Friday This and That

When there is light in the soul, there is beauty in the person.

When there is beauty in the person, there is harmony in the house.

When there is harmony in the house, there is order in the nation.

When there is order in the nation, there is peace in the world.

 Chinese proverb

Friday? Already? Time sure does fly when you are having fun.  Sometimes the days just seem to run on together.  Not that I am complaining.  Retirement has been the best thing that ever happened to me. It's great having to have the freedom to choose whether or not I go out or not--to roll over and catch an extra wink or to wake up to a showery morning that "I don't want to go out in this" and not have to call anyone with an excuse. I am loving it.

After the episode on the bus the other day, I found myself a bit leery of getting on the bus.  I'm not a confrontational person, and I really let the episode effect me more than I should have.  But, I overcame my hesitancy and went to the program.  And I am so glad I did.  Thursday is always meditation class, and usually for the first half hour or so, we talk about about issues pertaining to spirituality, aging, dealing with emotions...basically whatever should come up.  Yesterday, as if she knew what I had gone through and how badly I had been hurt, she handed us a reading on 'Bad Memory' and I would like to share some of it with you...

'Happiness is good health  and a bad memory.'

Ingrid Bergman

Basically, we began by discussing the various little tactics we use to help us remember the little things we have to do.  Then the discussion ran into our good memories, and how important these good memories contribute to our general well being.  The second part of the reading then went on to discuss those feelings that we need to let go of. The reading went as follows...

'We would be happier, though, if we could forget some things.  Let's forget about those occasions when people betrayed us, made us cry, or sinned against us.  Let's forget about those times when we embarrassed ourselves, acted meanly, or let ourselves down.  There's no point in wallowing in such memories--and plenty of reasons to move on.'

And I realized that I had not yet let go, and the incident continued to play over and over again in my head. I also realized that part of my anger was this feeling that I had not only embarrassed myself by responding to this woman, but I had also let myself down by letting go of the good feelings I had held all morning long.  So, I spoke about it, and with the help of my instructor and my classmates, I realized that holding on was only going to cause me pain.  We then went on to discuss how there will always be negatives in our lives, no one is immune, but what is important is how we deal with them.  The instructor then led us through a 'letting go' meditation. Wonderful.  I left feeling so renewed.

Life really is short and living each day to the fullest is important. We just never know. Allowing others, and their baggage, to drag us down only causes us misery. And now, here we are entering the weekend with another war bearing down on us, and peace seems all oh, so much further away. (Sigh) Let us each take time this weekend to light a candle and pray that clear heads prevail.

Live your life while you have it. Life is a splendid gift. There is nothing small in it. For the greatest things grow by God's Law out of the smallest. But to live your life you must discipline it. You must not fritter it away in "fair purpose, erring act, inconstant will" but make your thoughts, your acts, all work to the same end and that end, not self but God. That is what we call character.

Florence Nightingale

Wishing you all a blessed weekend.

Thursday Ramble

When we look deeply into

the heart of a flower, we

see clouds, sunshine,

minerals, time, the earth,

and everything else

in the cosmos in it.

Without clouds there

could be no rain,

and without rain

there would be no flower.

Thich Nhat Hanh

Well, the rains came earlier this week, and the humidity has finally broken.  What a relief!  I think I could easily deal with summer if it wasn't for that heaviness in the air.  Hubby had a hard time. He pretty much stayed in throughout the weekend, and when he did go out, he'd come home and immediately use his pump.  I sure hope  that that was the end of it, summer's last hurrah. Took the following picture as I waited for the bust in the morning.  Isn't this a lovely sky, so clear and blue.

It started out as a beautiful day indeed, and I was really enjoying it.  I rose early and went to the center to play some bingo and pay for the bus trip to Atlantic City on September 18th.  I'm hoping that it will be much cooler this time around , and I can enjoy the boardwalk as I had wanted to last month, but it was way too hot to do much of anything. About halfway through bingo began thinking that as soon as the game was over, I had to check out the thrift shop on the second floor. I just knew there was going to be something there for me today, and there certainly was. As soon as I entered I saw him, this beautiful Angel music box.  It plays "Hark! The Herald Angels Sing".  He only cost me $3, but now if I can just figure out where I am going to put him.

Then, at lunch, I met the sweetest little lady.  Her name was Ernestine and she was from Germany, but had been in the States for many years...but, she still had her German accent.  She had a little round face, rosy cheeks, and chin length hair that was pulled back in a barrette.  She not only looked like a child, but also had a very childlike voice.  It was a true to joy to speak with her and listen to her stories.
 
I wish I could say that my entire day progressed as well, but unfortunately, I ran into a total idiot who was hell-bent on destroying my day.  They say it takes all kinds, and I  am sorry to say I ran into the most negative person on the way home allowed her to take me to a place I don't usually go. And I could kick myself in the butt for allowing it to happen.

It all started when I got on the bus to go home. It was a wee bit crowded, and no seats were available.  I reached out to hang onto the pole, and some 'moron' yelled at me to watch her foot. Now, I hadn't touched her foot, and when she pointed it out, I moved to the other side and held on. 

Before I continue, let me explain New York buses to you.  There are three seats on either side of the bus in the front that are reserved for the handicapped and elderly.  Thus, if a young person is seated, and one of the above gets on the bus, it is the law that the younger person must relinquish their seat. If they don't, and a police officer catches them, they can be fined $500, but, of course, an officer is never around.  Well, yesterday, there was a pregnant woman, the moron, and an elderly man seated on one side.  On the other side were two elderly women and a young woman in her early twenties. One of the older woman  saw that I was having a problem standing and started to get up, but I motioned her to stay seated, that I wasn't going far, and I'd never forgive myself if she fell. I remarked that it is the young, healthy people who should get up.  Wrong thing to say for me because it was just what the moron was waiting for. 

Moron: "That's my daughter, and she doesn't have to get up for you or anyone else."

Me: "Those seats are reserved for the elderly and the handicapped."

Moron: "It doesn't say that". In response I pointed out the sign. "It says it right there on that sign over your daughter's head." Moron continues: "Just because you carry a cane doesn't mean you really need it."  By now I am getting irate and falling into her nonsense. Big mistake.  I should have known better, but I was boiling. " For your information, I not only live in pain every day of my life, but I am also a senior citizen."  Actually, I really didn't have have to explain anything to her but by now I was feeding into it. Of course, she just shrugged that one off. "That doesn't make you special."

Her daughter then says something to her in Spanish, and I hear the word 'loco' and points to her head and laughs.  I know what that means.  Moron: "She is probably just one of those miserable old widows.  What she needs is a man.All those old widows are like that."  Where the heck did that come from?  And yet again, I fed into it. "You don't even know me.  I happen to have a wonderful man in my life. I could easily say the same about  you. Obviously, something is making you miserable." Oh boy, what was I doing?  That is NOT me, but these things just don't happen to me, and I am afraid to say I wasn't handling  it well.  

Moron: "I happen to have a man in my life who takes care of me very well."  Now I realize. This is going too far.  I was falling right into her trap.  She WANTED this.  She obviously got her kicks from instigating confrontations.  I should know better. Not only that, the woman was twice my size and these type of disagreements have often become physical.  I decided I'd better back off, and I said, "I tell you what.  I'm not bothering you.  Just leave me alone, okay."  Well, she continued the tirade to her daughter and wasn't going to let go.  She was aching for another response, but I'd had enough. I didn't want to get hurt.  

Finally, that seemingly endless ride was over, and I walked into my apartment shaking like a leaf. It was then that the tears began to flow.  When I get that angry, crying is my only way to let it go.  Later, after my tears had been spent, and I was feeling better, I thought about the incident.  Why did the bus driver allow this to go on?  It is part of his job to make sure that the rules are followed, and most bus drivers do make sure that an elderly or handicapped person are not made to stand. All this guy did was put on that stupid recorded announcement, "When a handicapped or elderly person stands near you, please give them your seat.  Courtesy begins with you."  Was he fearful of an altercation as well? I mean, when I think of it, both the moron and her daughter were intimidating people. 

Oh, you don't know. I really had to struggle to push the vengeful thoughts from my head. I really wanted to wish the worst on her, but stopped myself. Thoughts can be powerful, and no matter what, one should never wish harm on another. Karma will find her in the long run.

The best thing to give your enemy is forgiveness; to an opponent,

tolerance; to a friend, your heart; to your child, a good example;

to your father, deference; to your mother, conduct that will make her

proud of you; to yourself, respect; to all people, charity.

John Balfour

Thanks for letting me share.

Lovely Blog Award

 

Over the weekend I was honored to receive the above award from Greek Witch. You will find her over at Dreaming of Rosemary. I don't know if she realizes this or not, but hers was one of the first blogs I began to follow when I discovered the wonderful world of blogs. 

Okay, now to the rules. I  have to tell you 7 things about me that  haven't previously shared with you. This is a hard one because I have always been pretty much open about my life, but after giving it some thought, I did come up with the following.

1. One of my first jobs when I moved to the city was tending bar. I was still what you would call a 'country bumpkin', but I learned how to how to make all the drinks and actually quite enjoyed myself. Who would have guessed that,  thirty years later, I my career would be trying to help those who spend too much time in a bar stay sober.

2. I am addicted to crime dramas--Law and Order, Graceland, CSI, Cold Case, Criminal Minds. I can watch them all over and over again. I am in 'seventh heaven' when I see a marathon is coming on.

3. I don't like candy anymore. Is that something we outgrow when we get old? Is it a lack of hormone sort of thing?  I don't know when it happened, but today you will never find me eating a piece of candy.  Too bad that doesn't go for all sweets.

4. I am addicted to vanilla sugar wafer cookies. Can't get enough of them.

5. I once saw a UFO.  It was when I was in my teens, and I along with several others were hanging out at a  haunted barn.  Suddenly a light began to rise from a steep cliff nearby. Now, when I tell the story, people say it was probably a farmer with a flashlight, but you'd have to see that cliff to understand.  Impossible for a human to navigate.

6.  I am addicted to online bingo games.  I play bingo everyday at the center...for real money...but I like my online games best.

7.  I am actually a fussy eater. I don't like fish, seafood, asparagus mushrooms. or cheesecake amongst other many other things.

And, now I have the honor of presenting the award to seven other bloggers. This is a hard one as well, because you all deserve this award. 

http://eilisinwonderland.blogspot.com/

http://eat-drink-andbemary.blogspot.com/

http://mygrammassouljo.blogspot.com/

http://earthenmagic.blogspot.com/

http://thewildmagnolia-southmoonunder.blogspot.com/

http://mywitcheryside.blogspot.com/ 

http://octobersnovember.blogspot.com/ 

Like I said, this was so difficult to make these choices because you all have a special place in my heart and deserve this award.

Tuesday Musing

"By all these lovely tokens
September days are here,
With summer’s best of weather
And autumn’s best of cheer."

  Helen Hunt Jackson

September, the ninth month of the Gregorian calendar and the first month of Autumn.  The unofficial end of summer has come. In just a short time, the official end will be upon us. As I sit back and sip my morning coffee, I find myself pondering all the changes that have come over my life this summer--retirement, illness, the steady climb back to health, the worry and strain of unknowing, the steady deterioration of hubby's health.  Oh, my, so much in such a short time.  So, why am I feeling so restless?  September  should be  the time we begin preparing to go within as the time of darkness fast approaches.  Why am I looking for more?  Why don't I feel content? I'm wanting to enroll in a course, to learn more about my ancestors....I'm wanting so much that my mind is a jumble at the present time, and I keep looking for things that will hold my interest. I really don't know what I want to do. A restlessness has set in.

A new family moved upstairs over the weekend. That apartment has been empty for months.  Hubby and I think the rent may have been too high.  See, each time someone moves, the landlord is able to raise the rent a little higher.   Fortunately for us, the person before us in our apartment lived here over 15 years so it was pretty well stabilized. Our new neighbors seem to be very quiet.  Even on moving day they were much more quiet than the animals that lived there previously.

One thing I am finding hard to understand, though. Each apartment in this building has one of those new powerful toilets that flush so loud that every apartment within hearing distance knows everyone else's business. For example, I always knew when the old family were heading off to bed or when they rose in the morning, because one of the first and last things people before and after sleep is use the toilet. It used to make me self-conscious, but I've grown used to it now. The point is, I've yet to hear the upstairs toilet flush. What's up?  Do they not need to relieve themselves?  If so, I would love a tip to help make it through the night.  I am really confused about this one. Hubby jokingly says I focus on the strangest things. I guess he is right.

Yesterday we had macaroni salad, watercress and cucumber salad, and ribs grilled on my George Foreman. For dessert we had slices of watermelon. I'd really wanted a cake, but decided against it.  Must really begin taking off these pounds. And, I, aside from my cooking, spent the entire day watching a Ghost Whisperer marathon. It has been quite awhile since I have seen that show.

September is the month that is sacred to Persephone and  the Norse god of thunder, Thor. The sun dips lower in the sky, and the evenings are cooling down.  In the Northern sky, the Big Dipper hangs low. The birthstone of this month is the sapphire, often thought to possess magical powers. According to an ancient superstition....

A maiden born when autumn leaves

Are rustling in September's breeze 

A sapphire on her brow should bind —

'Twill cure diseases of the mind."

We enter the month in the astrological sign of Virgo. The flower for this month is the Aster. In Latin, its name means star. According to a beautiful old Greek myth, there was a time when the gods lived on earth amongst the humans during a golden age when it was a peaceful place to live. But, then, humans became greedy and began to fight with each other, and the gods abandoned the earth. Astraea, the star maiden, the virgin goddess who represented justice and innocence, was the last to leave, and when she departed, she became the constellation of Virgo, the virgin. It is said that when she gazed down upon the earth, she wept because she saw no stars there...and  as her grieving tears fell to earth, they turned into asters.

"The birds laugh loud and long together
When Fashion's followers speed away
At the first cool breath of autumn weather.
Why, this is the time, cry the birds, to stay!
When the deep calm sea and the deep sky over
Both look their passion through sun-kissed space,
As a blue-eyed maid and her blue-eyed lover
Might each gaze into the other's face."

- Ella Wheeler Wilcox, The End of Summer-

Happy Labor Day

Each morning sees some task begin,
Each evening sees it close;
Something attempted, some done,
Has earned a night’s repose.

Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

Good morning, everyone.  Can you believe it?  It's Labor Day already, the unofficial end of summer.  Personally, I am not sorry to see it go this year.  It has been a rough one.  Perhaps if I lived in the country I would feel differently, but it can be brutal here in the city where we spend our day on concrete and tall buildings block the breeze.  I've not tried nor personally seen, but I have heard that when it is hot enough, you can fry and egg on the sidewalk.  

Labor Day, the first Monday in September was first celebrated on September 5th, 1882, in New York City as a means of showing respect for the American worker. It was a day of picnic and parades, and although not much has changed in that respect, to most of us, Labor Day is nothing more than a three-day weekend to enjoy.  We engage in picnics, head for the beach to enjoy the last official day it is open, and travel to our summer homes.  For some of us, it is a day of sales, and we anxiously head out to the malls to see what kind of loot we can find. Wasn't always that way, though.  When I was going up, we never even thought of shopping on Labor Day. Anyway, stores remained closed on holidays, even if we wanted to shop, we couldn't.  Boy, times sure have changed haven't they.?

After fifty years of toil, this is my first year that I am not out there in the workforce, and what I am wishing on this day is that our government and those who run it to honor us who did our time as well.  Take Medicare, for example. Almost fifty dollars a month was taken out of each of my paychecks to pay for Medicare.  So, why should I have to pay almost $200 for medical insurance now while those who have never worked are handed medicaid and don't have to pay a cent?  But, I am not going to get into that now.  

Saturday was a stay-in day.  Dusted, swept, mopped, and slept.  Sunday morning I headed out to Church and then headed to the fruit stand.  Not doing anything special today.  I've planned an in-house barbecue with ribs, macaroni salad, potato salad, tossed salad, and for hubby, gondulas and rice.  I figured I'd better put my George Foreman to use.  It's become one of those items that I so badly wanted...until I finally got it.  Then it became just another item taking space on a shelf.  I'd use it more often, but it is such a pain in the butt to clean.  Anyone have any suggestions to make it easier?

Speaking of tips. One thing that saddens me is that the time of summer fruits is almost over, and I am not too keen on the winter fruits.  And, I am doing so good getting fruit into my diet.  I don't want to stop now. Anyone have any tips about freezing fruits such as blueberries and strawberries? Unfortunately, they didn't have any of those little black table grapes I love so much. I guess once this summer is all I will see of them as extra tables were set up for apples of every kind imaginable, a sure sign that fall is on its way.

(My evening snack.  Gone are the days when I'd have a huge bowl of ice cream or an enormous piece of cake)

Wishing you all a very happy Labor Day.

Under the spreading chestnut tree
The village smithy stands;
The smith a mighty man is he
With large and sinewy hands.
And the muscles of his brawny arms
Are strong as iron bands.
He earns whatever he can,
His brow is wet with honest sweat,
And looks the whole world in the face,
For he owes not any man.

Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

Friday Morning

Activity and rest are two vital aspects of life. To find a balance in them
is a skill in itself. Wisdom is knowing when to have rest, when to have
activity, and how much of each to have. Finding them in each other--
activity in rest and rest in activity - is the ultimate freedom.

Sri Sri Ravi Shankar tR
Celebrating Silence

As Friday morning rolls around, it occurs to me that  I have yet another weekend with nothing planned. Don't get me wrong. I'm not complaining about it at all.  It's nice that those days that I had to accomplish a week's worth of housework and errands in two days are gone. Oh, how I remember those cooking marathon Saturday's where I barely had a chance to sit. Would never trade in my idle Saturday to go through that again.

Yesterday in our group on yoga and meditation, we discussed how we felt about being a senior, and the many ways we can make these golden years better for ourselves. Last week we had discussed the importance of staying active and not allowing ourselves to fall into a rut. This week we discussed the benefits of keeping a healthy balance in our lives.  The weekly question was 'what areas your life do you need to focus on to maintain a balanced and healthy lifestyle?' And, we were all in unanimous agreement that while keeping an active lifestyle is one key to health, it is equally important to take time out for rest and relaxation as well. This is a lesson that I am finally beginning to learn.

And so, this weekend, I plan to put into practice what I have learned...and not feel guilty about it.  So what that my closet needs cleaning, and the bookcase needs to be dusted.  They can wait until I take care of 'me'.  That's been a long time coming.

Wishing you all a safe and restful weekend. See you on Monday.

 Life is best enjoyed when time periods are evenly divided between
labor, sleep, and recreation...all people should spend one-third
of their time in recreation which is rebuilding,
voluntary activity, never idleness.

Brigham Young

Thursday Rant...Sort Of

When life's problems seem overwhelming, look around and see

what other people are coping with. You may consider yourself fortunate.

Ann Landers 

I played hooky yesterday. The air was heavy,  hot, and humid with threats of rain,  and I just didn't feel like going out. Instead, I spent the day taking care of practical matters... contacting the Union regarding the holdup is in my pension and basically making some calls and doing some research on what other programs is available for a seniors. And here I thought I had it all together.  Boy, was I fooled.  Never did I realize how complicated this whole retirement thing is. Applying for Social Security was easy.  The worst was yet to come.

I've still not chosen a plan to offset my medicare, so, at this point,I have no prescription plan nor dental. There are just so many to choose from, and all of them seem to offer the world.  Knowing that I'll be tied in for a year, has me scared about jumping into something. I want to choose what is best for my needs.   Fortunately, I have enough medication to last me until the end of October, but I still have to act quickly. 

Everything is tied to everything else.  Food stamps, HEAP, the state insurance program,  and Scrie are tied to my income which is tied to my pension plan. I cannot do anything with any of them until I have a letter regarding my pension income.  Income is also tied to  how much I pay Medicare and the plan that I choose. Everything has to be done in order, and I am just so confused at this point.

Even my rent increase has me more than a wee bit confused.  I received a letter yesterday about my new lease. I cannot believe two years is almost up. How quickly it passed by. The letter says that if I renew for one year  I will pay $1159, but if I choose a two year lease my rent will be $1201. Does this mean if I sign for two years I have to pay $1201 for both years? Personally, if this is the way it is, I don't understand why anyone would  sign anything but a one year lease if that is the case.  Somehow, it seems to me the tenant is being ripped if they choose a two year lease. I've never had a lease before.  Can anyone explain why it is done this way?

I don't want to turn this into a rant, but I when I think of my clients, not those that 'really' need the help  because there are many who do need help to survive.  Mental illness and drug addiction are a b..tch. This is directed toward those, such as my young drug dealer who has nothing physical or mental wrong with him and has never worked a day in his life, yet has many more entitlements than I do, and I worked for fifty years. He plays the system to get what he wants, and the system goes right along with his game.  I just don't understand a system that will basically throw out a red carpet for these young, healthy people who are playing the system and make it so difficult for those of us who have more than paid our dues.  There has to be a better way.

To be continued....