Tuesday, September 1, 2009

In September

A Perfect Brooklyn morning in the fall.

September 1st. Fall is my time of the year. September has been my month. I used to wait eagerly for school to start so I could show off my new clothes. Now, with Labor Day right around the corner, it is time to start packing away and digging out. This year I am going to give away. Each season I have clothes that I dig out, wash, dry, fold or hang, and then they just sit until the next season comes round...and this has become almost a tradition with me. This year, in the spring, I packed up two shopping bags to give away, and where are they now? Still in the shopping bags waiting to be packed away until next spring.

I am feeling a little depressed this September, though. I am not getting around as I once was. I loved to go for my long walks in the fall, and now they are a thing of the past. I'm getting up in years, not an old lady yet although I feel like one, but it seems like everything is catching up to me. I suffer from fibro and arthritis in the back. Until a few months ago, I didn't let anything stop me. I was able to grin and bear with it, but now, it is getting just so painful to walk. I guess the time is coming when I am going to have to 'give in' and take a prescription medication.

All and all, though, it truly is a wonderful day...and I don't have to go for long walks to enjoy the weather. I have my porch, my yard with its myriad of creatures....And a full moon is fast approaching. Yes, there is still much to love about life.


  1. wow, what a beautiful sight to see first thing in the morning. i haven't seen the sun rise over the horizon in a long time. everything is blocked by these huge skyscrapers around me.

    walks do really help lift the spirits. even though i'm young, i have a chronic illness that prevents me from gettin' up and out as much as i would like so i know where you're coming from. it's difficult for my peers to understand how much i need to put into just getting up and forcing myself out the door.

    but you're also right about how despite the negative things, there's still so much left to love about life and about just being alive.

  2. It's hard when you can't do the things you want to do. I live by an elevated train station and sometimes in the morning when I am going to work, I wonder how long I will be able to go to work. I understand where you are coming from that peers don't understand. My son doesn't understand. I tell you what. This month Pagan Pride Day will be held downtown. Let's make ourselves a promise to force ourselves out to go. I rarely leave the house on the weekend anymore. I find that walking on the concrete really irritates my condition. But that looks like it's gonna be fun.

  3. Ooh, thanks for the heads up! I didn't know about this event. Yes, we should both force ourselves to go. It does sound like fun. I'm going to hold you to this promise! Post pictures as evidence! Hehehe!!

  4. p.s. it's interesting you mentioned that your son doesn't understand because if anyone, your closest family members should. but i can also relate to this because no one in my family (except my mother) is able to understand either. my father and brother just don't seem to "get it." they have no idea how hard it is for me on a daily basis because from the outside, i "seem fine." (that is, i am not walking around in bandages and oozing blood or something so obviously physical). and when my friends suddenly decide to put on shoes and go out for a smoothie run on a whim, they just don't "get" why I can't come with them. Going out is a "process" for me that i don't think anyone would ever truly understand unless they too suffer from a similar ailment.

  5. I think my son doesn't want to face that his mom is getting old. Yes, going out is really a process. In the house, the pain is so much less...almost non-existent, but when I start walking on the concrete, my knees, my hips, and my back all start aching. But, I love getting out and doing things, and it really hurts that I can't anymore. Last Friday I had an appointment with the dentist on 71st Street in upper Manhattan, and there is a great Barnes & Nobel on 66th. I had planned all day to go there after the dentist, but by then, it was just so tortuous walking to the train station that I said, "Forget it" about the bookstore. I know there is medication, but I really don't like the side effects listed for it.