not be able to afford a big apartment as this one is, but perhaps a smaller one is what I need at this stage of my life. It will be so much easier to care for. Choosing what will go and what will be tossed is the hard part. I am one of those people who can find meaning in the smallest things.
For example, 20 odd years ago when I was in rehab, I was in an art group and we were modeling with clay. After I put together my ashtray, I took a small piece of clay and fashioned a simple little creature. Do you know, I still have it? I also have little cars I got from a cereal box 15 years ago...and a little green Apple Jack truck. Then there is the Christmas and birthday cards, old classwork and certificates that are not needed. And please, don't get me started on my books. That's the part that is going to break my heart.
Hubby is my rock; he always has been since the day we met. He has a way of turning everything into a positive. He's actually looking forward to a move and has me seeing it in the same way, or at least a part of me. The other part finds little things to worry about....such as my cat. She's was 19 years old in July, and moving can be traumatic to any animal. When we moved to my current apartment 12 years ago, she went through it for about a week...walking the floors and howling at night. She was a nervous wreck. But, she was still fairly young then; she is an old lady now. (Sigh) I don't know how she is going to handle this. Any suggestions on how to make it easier on her will be greatly appreciated.
Hubby made me see that I have been fooling myself all these years...thinking I had such a great deal. Sure, in 12 years my rent has only gone up by $400, but look at all the added stress along the way.
(1) The electricity is so bad that I haven't been able to have my Christmas tree on for years because it blows the power. A simple Christmas tree. So every year I go through all that bother of setting up the tree and my Christmas village, and I really cannot enjoy them. It's the same with ironing. I have to turn the AC off if I am going to iron. We've already had our bedroom remodeled, and now, last night, my son discovered an outlet in his bedroom that was actually quite hot to the touch. The electrician is over there now.
(2) The pipes in this house are so bad that we have been replacing them one at a time. It seems that everytime we put some new pipes in, another leak pops up some other place.
(3) We've tiled the bathroom around the tub at least 4 times since we have been here. It seems the wall is moving ever so slowly inward pressing them out.
(4) What good is a back yard if you can't enjoy it?
(5) The stress of dealing with the two brothers, of being in the middle of a family feud with everyone trying to gather you on their side.
(6) The rudeness of the children on the block because we now are the minority.
And there is ever so much more. I guess, when it's all said and done, I am a creature of habit. I don't like change. I was willing to overlook it all just to save myself from having to deal with starting up all over again someplace else. We've also found several places to look at with rents the same, if not lower, than what we are paying now, so I guess it's true. This wasn't such a great deal. One change we have decided on is no more private homes. We are going into a building with a super to do the repairs. I've always looked for places with a back yard, but these are all in private homes, and when owners decide to sell, you have no rights....and as much as I love working in the yard, my fibro has gotten worse throughout the years, and I don't think I can handle it again.
Before I close, I wanted to share something with you. These are some rather interesting little sights around the area of my new office. I had planned to share them yesterday, but totally forgot when my world went into a spin.
It's always fun to see pink elephants, bunny rabbits, and old carousel horses while I am on my way to work. This truck always parks near the cart where I buy my fresh juices in the morning. They are actually advertising for a thrift store. You see everything here in New York.
This magnificent rooftop garden can be viewed from our group rooms. We New Yorker's are a resourceful bunch.
If you think your whole life is going wrong
just because so much of it is going wrong,
then you're wrong.
Mostly when things go wrong,
they're meant to go wrong,
so we can outgrow what we have to outgrow.
-- Author Unknown --