Good morning, everyone. It's a dreary day here in the city. Humid, but not hot so it's not really that bad. Today, I really wanted to call in sick, but here I am. I guess I should learn to go with my feelings because somehow, from home to here I lost my $20 metrocard. The problem is that if I went with my feelings, I would NEVER come to work. Now, I don't want anyone to get me wrong...I love my clients. The greatest reward in this line of work is a success story...which, sadly, are rare. Addictions are hard to break, and when you spend your life living a certain way, it is so, so hard to change...
"Reality is what we take to be true.
What we take to be true is what we believe.
What we believe is based upon our perceptions.
What we perceive depends on what we look for.
What we look for depends upon what we think.
What we think depends upon what we perceive.
What we perceive determines what we believe.
What we believe determines what we take to be true.
What we take to be true is our reality."
The image we have of ourselves is alive and lives in our minds. We are what we perceive ourselves to be. Our reality is based on our perception of it. For those of us who were raised in dysfunctional families, it is hard to change. We have come to believe what we have been taught:
"I am not good enough."
"I can't do something like that."
"I am not smart; I will never amount to anything."
"I will always be a failure."
"I am fat; I am ugly"...the list goes on and on with all these negative beliefs we have about ourselves. The Toltecs call it a parasite that lives within us...something that eats away at us...gnawing, gnawing...until we are but a shell of the person we were born to be. They believe that this life is a dream, and that the dream we are having (our reality) is created out of our beliefs and thoughts. The Toltec sees his life as a work of art...and she/he is the artist.
At the core level, we are responsible for everything we experience in our lives. The suffering and the drama in our lives is a result of what we have learned. If we believe we are a 'victim' will continue to experience nothing but pain and frustration in our lives. .My clients are always saying things like "It's too late for me" or I will never be able to do something like that". They just don't understand that what you tell yourself becomes your reality. I want to cry out, "Look at me; look at how many years had to pass me by before I finally got it...before I stopped being the victim...yes, I was a victim, too...the victim of my own insecurities, the beliefs that have become my reality." But it just doesn't work that way. Rebuilding a damaged life takes time; it takes commitment on the part of the person who has been damaged.
In the counseling field, I have learned that supporting other people who believe they are victims will never help them be free of that mentality...and consequent suffering. It is only be rejecting our victim mentality as a means of relating to the world that we can know ourselves as the powerful individuals that we really are. Our life is a work of art, and we are the artist. Begin now by examining the beliefs you operate under. Notice if any make you feel restricted or depressed. Question those beliefs...reject them if they are causing you pain. Only by rejecting our victim mentality as a means of relating to the world that we can know ourselves to be the powerful individuals we really are.
And, let me apologize if this seems to be rambling; if you believe so, then it is. I've run a group, seen clients, and keep coming back to this so forgive me if I have repeated myself in any way.