Thursday, September 2, 2010

A Short Ramble

True silence is the rest of the mind, and is to the spirit what sleep is to the body, nourishment and refreshment. --William Penn

All in all, it's been a pretty stressful week for me.  The scorching heat is back, and Mercury has been getting the best of me.  Guess he is making up for all those years he passed me by.  And, to top it off, I'm taking some vacation time.  Now, that's a good thing, isn't it?  But, as I am sure most of you know, that week at work prior to vacation can be a nightmare, especially if you are like me and want to leave nothing undone.  Heck, have you ever noticed how the work accumulates while you are gone? Don't want that and this work, too.  

Of course, some of us have work sitting on our desk that hasn't been done in two years, but not all of us are lucky enough to get away with coming to work to play video games. Clients from 2008 are still sitting in files, completing the program without having been admitted. I kid you not. Thankfully, some of us go to work to do exactly what we are paid to work.  We have what they call work ethics.  But, I am not going to go off on a tangent about my office mate today.  That's old news, and you have all heard that before.  No, in today's post I will have nothing more to say about her.  Today's post is more about self-healing. 

Our world is so chaotic; life is chaotic. Full of distractions, people crowded round us, problems that we have to deal with.  Day in, day out...we're bombarded with things, and sometimes we may feel like we want to explode.  Stress is related to living. Most times we simply deal with it, but there are times when anxiety or pressure seems beyond our capacity to cope. How do we heal ourselves when the stress gets that bad?    

Yesterday, it all seemed to catch up to me. I have to tell you, I was a ticking time bomb yesterday.  There is just so much to be done.  Bad time to prepare for vacation.  Monthly reports as well as all the other paperwork. And we have some of the most demanding clients.  I don't blame them, of course; it's my bosses.  They spoil them by giving in to their every demand.  Take the open door policy, for example.  I hate it.  Part of recovery is learning how to deal with responsibility.  How are we teaching them to be responsible if they are allowed week after week to miss their scheduled appointment and come knocking on your door when it is convenient for them...and if you say you cannot see them, they go running to your boss. Imagine sitting there swamped with paperwork only to be interrupted all day long.

So it was that when I hit the bed last night, I couldn't stop my mind from many things that have to be done, so little time to do it. A tropical storm/hurricane on its way Friday.  What if I can't make it in.  Only one day to do it all.  Superwoman, I am least not anymore.  Age is catching up to me.

I tossed, I turned.  I watched the clock.  I could always have gotten up and watched some television, but I love crime dramas...but I don't think that was quite what I needed last night.  What I needed was some solitude...and what better way to find solitude than to immerse myself in nature, in the dark, stillness of the ultimate favorite way of releasing all those pent-up feelings. I always feel better when I've communed with Her, but lately, with this heat, it's been a little difficult to spend much time outdoors.

Nature gives us our best chance to be alone and still, and despite the heat of the day, it wasn't all that bad out last night.  It was rather comfortable with the gentlest of breezes. At 3 AM it was only me and the night creatures...and the darkness, that wonderful darkness of night that surrounds you and shuts you off from the rest of the world.  Solitude at its best.
And the miracle of solitude is that it clears the mind and the  spirit. It used to be that I could never be alone; I always felt so lonely, but as the years passed by, and my self-esteem continued to grow, i came to learn that solitude so different from loneliness. When you are lonely, you become conscious of your own separation. You hurt from your inner depths. Solitude, on the other hand, can feel like a homecoming to your own deepest belonging.  Peacefulness...Serenity...the cares of the day washed away in the sheer pleasure of being one with the healing power of, so healing.  And eventually, I was able to return to bed and get a little rest before I tackle the world once again.

So tell me, what's your favorite stress reliever?

Night, the beloved.  Night, when words fade and things come alive.  When the destructive analysis of day is done, and all that is truly important becomes whole and sound again.  When man reassembles his fragmentary self and grows with the calm of a tree.--Antoine de Saint-ExupĂ©ry


  1. Solitude does it for me too! That's when my undivided attention can be given to my sense of inner connection instead of being focused outward to other people's needs and reality.

  2. same here...i hope today won't be so bad and you get to enjoy your vacation

  3. ~the river for me...hearing and watching the water rush by...takes all away! mary i wish for you a quiet mind now and in the coming and repleshiment during your vacation hours...much l♥ve and light upon you and yours always~

  4. Ah Sweet glad I've found this other aspect of you here on this blog...
    I too find solitude in nature...I don't have to do a thing but just 'be' in it...witnessing the beauty, the wildness, the animals and birds, the plantlife...and my favorite place is by the water's edge as you well know...
    I pray for you days of rejuvenation in whatever way you seek it out on your vacation.
    Sounds to me like you are really needing it.

    Blessings Dear Heart and Much Needed Rest to You!

  5. There are them that DO and them that DON'T.
    Like myself... you are in the DO category.
    The difference between the slackers & us are
    we have a concience !!!
    Okay enough on that subject.

    Wishing you a restful vacation.
    It won't be long before there will be more hours of darkness. :0)

  6. Oh I'm so glad you got peace and quiet outdoors! I was sooooooo afraid that it would be another case of, that being spoiled too.

    How do I relieve stress? Perhaps, by writing posts like mine of today........

  7. Mary- I had an evening quite similar but it was storming here and I would have woke the neighborhood if I had been out in it. As I sit here now I hear the thunder rolling in.

    I don't think I fell asleep until after 3 and had to be back up at 7. I'm dragging still, but the doc said it was only viral.

  8. Your vacation can't get here soon enough! Sounds like you are having some real rough days and now nights. So glad that you were able to get outdoors and it was enjoyable. Water is my way to relieve stress, bath with lots of candles and incense, the ocean, the pool as long as it is water. Wishing you a stress free week!