You are too old for Halloween when:
1. You get winded from knocking on the door.
2. You have to have someone chew the candy for you.
3. You ask for high fiber candy.
4. When someone drops a candy bar in your bag, you lose your balance and fall over.
5. When the door opens you yell, "Trick or...." and forget the rest.
6. By the end of the night you have a bag full of restraining orders.
7. You have to carefully choose a costume that won't dislodge your hair piece.
8. You are the only Power Ranger in the neighborhood with a walker.
9. You avoid going to houses where your ex-spouses live.
10. People say, "Great Keith Richards mask!" and you are not wearing a mask.