Friendship

To have a good friend is
one of the highest
delights of life;
to be a good friend is
one of the noblest and
most difficult undertakings.
--Anonymous--

Yesterday as I was typing up my notes at work, I couldn't help but overhear my office mate chatting away on the phone.  She and one of her friends were making plans for a party this upcoming weekend.  They were planning this for another friend whom they had gone to school with.  And, as soon as she hung up from that call , she picked up the phone and  immediately dialed someone else, and as I listened, pondered what it would be like to have that many friends as well.

I don't think I've had a 'really' close friend since early childhood, and in my entire life, I remember only one best friend.  We met when I was five years old.  My parents had recently bought our first home, and I was in my room feeling a bit resentful.  Up to that point we had lived with my grandparents, and I had really not wanted to move.  As a matter of fact, I gave everyone a hard time before the move and on the day of the move, but my miserable mood was soon to end.  It was summer, and I was in my room with the window open when suddenly I heard, "Little girl, little girl, can you come out to play?"

My spirits lifted I ran gleefully out to the back yard, and from that day until just before we entered high school, we were an inseparable pair.  Then, just like that, Kathy's parents decided they wanted to move to a new area.  Funny, now that I think of it, I wasn't as broken up by the news as I should have been.  I guess we'd already started going our separate ways.. She the bookworm, the smart kid of the class, the nerd...and I, I was the rebel who hated school, skipped class every chance I got, and ran with what I thought was the 'cool crowd'.  (Little did I know.) I spent one weekend at Kathy's new home, but was more interested in the boy down the block than I was in her.  That was the last time we saw each other.

And, as I grew older, I had acquaintances, but now, in my senior years, I realize there was no one I could call a friend...certainly no best friend I could share things with.  In fact, I learned quickly that if I didn't want my business out there for all to see, I should keep it to myself.  And that's what I did.  For many years I had no one to share with, no one to tell the things that I have been telling all of you.  Here I have felt comfortable opening up my heart and sharing the things that I've never been able to talk about. 

Although friendship may mean different things to different people, I believe it  is basically related to our human need to connect to others....and it doesn't matter how you connect, just so you connect.   I feel that this has happened here in the wonderful land of blogs.   I've not only been able to connect, but I have, in fact,  developed  some of the deepest friendships of my life have been with people I have never seen. 

Take my friend, Elizabeth.  We met on a Yahoo group, and immediately we clicked.  She was an only child as well, and we often called ourselves the sisters that we never had.  And a year and a half ago when she passed due to liver cancer, I mourned for her as if I had known her forever.  And this is the way I feel about  you.  When one of you suddenly disappears, I am fearful, and when I get word that one of  you is ill, I worry until I get word that you are okay. And when I see one of you who is not taking care of themselves, I feel comfortable getting on my bandwagon and nagging a wee bit.

Indeed, it is true that the foundations of a friendship can be built online just as easily as they can face to face, and in my case, even easier. I've always gotten along well with others, but have had difficulty cultivating friendships, because I have problems dealing with trust.  It's not like that here in Blogland.  Here I can say anything that I want, and no one will fault me.  No one will speak behind my back or try to belittle me.  

Just wanted to take the time to let you know just how much all of you  have touched my life and how important you are to me.  Thank you for being my friends.  I love you all.

No friendship can cross the path of our destiny without leaving some mark on it forever.

Francois Mauriac