The Miracles of Summer

"As for me, I know nothing else but miracles,  
Whether I walk the streets of Manhattan,
Or dart my sight over the roofs of houses toward the sky,
Or wade with naked feet along the beach just in the edge of the water,
Or stand under the trees in the woods,
Or talk by day with any one I love,
Or sleep in bed at night with any one I love,
Or watch honey bees busy around the hive of a summer forenoon...
Or the wonderfulness of the sundown,
Or of stars shining so quiet and bright,
Or the exquisite delicate thin curve of the new moon in spring...
What stranger miracles are there?"
  --Walt Whitman-- 

I happened across the above poem yesterday, and it certainly hit home. Here we are already halfway through August; summer is almost gone...and I've done nothing to enjoy it.  Granted, it hasn't been the easiest of summers to deal with.  I cannot recalling a summer that was this hot and humid.  It was dreadful enough just trying to make it back and forth to work...let alone spend any unnecessary time out there...and because of this, I've missed out on so much.

As I read this poem, I was reminded that I've not seen a honey bee this year, nor have I enjoyed the brilliant flashes of the lightning bugs. Even at night it has been too hot; there's been barely a breeze to sweep the hot, humid air away. Throughout the summer, I've been in such a hurry to escape the heat that I have not taken the time to look around at all the beautiful flowers, trees, grass, and the sky above...sitting outdoors and watching as the sun goes down, the locusts whispering in the trees, (yes, I have them here.), and the joyful chirping of the birds awakening me from my nightly sleep.  These are some of the things I have missed out on this summer...the miracles of life, of nature. 

Alas, it is still not too late.  There is still time to enjoy, to savor...time to give thanks for the gifts of nature.   The miracles of summer are all around. It's time to stop, look, and listen...life is far to short to allow even one season pass by without noticing it.

"To see the Summer Sky
Is Poetry, though never in a Book it lie  - 
True Poems flee" --Emily Dickenson--

Being Thankful

Be thankful that you don't already have everything you desire,
If you did, what would there be to look forward to?

Think back to when you were a child...those anxious, impatient days leading up to Christmas.  Remember how you felt? Remember how the time leading up to the big day felt like an eternity?  And then the big day came...and there was the hasty opening of the gifts.  Paper flying everywhere.  Oh, what joy!!!  And then the magical day was over, and when we went to bed, our thoughts now turned to our birthday or to our mid-winter vacation at school.  The point being, when we were children, we always found something to look forward to.

We may say that we 'wish' we could have everything that we wanted, but ff we had everything we wanted, what would be left for us to wish for?  The magic would be gone.  Besides, it's not really true that those who have everything are happy; in fact, it is just the opposite.  What's the old saying?...The more you have, the more you want?"  Greed begets greed, and suddenly you find you can never have enough. The magic of anticipation disappears, and in its place a deep-rooted unhappiness begins to set in as you become a person driven by desire alone.

Be thankful when you don't know something
For it gives you the opportunity to learn.

You are never too old too learn.  Not too long ago, a woman in her 80's graduated from college with her master's degree. I was in my 40's when I changed careers, and worked towards my degree in my 50's.  I love learning and am always looking for something new.  A prime example was just the other day when I first learned of Shadow People.  Immediately, I set a course to learn all I could about these mysterious beings.  Every day we run into something new...a new recipe, a new hobby, etc.  Our friends and acquaintances may say something setting off our desire to know more.  Learning is what keeps us alive. Our ancestors learned to make and use fire, to hunt and farm.  We live because of what they learned. 
  

Be thankful for the difficult times.
During those times you grow.

We all know the old saying, Without darkness, there would be no light.  How true is that!  The other day, in my Huna studies, I read another one....If everything in the world was the same color, and there was only one sound in the world, we would not be able to see or hear.  Profound, but oh so true. Life on a silver platter offers us nothing.  It is those times of struggle that teaches us to appreciate...to appreciate what we have, however little it may be, to appreciate family, to appreciate life.    

Be thankful for your limitations
Because they give you opportunities for improvement.

I'm not going to lie...this isn't an easy one for me...only because it is hard for me to take criticism. I am Superwoman who has no limits. I'm so darned independent; I like to think I can do it all..so asking for help is hard for me to do.  But then, it becomes a vicious cycle of...going ahead and doing it on my own and then facing criticism when it is not done properly...and then the "Why didn't you ask?"  I basically grew up taking care of myself, so asking for help was something I never really learned how to do. I am getting better though; it is hard breaking a habit which took a lifetime to build.

 Be thankful for each new challenge

Because it will build your strength and character.

It's the hard things in life which teach us the lesson of gratitude. We all have to go through personal challenges from time to time. There is no exception to this rule.  It is how we react to these challenges that has a lot to say about our character and whether or not we have what it takes to persevere and ride out the storm. And the more challenged we are in life, the more we get to learn about ourselves for if we never had to face a challenge, we would never know just where we need to make improvements, and this helps to build our character.  

Be thankful for your mistakes
They will teach you valuable lessons.

Gosh, mistakes, I wouldn't know where to begin.  I've made so many in my life...some of which I will never have the opportunity to make amends for. But I have learned that sitting around and dwelling on what "I should have or could have" done leaves no room for one to heal.  Healing begins with accepting that we have made a mistake and using that mistake as a means of growth for it is only through our mistakes that we grow.  

   Be thankful when you're tired and weary
Because it means you've made a difference.

How many nights to I come home from work...physically drained...just wanting to fall into bed and forget about it all.  I want to quit my job and forget about it all, but then I remember the success stories...however few they may be...and suddenly it becomes all worth it.  No matter what, I do know that everyday I am making some kind of difference in someone's life...even just by showing them that there is someone who cares, someone who will listen.  We all make a difference in someone's life...the neighbor across the street whose day we brighten when we offer a cheerful good morning; the store clerk whose day is brightened by our smile...no matter how long we wait in line; our children and families who know that we love them, and that love makes a difference in their lives.  Yes, when we fall into bed, tired and weary, know that you have made a difference in someone's life.

It is easy to be thankful for the good things.
A life of rich fulfillment comes to those who are
also thankful for the setbacks.

Gratitude can turn a negative into a positive.
Find a way to be thankful for your troubles
and they can become your blessing.

Remembering to Be Grateful

Would you believe it is after 11 am, and I just woke up?  That's how burned out I am at this point.  I realized it has been over a month since I used a burnout day, and believe me, today's was much needed.  Yesterday, two of our ladies got into a fistfight because one claimed the other stole her wallet.  Well, ya know what?  She did, but I'm getting far too old for the screaming and these physical altercations.  Not that I was physically in the fight, but try calming down two ex 'ladies of the street' who are hell bent on kicking the sh.. out of each other.  Oh, well, all was not so bad yesterday...
 

For each new morning with its light,
For rest and shelter of the night,
For health and food, for love and friends,
For everything Thy goodness sends.

 --Ralph Waldo Emerson--

...for yesterday was hubby's birthday. He was 56, a few years younger than I.  His birthday is always such a special day for us because there was a time that we didn't think he'd live to see another. It is hard to believe that it has been almost twenty years since he lay in that hospital bed, wasting away....so close to death....and as I remember clearly how I stood there, watching as his body withered away, wondering why.  Why was this happening to us?  We'd had so little time together, and after so many different painful, destructive, and unhappy relationships, I wondered what we had done to deserve this.  Oh, I know, the rational part of me said that bad things happen to good people all the time; that I was not being 'picked on'. Pain and sorrow are a part of this world...they help us to grow. But, alas, I wasn't ready.


Everyone except his mother and the sister I get along with told me that I had to accept and to let him go, that I was in denial...and perhaps I might need some counseling,...but something within, that inner voice deep within was telling me, "No, it is not his time.  You cannot not let him go."  It was then that I decided that I was going to fight back; I wasn't going to let him go, that there WAS hope... and that hope that birthed itself within me, radiated from my body and instilled a new desire for life into him.  I will never forget the day that I raced into the room, out of breath because I ran to the hospital, anxious to spend my time with him...every moment was so precious.  And, when I stepped into the room, there he was sitting up, looking stronger than he had in days.  "I ate today," he said, and I began to cry because only a few days before I had never thought he would eat again...and we were both so grateful that we cried together.

While there’s life, there’s hope.

--Marcus Tullius Cicero--

Hope and gratitude...two magnificent feelings that have become illusive to many people. It is always the simple things in life that so difficult for us to do?  I mean the small things, like….. being grateful. Is it because it may not really be so simple?  I'm sure that, like me, when you were young, you heard your parents say, "be grateful for what you have. There are those in this world that would do anything who are going to bed hungry tonight."  And as small children, that was something beyond our understanding for at that time in our lives, our whole world revolved around us. But, the truth be told, being grateful is not so easy. Why? Maybe because it requires us to be happy with what we have been given rather than what we wanted.

When you wake up and see the rays of the morning sun beaming through your window, how do you feel?  Do you feel grateful for another day, or do you instead focus on the multitude of things you have to accomplish before the sun slips away? It is so easy to forget all we have to be thankful for when life becomes hectic and chaotic.   We forget that many of the simple things in life can be reasons for being grateful--our health, family, friends, our livelihood. These are often the things that we tend to take for granted...that is, until they are brought to our attention or taken away.

Remembering to be grateful daily for one's health, family, friends, a job during a recession, having a roof over one's head and food on the table is a good way to start living with gratitude. I've learned a lot over these years in dealing with hubby's illness. Yes, hubby and I still live with the threat of a terminal illness hanging over our heads, and each time I see him 'under the weather' my heart begins to sink, but these years have been a gift, a blessing...something that I will forever cherish.  

Outside, the rain sometimes comes down so hard, we have to talk louder, and it feels like a miracle that the roof holds.  It makes for a coziness and a gratefulness, too, that you have the choice to not be out in it.  You can sit at the table and look out the window and not have to feel what you see.--Elizabeth Berg

What are you grateful for today?

Shadow People

Good morning, everyone.  Well, the temperature has cooled down some, but the humidity is up high, but cool and refreshing air is finally pushing its way in.  No sun today, so we won't be seeing any shadows...or will we?

Picture this. You are sitting cozily in your very favorite chair, soft music on the radio, and a good book in your hand.  Suddenly, you catch a glimpse of something in the corner of your eye; it darts out of your view when you turn to look straight at it.  Now it is gone.  Did you really see something?  Or is your imagination working overtime?

You shake  the image out of your head and assume that it must was some peculiar anomaly of your eyesight; however, you cannot shake the feeling that someone is watching you. It goes on for several nights, for weeks, and each time you dismissed  the fast dark movements in your peripheral vision, but then, one night when you are not expecting it, you see the shadow directly in front of you: face to face, blacker than black, darker than dark, almost  like a void that has punched a hole into the inky fabric of night itself.

Yesterday, someone in an Empath group I follow mentioned that Shadow People were always around her. She said it's becoming more and more frequent, and she was wondering why.  "Shadow People?" I exclaimed, "  So, who or what are "Shadow People?" You know me.  Whenever I hear of something new, I have to investigate.  Are they ghosts, visuals from another dimension, something from the realm of demons, or none of the above?  Well, after doing a bit of research, I have to tell you, I STILL don't know what they are.

Shadow people are shadowy, silhouettes of human forms seen mostly at night. They are not bound by walls or other physical obstacles. They are also known as "Dark Shadows" or "Shadow Ghosts" and are probably the most misunderstood entity known to man. Shadow is an indication of a spiritual condition, an absence of light or of truth.  Hence, the idea that Shadow People are actually disembodied humans have somehow become lost...or have chosen not to go forward in life's journey by refusing to go into the light after death. 

The shadow has long been associated with the mysterious aspect of the subconscious mind; it is archetype of a hidden and secretive area of human existence, our subconscious mind. Could these experiences be trying to tell us something important about ourselves, our environment and the times we live in?  In Jungian psychology,  the archetype of the shadow is said to deal with our primal survival instincts. It is the dark side of the ego, the evil that all men are capable of is under the right circumstances is stored there. .The shadow is the dark side of the person, characterized by inferior, uncivilized or animal qualities which the human ego wishes to hide from others. Are these beings simply trying to convey a message to our conscious selves?

One of the more creative theories is that these shadow beings are manifest thought forms, meaning that they are collections of negative psychic energy from areas where traumatic events have taken place.  The negative psychic energy begins to manifest and takes on form and motive, thriving on fear and negative emotions for sustenance.

Generally, they are harmless, but because we fear darkness, many people have come to believe that shadow people are evil, demonic; however, most are actually not negative in nature. Are they frightening?  Yes, they can be.  Are the dangerous?  I think not.  If they wanted to hurt us, they have had ample opportunity to do so.  They are simply lost and in need of guidance to understand their condition. 

So, the question remains unanswered, but I do have a couple of questions for you.  Have you ever seen the Shadow People? I know I have. I see them often.  I see them in the corner of my eye, and in a flash they are gone.  Personally, I believe they are harmless.  I like to think they are possibly from another dimension, and perhaps they are appearing more and more frequently because they are trying to warn us of something.  What do you think they are?

• 
  
• Ghosts?
•  
• Demons?
• Creatures from another dimension?  From space?
•  
• Figment of our imagination?

• Our shadow self?

Watering the Soul

Morning all.  No weather report today.  You all know what I am going to stay...but there is some hope in the forecast.  Fingers crossed and waiting.

Tears are the safety valve of the heart when too much pressure is laid on it.--Albert Smith


Yesterday I was meeting with  a client for his his weekly individual session, and he began to cry, but as soon as the tears started to flow, he fought 
to control them.  His mom had passed away in late November, but he had been unable to mourn her loss.  He was a cocaine addict who once had a great job on Wall Street, but suffice it to say, it all went up his nose, and sadly, by  the time his mom died, he was not only out of a job, but he had snorted all of his savings  and his mothers; he had no funds to bury her, and he refused to let her be buried at a Potter's Field. I don't know how he did it, but he managed to talk the Medical Examiner into holding her body until he could find a charitable organization willing to help pay for her funeral which he eventually did....in June.  

I tell this tale to help you gain a little understanding of why he has been unable to mourn.  So many months had gone by.  We never get over the death of a parent, but after time, it does become more bearable...and funerals are so delicate to arrange, so many feelings involved.  Just imagine planning a funeral for 6 months. He was never a bad person; he loved his mom....not only do drugs can do terrible things to people...they also cause people do terrible things to others, to hurt those that they love.  I've grown up around alcoholism and know first hand the damage it can do.  

My client is eating himself up inside.  He hasn't mourned his mother, because he hasn't been able to mourn the things he had done to hurt her.  Yesterday, I thought we were going to have a breakthrough...finally, but he is not ready or is fearful to let himself go.  Crying is so healthy; it is so healing.  So, why...why is it that we find it so hard to do?  After all, we all, at one time or another, come to a time when we find ourselves drowned in sadness; we feel like crying, but we refused to let ourselves go. Sometimes this stems from a childhood where we are not allowed to show our feelings. 

This especially happens in dysfunctional families.  I remember my grandmother's funeral.  I was 16 years old at the time, and loved my grandma dearly, but I will never forget my mom stopping me outside the funeral parlor and sternly warning me, "Don't you dare cry.  You'll get everyone else crying."  So, what is so bad about that?  Why shouldn't we be allowed cry to mourn our loss? Tears are just so healing.  To this day, I have never understood her reasoning.  

We find many excuses.  Some feel the tears will never stop.  I have another client, a female, who is meeting with her 17 year old son for the first time since he was 10 years old.  She told me he has never seen a 'clean and sober' mommy.  Before she left, I chided her to bring plenty of tissues. Her response...."Oh, I never cry.  I don't allow myself to.  I'm afraid that I won't be able to stop."  Actually, when you get right down to it, her 'real' fear is that of a loss of control.  

Men feel it is unmanly, that they have to be strong.  Others will disapprove if they let their guard down. My male client won't allow himself to cry because he feels he DESERVES to feel badly.  It is his punishment for hurting his mom...so he continues to live in his own private purgatory.  What will become of him if he doesn't allow himself to grieve?  I honestly don't know.  I can only hope for the best.

Tears and sobbing are not a sign of weakness; indeed,what they show is strength. It takes courage to share all of your emotions, not just the joyful ones. To be authentic emotionally shows much more strength of character than it does to hide our unpopular parts. It is healing to share those feelings with others, because unless we are able to share, we will ever know, that we are not alone. There are others around us, others who do understand our pain because they have felt it too. Knowing this should give you comfort. After all, sorrow and loss are phases of our lives which molds our souls into maturity.

"Let your tears come; let them water your soul." --Eileen Mayhew

Native Way of Life

Another hot an hazy day, but it is looking like some much-needed rain might be on the way.  If I heard correctly this morning, the weatherman said that 'out of 28 days, 25 have been hotter than normal'.  That's a big WOW!!!.  I think, as much as we all try to embrace each season, we've all had enough of this.  I've not been able to really enjoy my yard; even at night it has been far too hot.  And I have only been able to make a couple trips to Coney this year. It's been far too hot, but I do plan to make some trips in the fall.  I love walking along the beach when there's a cool wind blowing, and the waves are turbulent, crashing against the shore.  The kids are all back in school, and usually, there are only a few stray people with dogs who venture out there on a cool autumn day.  I so treasure those days and find myself anxiously anticipating those Sunday afternoons.

As most of you know, I've plenty of interests. Well, I have 63 years of study. Currently, I have been studying Huna, but my great loves have been the Celts and the Native Americans.  Perhaps I chose these two paths because they have so many similarities with one another; both are connected to the Mother Earth, nature; both were a very spiritual peoples;both had oral storytelling traditions.  And, the Native American Medicine Wheel and the Celtic Wheel of the Four Directions are so similar you would think they are of the same peoples.


Or perhaps it is the wee bit of Native American blood that flows through my body. Through my genealogy I have been able to find Na-he-no-wenah (Spirit of the Moon).  Such a lovely name, isn't it? I know there is another ancestor, probably from the Lenape tribe in New Jersey, but try as I may, I cannot find her name.  I know that she existed, and one day I know that I shall find her so I can honor her as I have my other ancestors. Everyone should be remembered. We  know who she is, the wife of my 6th great grandfather; her Americanized name is Charlotte.  It is  finding that illusive proof, her Native American name that has not been found.

Actually, there are quite a few tales of the Native Americans in my heritage.  The massacre at Lancaster, Massachusetts, for example, when almost the entire town was slain.  My 10th great granddad, John Prescott, was the founder of Lancaster, and many of those massacred were my ancestors. And then there is the tale of my 8th great granddad in Pequannock, New Jersey.  Seems the Indians kidnapped his youngest daughter when she was just a tot. Then, many years later when the family finally located her, she refused to go back to live with the 'white man'. Hence, along with everything else I write about, you will find the Native American thrown in as well.  I love their teachings; I love their beliefs.  I think they have a lot to offer if we would only listen. So with that in mind, I'd like to share the following with you. These little tenets are something we should all be practicing every day.  

Native Way of Life

 

Each morning upon rising and before you go to sleep,

give thanks for the life within you and for all life.

Treat every person with respect.

Special respect should be given to elders, parents, and teachers.

Never speak unkindly to another person.

Touch nothing that belongs to another.

Respect the privacy of everyone.

Never walk between people when they are conversing.

Never interrupt people who are conversing.

 

Speak in a quiet voice.

Never speak unless invited to do so.

Do not speak of others in a negative way.

Treat the Earth as your Mother.

Respect the beliefs of others.

Listen with courtesy when others speak.

Respect the wisdom of people in council.

--From Sacred Earth News--

Monday Ramble

Oh, my, another Monday morning.  Another week of work ahead of me.  Where does the time go?  The heat and humidity are back in full force today, and it was just a dreadful trip to work this morning. I just cannot stand sweating, never could. And then you have those who not only sweat, but also do not believe in proper hygiene and deodorant. Ever sit next to someone who showers themselves with cheap cologne...but seems to have forgotten to take a shower?  

"When Time who steals our years away
Shall steal our pleasures too,
The mem'ry of the past will stay,
And half our joys renew."

--Thomas Moore, 1779-1852--

How many of us spend much of our lives wishing for better times?  We may wish we could turn back the pages of time to an earlier period that now appears to have been much better than the present.  Or we may wish to move forward in time to some hoped-for happy moment in the future.  It is the present that most of us have trouble living in. Yet, let's face it, the present is the only time period in which we can ever live.            

Personally, I see nothing wrong with remembering the 'good old days'. In fact, some of my past memories give me the greatest joy.  Who doesn't smile when they recall riding your bike as fast as the wind or holding your nose and jumping into a cooling lake on a hot summer day. It is when we dwell in the past that we run into problems...when we see no hope of the future...or fight the process of aging...that we run into problems.  We start to say, 'oh, how i wish I was"...or "Those where the best years of my life."  But were they?  Were they really?

Isn't it  possible that the "good old days" weren't really as good as we remember them? Are we remembering only the good parts of the past and blocking those  memories the unpleasant parts?  Are we focusing too much on the negative aspects of the present and ignoring some pretty good aspects of our current lives?  Isn't it possible that if we really try, that we can almost always find something to feel good about almost every day, or at least every stage of our lives?  

My goodness, did I ever fight the aging process.  I never wanted to grow old; I wanted to stay forever young.  There was a time I hated to look at myself in the mirror, and when I did, I usually blacked out all the flaws or wrinkles. Whenever people asked my age, I always took at least ten years off...and for a long time was able to get away with it.  But, there comes a time when age catches up with you, and you can either continue to deny it and be unhappy, or you can embellish it as a stage of life.
    

"Youth is like spring, an over-praised season more remarkable for biting winds than genial breezes.  Autumn is the mellower season, and what we lose in flowers we more than gain in fruits." -  Samuel Butler   

   
We grow older,  our children grow up and leave home to start their own lives and families.  And many of us find that as we grow older we are forced to give up some activities that we enjoyed so much in our younger years. True, but aren't there new activities available that can help to replace the lost ones?  Isn't it better if we find them rather than spend our time moping about what we have lost?  Our lives are a treasured gift.  Let's not waste them by thinking 'what if...'.

"A man who dares to waste one hour of life has not discovered the value of life."- -  Charles Darwin