Saturday, November 27, 2010

Truth 12...Something You Never Get Compliments on

If you can't get a compliment any other way,
pay yourself one.
Mark Twain

Not an easy question.  When I started out on this venture, I had no idea that some of these questions would be so tough to answer.  I actually don't give much thought to compliments anymore. It's take it or leave it...take me as I am or don't take me at all.  Wasn't always like this. There was a time, when my self-esteem was at its all-time lowest, that seemed to be the only thing that I measured my worth on.  If somebody didn't say I looked nice....oh my goodness, what was wrong with me. Something had to be out of place. And, although we all like to get praise for the work we do, but not all of us take such personal affront to what is perceived as proof that I am just not good enough...

...and sadly it became a vicious cycle.  If someone didn't compliment me, it was because I was flawed....and then when I DID receive a compliment, I had trouble accepting it.  .I would often protest, turn the compliment into a negative, or confess to other shortcomings in their discomfort with accepting praise for which they feel unworthy.  For example, if someone said, "Oh, that is a pretty dress," I would say, "Oh, but it is so old."  Or, "Your hair looks nice,", I would respond, "You should see all I had to do to style it like this.  I have awful hair."

Today, it really doesn't bother me.  If my boss doesn't say, "Good job", it doesn't bother me anymore.  I don't need that reinforcement to prove my worth.  As long as I know I have done the job to the best of my ability, that is all that matters.  And as far as compliments go.  I may still find myself saying oh this old thing, when likes my outfit, but I don't feel that they are just trying to make me feel better, the compliment is probably genuine. 

So, in answer to the question, what is it that I never get compliments on?  My eyes.  My baby blues were always my best feature, and from the time I was a teenager, people remarked about my eyes...and my dimples.  My eyes are blue, and I once had the longest lashes that curled up on the ends without any help.  But now, as I've grown older, my eyelashes have grown shorter and thinned out.  I can't remember the last time someone told me I had beautiful eyes, but that doesn't matter to me anymore for it matters not that others see the beauty of my eyes, but that my eyes see the beauty of the world.
When your inner eyes open, you can find immense beauty
hidden within the inconsequential details of daily life.
When your inner ears open, you can hear the subtle,
lovely music of the universe everywhere you go.
Timothy Ray Miller


  1. Mary...You have beautiful blue eyes love! Eyes which see much farther than most, and one of the reasons I am so drawn to you.
    As well, I love your inner ears, as they hear much more than pen can put to paper...or in this case the typewritten word...

    Thank You for sharing another intimate part of you so that we may grow from your understandings...

    Have a Very Blessed Day!

  2. well i don't know about your eyes, but your inner beauty shines through

  3. wonderful post!!!!
    Wonderful quotes!

    Love Leanne

  4. great post. I also found this question tough. I look forward to your next truth post.