Monday Morning This and That

  The fantasy flower I painted.

The person who does not believe in miracles surely
makes it certain that he or she will never take part in one.

William Blake

Morning everyone, and a happy beginning of the week to all.  I had a quiet, but wonderful weekend.  Saturday was a stay-in day, always my day to play catch up.  Had homework to do and letters to write. Practiced some with my art and caught up with my housework.  On Sunday morning I went to Church and later had a nice visit from my boys.  How was your Mother's Day?  My Mother's Day was extra special this year.  But first, before I tell you my news, we must go back to the past.

As many of you know, I grew up in a dysfunctional family and had a very unhappy childhood.  My mom was cold, distant, and always seemed to resent me.  I realized many years later when I went into counseling that she may have blamed me for the fact that she couldn't leave my father and marry the love of her life. I came from a small town, and in those days women stayed with the man for the sake of the child.  They believed that was what was best for the child, but in reality, they were hurting the child more than they realized. The child feels the pain, and it lasts for a lifetime.  I know.

Fast forward to my teen years when rebellion set in, especially my late teens when I totally got involved with the wrong crowd and did things I am not proud of.   Suffice it to say, I ran around and got pregnant.  I had a baby girl, and my mom treated her like a little princess.  One day she gave me an ultimatum--give her permission to adopt or she'd take me to court, and it wouldn't be pretty.  I was young, saw how wonderfully she treated my daughter, so did what I thought was best.  I allowed my mom to adopt. I knew at that point in my life my mom could give her much more than a teenage girl who had dropped out of school.

Little did I know that my mom would push me out and move away with my child.  I am guessing that she saw the closeness developing between me and my little girl and resentment set in, so why not get rid of me? There were no computers back then, so, at first, all I had was the phone number.  I called many times throughout the years only to be told 'that my daughter hates me' and never to call back again.  Then she changed the number, and I was left out in the cold.  I tried to find them to no avail.  Eventually, as much as it hurt, I had to leave that part of my life behind because it was eating me up.  It was time for me to heal. 

Now, 40 odd  years later we have found each other again  through the website Classmates and Facebook.  We are meeting on May 22nd, and both of us are so excited.  I found out I have 3 grandchildren--two boys and a girl--and 6 great grandchildren.  As I write this tears of joy are flowing down my cheeks.  She lives in Colorado and will be flying back here in two weeks.  We are scheduled to meet on the 22nd.  This is a true miracle in many ways.  I am now able to piece together those pieces of my past that are missing.  

My boys are very excited and anxious to meet their sister and their nieces and nephews.  My daughter and I chat for hours at a time, and it is amazing how much we have in common.  She, too, was a substance abuse counselor.  She also goes to Weight Watchers.  We both like and dislike the same foods.  We even have our weigh in at the same hour on the same day.  How unreal is that?

I've not mentioned this on FB nor do I plan to.  Too much drama on there, but here is different.  I feel like all of you are family and that no one will condemn me.   I just don't know what else to say.  I am just so darn happy.  I even got pictures now of me as a little girl and my beautiful grandma and grandpa. For so many years I have longed for this, and here she is.  My little girl.

Yes, miracles do occur.  I'll never question that again.