Monday, November 22, 2010

Truth 10: Someone You Need to Let Go of, or Wish You Didn't Know

Let go. Why do you cling to pain? There is nothing
you can do about the wrongs of yesterday. It is
not yours to judge. Why hold on to the very thing
which keeps you from hope and love?
--Leo Buscaglia--

Golly, I didn't realize how difficult this one would be, but truth be told, I've wracked my brain and can't think of a single soul that that fits into this  Truth.  Why?  Because at this stage of my life,  I have already let go of everyone who needed to go, everyone who was weighing me down with their toxic behaviors.  So, when I reached my early fifties,  something changed within, and  I underwent a complete metamorphosis....not only a cleansing of myself, but also  those who had filling my life with ex, my so-called friends who never had my best interests at heart...a boss who treated me like a  doormat.  Negative people can easily drag you into a world of pessimism and despair, and I no longer wanted to live my life in that manner.  

And so I did a thorough housecleaning,  tossing out everything that had been cluttering  up my life, everything that had been weighing my soul down.   Some chose not to go easily.  My ex gave me a rough time, and for awhile I was always looking over my shoulder. My ex-neighbor/friend  was just as bad.  Why, it was just as little as four years ago that she was still giving me an occasional call.  And it really wasn't that she missed me so much as she had claimed.  No, her phone calls were out of nosiness and wanting to have the latest gossip about my life.  Just hearing her voice  made me cringe, and I finally I had to ask her to please lose my number.

People have a hard time letting go of their suffering.
Out of a fear of the unknown, they prefer suffering that is familiar.
--Thich Nhat Hanh--

When it comes to cutting someone out of our lives, we often feel a strong sense of guilt.  And although we probably find  ourselves fed up and disgusted with that person's behavior,  just thinking about that favor the person once did for us or  the history we may have with them, makes our decision all the more difficult.  But, the problem with not letting go is that it can impede our progress and limit our capacity to receive more goodness into our lives--more joy, revelations, peace and serenity, and by letting go, we open ourselves up to new possibilities. 

 I'm comfortable with my life right now...and with everyone in it. Not everyone is perfect, but I am not perfect either.  I've got plenty of faults. We're not here to be perfect; we are hear to learn.  Even my lazy co-worker has her place in my life today for she is a constant reminder of the person I never hope to be. 

Letting go doesn't mean we don't care.  Letting go doesn't mean we shut down.
Letting go means we stop trying to force outcomes and make people behave.
It means we give up resistance to the way things are, for the moment.
It means we stop trying to do the impossible--controlling that which
we cannot--and instead, focus on what is possible--which usually means
taking care of ourselves.  And we do this in gentleness, kindness,
and love, as much as possible.
--Melody Beatty--


  1. It's a great sign that you couldn't think of anyone in this category!

  2. Good post m/f.
    Interesting name! Melody Beatty

  3. Great post! Thank you! It is making me think of things in my life right now.

  4. Lovely post. I've been going through a metamorphosis this year - letting go - it's been one of my best years so far.

    Love Leanne

  5. Letting go used to be a lot harder for me. Funny how, as I age, it becomes less difficult.

  6. It took me some time to learn, but toxic people have no place in my life. I also learned not to feel guilty for watching out for myself first.

    Wishing you a day filled with laughter.


  7. I am still in that process...I have gotten better with it the past few years but I still have a couple people whom I have yet to address. It is family and it makes it doubly hard but for my own spiritual health and wellness I need to 'just do it.' Thanks for the elegant reminder Mary!

    Big Hugs!!!

  8. Wow! That last quoted piece! Wow!

    Thank you.