Thursday Ramble

When we look deeply into

the heart of a flower, we

see clouds, sunshine,

minerals, time, the earth,

and everything else

in the cosmos in it.

Without clouds there

could be no rain,

and without rain

there would be no flower.

Thich Nhat Hanh

Well, the rains came earlier this week, and the humidity has finally broken.  What a relief!  I think I could easily deal with summer if it wasn't for that heaviness in the air.  Hubby had a hard time. He pretty much stayed in throughout the weekend, and when he did go out, he'd come home and immediately use his pump.  I sure hope  that that was the end of it, summer's last hurrah. Took the following picture as I waited for the bust in the morning.  Isn't this a lovely sky, so clear and blue.

It started out as a beautiful day indeed, and I was really enjoying it.  I rose early and went to the center to play some bingo and pay for the bus trip to Atlantic City on September 18th.  I'm hoping that it will be much cooler this time around , and I can enjoy the boardwalk as I had wanted to last month, but it was way too hot to do much of anything. About halfway through bingo began thinking that as soon as the game was over, I had to check out the thrift shop on the second floor. I just knew there was going to be something there for me today, and there certainly was. As soon as I entered I saw him, this beautiful Angel music box.  It plays "Hark! The Herald Angels Sing".  He only cost me $3, but now if I can just figure out where I am going to put him.

Then, at lunch, I met the sweetest little lady.  Her name was Ernestine and she was from Germany, but had been in the States for many years...but, she still had her German accent.  She had a little round face, rosy cheeks, and chin length hair that was pulled back in a barrette.  She not only looked like a child, but also had a very childlike voice.  It was a true to joy to speak with her and listen to her stories.
 
I wish I could say that my entire day progressed as well, but unfortunately, I ran into a total idiot who was hell-bent on destroying my day.  They say it takes all kinds, and I  am sorry to say I ran into the most negative person on the way home allowed her to take me to a place I don't usually go. And I could kick myself in the butt for allowing it to happen.

It all started when I got on the bus to go home. It was a wee bit crowded, and no seats were available.  I reached out to hang onto the pole, and some 'moron' yelled at me to watch her foot. Now, I hadn't touched her foot, and when she pointed it out, I moved to the other side and held on. 

Before I continue, let me explain New York buses to you.  There are three seats on either side of the bus in the front that are reserved for the handicapped and elderly.  Thus, if a young person is seated, and one of the above gets on the bus, it is the law that the younger person must relinquish their seat. If they don't, and a police officer catches them, they can be fined $500, but, of course, an officer is never around.  Well, yesterday, there was a pregnant woman, the moron, and an elderly man seated on one side.  On the other side were two elderly women and a young woman in her early twenties. One of the older woman  saw that I was having a problem standing and started to get up, but I motioned her to stay seated, that I wasn't going far, and I'd never forgive myself if she fell. I remarked that it is the young, healthy people who should get up.  Wrong thing to say for me because it was just what the moron was waiting for. 

Moron: "That's my daughter, and she doesn't have to get up for you or anyone else."

Me: "Those seats are reserved for the elderly and the handicapped."

Moron: "It doesn't say that". In response I pointed out the sign. "It says it right there on that sign over your daughter's head." Moron continues: "Just because you carry a cane doesn't mean you really need it."  By now I am getting irate and falling into her nonsense. Big mistake.  I should have known better, but I was boiling. " For your information, I not only live in pain every day of my life, but I am also a senior citizen."  Actually, I really didn't have have to explain anything to her but by now I was feeding into it. Of course, she just shrugged that one off. "That doesn't make you special."

Her daughter then says something to her in Spanish, and I hear the word 'loco' and points to her head and laughs.  I know what that means.  Moron: "She is probably just one of those miserable old widows.  What she needs is a man.All those old widows are like that."  Where the heck did that come from?  And yet again, I fed into it. "You don't even know me.  I happen to have a wonderful man in my life. I could easily say the same about  you. Obviously, something is making you miserable." Oh boy, what was I doing?  That is NOT me, but these things just don't happen to me, and I am afraid to say I wasn't handling  it well.  

Moron: "I happen to have a man in my life who takes care of me very well."  Now I realize. This is going too far.  I was falling right into her trap.  She WANTED this.  She obviously got her kicks from instigating confrontations.  I should know better. Not only that, the woman was twice my size and these type of disagreements have often become physical.  I decided I'd better back off, and I said, "I tell you what.  I'm not bothering you.  Just leave me alone, okay."  Well, she continued the tirade to her daughter and wasn't going to let go.  She was aching for another response, but I'd had enough. I didn't want to get hurt.  

Finally, that seemingly endless ride was over, and I walked into my apartment shaking like a leaf. It was then that the tears began to flow.  When I get that angry, crying is my only way to let it go.  Later, after my tears had been spent, and I was feeling better, I thought about the incident.  Why did the bus driver allow this to go on?  It is part of his job to make sure that the rules are followed, and most bus drivers do make sure that an elderly or handicapped person are not made to stand. All this guy did was put on that stupid recorded announcement, "When a handicapped or elderly person stands near you, please give them your seat.  Courtesy begins with you."  Was he fearful of an altercation as well? I mean, when I think of it, both the moron and her daughter were intimidating people. 

Oh, you don't know. I really had to struggle to push the vengeful thoughts from my head. I really wanted to wish the worst on her, but stopped myself. Thoughts can be powerful, and no matter what, one should never wish harm on another. Karma will find her in the long run.

The best thing to give your enemy is forgiveness; to an opponent,

tolerance; to a friend, your heart; to your child, a good example;

to your father, deference; to your mother, conduct that will make her

proud of you; to yourself, respect; to all people, charity.

John Balfour

Thanks for letting me share.