Thursday, March 27, 2014

Thursday Rant

He who takes medicine and neglects to diet wastes the skill of his doctors.  

Chinese Proverb

Good morning. I feel much better today.  Nothing like good old homemade chicken soup to cure what ails ya.  Whenever I make it, I do so in large batches and freeze in one serving containers just for the purpose of battling a cold or the flu. Then I just make some rice on the side.  Last night I think I put a wee bit too much rice in, but it still tasted good and accomplished what it was supposed to do...make me feel better. I also squeeze some lemon or lime into it just before devouring.

I'm sitting here now trying to make up my mind whether or not I should go to the Center.  Yes, I am feeling better, but am I still contagious?  And for a more selfish reason, someone always takes my seat on Thursdays.  He is an older gentlemen who only attends on Thursdays when lunch is 50 cents, and he always asks for Table 13. Other days he attends another Center, so he is not even a regular.  Now, I don't mind him sitting at our table at all, but the man always arrives super early and takes MY seat. Then, I have to sit with my back facing the front, something that makes me feel very uncomfortable.  So, I gave up attending on Thursdays.  

I know it sounds silly, but it just goes to show you how hard it is for us to accept change.  And sitting in a different seat, facing a different direction, is a minor change.  What about major changes?  It's odd, but I find major changes easier to deal with than minor little things that shouldn't even ruffle my feathers.  Like, when we found out they were selling our houses* after my initial shock, I was able to dig in and do what I had to do to make it a smooth transition.  It was the same with retirement.  You'd think that after working 50 years it would have been harder for me to let go, but I very easily fell into a life of leisure.  (Of course, the fact that my job was so stressful and literally killing me also helped).

Divorce, sickness,  financial woes, etc.  I've found it easier to deal with these than simple changes.  Why?  I think it is because I don't 'fight' the big changes.  They upset me, yes, but it doesn't last for long because I know there is not much I can do about it.  Aside from sickness, the change is inevitable so I become more accepting of it.  But losing my seat is a temporary change.  I never attend on Friday, but I know on Monday I will have my seat for the next three days...which leads me to think that maybe it is not 'change' that is bothering me so, but the fact that I am expected to 'defer' my seat to him just because he is there, and he wants it. I think I find it so difficult to deal with because it arouses flashbacks to that people-pleaser that I used to be, that old me who always gave up 'self' for everyone else.

You may be saying that perhaps the man doesn't know. But, he does.  He has known since the first day he sat there because I let it be known...not in a nasty way, of course.  That is not me.  But, I did mention that I was a regular and always sat in that seat.  And, it went in one ear and out the next.  My question is, wouldn't it be common courtesy for the man to offer me my seat?  I remember on my first day at the Center, I sat in a certain chair up front to play bingo.  A man came in and mentioned that was his seat.  I gave him no problem.  I got up and moved over.  Later I discovered that he took that seat because his hearing was so bad that he needed to be where he could hear, and we became good friends. 

My goodness!  I can't believe this whole post has been about seats.  How silly is that?  It just goes to show how long-winded I can get on things that have meaning to me. I tell you what, though.  I will make you a promise.  I will never talk about seats again.  If I do, please feel free to let me know.  

Wishing you all a fantastic day. 

****I had always insisted on renting the first floor of a private home so that I could have use of the back yard, and three times they sold the house out from under us, and we had to move.  The first time I didn't care as much.  I didn't like the neighborhood, but the second home was where I had my magickal garden and that time broke my heart.  The and last move came after we lived in the place for 15 years.  That's when I said 'no more' and chose to move on the first floor of a building instead.  I love it.

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