Everyday Magic

"Magic is not a practice. It is a living, breathing web of energy that, with our permission, can encase our every action."--Dorothy Morrison, Everyday Magic

I stopped at Duane Reade this morning on my way to work, and as I waited in line, I was listening to a little girl who was badgering her mother. She was the sweetest little thing, with the brightest smile...and noticeable gap where a tooth had once been.  "Mommy, are you sure she will be tonight?"  "Yes," mommy sighed, exasperated after having to answer the same question over and over again. "But how will she find me?  I wish we hadn't move." the little girl pouted.  "Oh, she knows where you are.  She knows everything."  The little girls face lit up. "You promise, mommy?  You promise that she will come?  Will I see her?"  "She will definitely come, " mommy said, "but you must make sure to go to sleep early.  The Tooth Fairy doesn't like to be seen."  I couldn't help but smile.  Ah, the wonderful magic of childhood.

When I was a little kid, it was so easy to believe in magic...the wonder found in the twinkling of a firefly, angels, fairies, the magical excitement of Christmas, peaking through the crack in my door as I waited for Santa Claus...lying awake at night hoping to catch a glimpse the Tooth Fairy, the man in the moon.  When you are young, there was a sense of wonder around every corner...just waiting to be discovered.  Life was full of incredibly, magical events.

And then, one day, you grow up, and, with the dawn of adulthood comes that sense of drudgery, responsibility and a good dose of rational reality as we see more of the other side of life...the pain of losing a loved one, our parents growing older, our grandparents seeming to fade away,  divorce, worries about paying our bills on time, illness. Our hearts get broken as we experience many things that leave us broken and crushed. Reality has a way of taking away the magic of our youth, and our belief in magic fades, until,  we no longer believe in fairy tales. We must get on with the reality of living our lives and leave the magic to children.

But, the good news is that the magic never really goes away; it continues to live inside of us all....only now we call it fantasy, belief, faith, and countless other terms that are just a mask for the magic in our lives. what about the magic of falling in love or in the birth of a child?  Ir the magic in the power of the words that lift us up when we are feeling down?  There is magic in the sense of touch.  How many times when you have felt angry or hurt that a simple hug made it go all away?  Our dreams for the future can be magical.  In fact, anything that we add special meaning to can be magical...the changing of the seasons, that cute little puppy, in the sight of a beautiful tree, the beauty of ocean, its waves lapping against the shore. 

Yes, the magic does live within us all; it is up to us to reach for it. When you are feeling down, remember, it is okay to go out and dance in the rain or to smile and wink at the man in the moon. Open your eyes widely and see, really see,  the fairies as they dance about in your garden.  Don't be afraid to make a wish upon a star; it just might come true.  Reach for the clouds. Above all...live...There is nothing wrong with living, laughing, and loving every moment of it.

And above all, watch with glittering eyes the whole world around you because the greatest secrets are always hidden in the most unlikely places. Those who don't believe in magic will never find it.--Roald Dahl

Comfort Foods

As the days grow short, some faces grow long.  But not mine.  Every autumn, when the wind turns cold and darkness comes early, I am suddenly happy.  It's time to start making soup again.  --Leslie Newman

Yesterday was my cooking day so my entire day was spent slaving over the stove.  There was a time when I loved to cook; why, I'd make everything from homemade noodles for a Polish meal to a 3 course Chinese meal, but those days are long gone.  Today, I absolutely hate cooking.  That's why I try to get it all done on one day.  It's always easier, though, when the cooler weather comes round, and it is during the fall and winter that I still get a bit daring with my foods...and it is in winter that I lean more towards my comfort foods.

Comfort foods, those satisfying, healing comfort foods that warm and strengthen us, healing us from the inside out. A comfort food may also trigger positive memories of childhood meals or other occasions.; it is any food that makes one feel safe, loved, and satisfied.  We turn to them when we are feeling sad, unwell, or otherwise depressed, and we turn to them as the weather begins to cool down each year. We all have comfort foods that we seek out.  They don’t have to be warm and hearty.  For some people, it is a box of chocolates; for others, it may be a bowl of spaghetti.  When I have a cold all I want is some homemade chicken soup, and when I am really stressed and feeling down, it is bowls and bowls of Rocky Road Ice Cream...topped with chocolate syrup and gobs and gobs of whipped cream.


"For the millions of us who live glued to computer keyboards at work and TV monitors at home, food may be more than entertainment. It may be the only sensual experience left."--Barbara Ehrenrich


Having learned the value of comfort goods when I was young, one of my favorite memories of comfort foods is from childhood.  As you all know, I spent all my childhood weekends at my grandparents' home...a place of peace and serenity, of joy, a place to retreat from the dysfunctional family life I had to endure Monday through Friday.  And grandma always made sure she had my favorite foods.  Ironically, for a child, you would think it was cookies and ice cream, but on the contrary, my favorite comfort food was Campbell's Bean with Bacon soup.  On Saturday night we'd put on the television, and I'd sit between my grandparents eating a bowl of soup and a glass of soda.  Sadly, the Bean with Bacon soup I bought not so long ago tasted NOTHING like the one I remember. It was bland and tasteless....another victim of the new health conscious form of eating...not that I don't want to be healthy, but some things are best left alone.

There is a factory near where I live; I don't know what they make, but there are times when the entire area smells like cotton candy...the scent of which reminds me of Bertrand Island Amusement Park, one of my favorite childhood places to go. And this is the time of the year that the supermarket starts selling candy apples, one of the classic treats of autumn. I yearn to enjoy one, but it has been so many years; I just can't bite them anymore.  

And then there is the lunches of tomato soup and grilled cheese sandwiches which tasted so good after a morning of play in the crisp autumn air.  Grandma also used to make pancakes which she smothered with chicken and gravy.  

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The scent of cinnamon in an apple pie always reminds me of October and Halloween. I have always loved the fall and the aromas that meant the heat of summer was finally fading into cooler night air ...perhaps even a little chill. And apple cinnamon cookies at Christmas. Cinnamon is one of those scents that you can never get enough of.  I always keep cinnamon candles of hand; it is a scent that gives me a sense of comfort and takes me back to the days when I had fewer cares and the unknowns of life were something to look forward to.

What childhood comfort food do you yearn for the most? 

Food for thought is no substitute for the real thing.--Walt Kelly

A Tornado in Brooklyn

Have to say, it's really good to be back.  It has really been a strange week with me and technology...between my cable and my work computer.  Finally, the work computer is working well after a second call to the Help Desk...and my cable has been acting strange since Tuesday.  It'll play great for awhile and suddenly, when you are just in the middle or near the end of something, off it goes...for hours.  Only channels you can get during that time are the Brooklyn Channel which plays the same news over and over again...every 15 minutes...and the Brooklyn weather channel which tells you the weather and transit info, but how much of that can you watch?  Hence, the cable man paid a visit today....ironically, at the same time as the help desk was working on my computer.  Unfortunately, the cable will be off and on until Tuesday; they have to dig up the street.  Something is going on with the main source. Just great, but at least I will have a whole week taken off my bill.

Bursts as a wave that from the clouds impends, And swell'd with tempests on the ship descends; White are the decks with foam; the winds aloud Howl o'er the masts, and sing through every shroud: Pale, trembling, tir'd, the sailors freeze with fears; And instant death on every wave appears.--Homer

Nature, the most powerful force in the world; it is tempestuous and shows it's beauty and its dark side at will, and while man has discovered ways to predict some of nature's behavior, nature has a mind of it's own and has shattered the belief that we "know" how nature behaves time and time again.  Take this past Thursday evening, for example...

...When we went into our staff meeting at 3 pm, the sky was sunny and bright, and by the time we finished at about 5 pm, dark looming clouds were sweeping across the sky and the roar of thunder was gradually rising in the distance. Suddenly, the sky unleashed a torrent of heavy rain and lightening seared the sky.  The storm had begun...but who was to know that a tornado would hit us here in Brooklyn. The weather service has confirmed that not one, but two tornados and a series of microbursts (history making and most violent storms ever in New York City) ripped through the city leaving 14 miles worth of damage, killing a woman, killing  thousands of trees...some more than a century old, knocking down utility poles, tearing off roofs...need I say more.  The following video is one of the best I found that shows the sheer power of this storm.(Actually, there were better, but those had some very vivid language)

Storms are an inevitable part of life, and no matter what kind of preparation we may make, we cannot stop them...and while man may be able to spot a tornado with the help of modern technology and warn people ahead of time, Mother Nature can be fickle and change its path at will....choosing instead to turn her wrath upon unsuspecting victims with devastating results. It's not that she means to hurt us; she is only striking back from all the hurt and pain we have caused her. Many call this the dark side of nature. But, this is her way of crying out in pain. 

Yet, she also has a beautiful and a creative side as well which we often overlook in the face of the destruction she may inflict.  A gentle rain on a spring day, the budding of trees and flowers that signify that Spring is on it's way...the warmth of the sun that increases as the summer approaches...long summer days which dwindle as autumn approaches and leaves on the trees signify the change by turning from green to bright orange, red and yellow colors creating a beautiful landscape for all to admire. Then, when the leaves fall from the trees and the cool air turns cold, snow falls and blankets the earth with a glorious white coat.  Nature has completed once again the cycle of seasons...a cycle that only nature has control over.

Yes, it is true that the awesome power of nature is one to be feared, but it is also true that it should be revered.  Nature destroys, but she also creates...Together, the seasons symbolize the materials of the world, the elements that created her into this beautiful form we treasure and love so much today. Nature has a way with herself, and with the seasons, she is the greatest teachers of life. She gives us what is natural and needed to survive. We get our water, food, materials for shelters, medicines and sheer enjoyment from her. The circle of life is one of her greatest lessons and she has the opportunity to teach it to us every year. One year in our life is one day for Mother Earth. 

I'm Back

I'm back...connected to the world again....but I am not sure for how long.  Same computer...still acting up. Of all times for my computer at work to go down...on my late days.  In the morning, my son is still asleep, so I was unable to get to my home computer, and when I get home on my late days, all I want to do is eat a little something and get some rest. I'd really like to get a laptop.  I've been thinking about it.  I really should do it...although I am not really sure how they work...like how does the internet get installed...because without that, there'd be no sense in having one.

As you all have probably figured, I'm not one of those gadget people, never have been and probably never will be.  Don't have a cell phone and don't want one.  I have have my phone at home and my trusted answering machine; that's good enough for me...and only recently when my phone died out, did I go wireless...and I am still trying to figure out how all of the buttons work.  Nope, I'm not up on all that new technology...all those gadgets that people stand in line for hours for on the day they come out...just so they can be one of the first to have one.  I Pads, I Phones, Wii, Nooks, and that other fake 'book'.  Give me an old hardcover any day, and I'll be happy.  But take my computer away?  Now, that's another story.

Computers, though?  Computers are another thing. Computers have made our lives so much easier....that's for sure. But take them away, and you can have a real case of stress on your hands. I found myself obsessing over what I was missing. Now, mind you, not only was I totally cut off from all of you, my dear friends, but I also couldn't do any work...so imagine what a boring time I had.  Everything here is done on the computer nowadays, and our work program can only be accessed through the internet...which sometimes makes me wonder how confidential our client's information really is.      

Technological addiction....In the 50's, the radio was our main source of entertainment. We'd all gather round to listen to shows such as Dragnet, Burns and Allen, Barbara Stanwyck.  Few families had televisions until the early 60's, but I remember my grandparents getting one in the late 50's. On Saturday nights my grandma loved her Lawrence Welk, and Ii remember how my cousin, Tim, and I used to lie on the living room floor cracking jokes about the bubbles.  Grandma's face would redden, and she'd get so angry.  I hope she knows that it was all done in jest.

In the 60's and the 70's, it was the television set that kept us in our homes, glued to some addictive sitcom or one of the soap operas.  We didn't have cable back then; we just had the standard basic analog black and white...no VCR's, no DVD's, nothing. But, wow, the shows sure were special back then. Personally, thanks to grandma and her soap addiction, I grew to love As the World Turns, Dark Shadows. Guiding Light, and then in the evenings, it was Dallas, Falcon Crest, Knots Landing. Anyone remember them? 

I especially remember the year of Who shot J.R? How could I forget.  That was the year that I moved here to New York City ...1979/1980.  Had no money back then, so, of course, I had no television...and I can still remember how I felt the night I knew the show was airing. Why, it just about killed me knowing that the whole world was finding out the answer, and here I was...sitting in some dinky little transient hotel room...doomed to learn the answer two days later while standing in line to pay for a Hershey's chocolate bar.  And when I think back on it,  I guess you can say I felt the same sense of loss that I have these few days without my computer.


So, I guess what I am trying to see here is that we humans have always been addicted to technology in one form or another...and one day in the future, computers will most likely be as passe as the old black and white or the weekly radio show...but we'll find have something else to keep us occupied.  You can mark my words on that one.

Checking In

I know it is unusual for me not to check in, but I'm computer-less at work...for the time being.  I wanted to let you all know that there is nothing wrong; I will be fine.  Just going through a bad case of computer--itis....an emotional state newly recognized in our  modern technological era; it consists of severe withdrawal symptoms which can include anxiety, depression, and what some would call a feeling of 'lack of connection' with the outside world.  The person feels isolated and cut off from friends.  Thus far, the only cure has been a 'new computer' or a cell phone with internet connection. 

Unfortunately, my computer at work has gone down, and I am waiting for its replacement.  No pictures on this computer.  It belongs to my office mate.  Hopefully, I will be back in full force tomorrow.

Appreciating the Small Things in Life

Well, I made it through my first day back at work; it was much as I had expected....a pile of paperwork in my mailbox and a long line of clients who had waited a week to talk to 'their' counselor.  My co-workers all seemed genuinely glad to see me, and all agreed that the changes I had made took ten years off my appearance.  I don't believe I had mentioned, but I'd changed my hair color from a medium blond that was giving me a washed out look to a dark blond that seems to give my face a natural glow.  I also chopped two inches of dry, brittle ends off.  That sure made me feel good.


There are things that we don't want to happen but have to accept, things we don't want to know but have to learn, and people we can't live without but have to let go.--Author Unknown


But all was not so sunny on my return.  Sadly, I learned that we lost a client last week.  Clients have passed away before, and it always hurts so deeply when you learn that someone you have worked with is gone, but almost all of the clients I have lost were those who had chosen to give up their recovery and return into the world of drugs. This man, however, was doing everything right. He had almost a year alcohol/drug free and was scheduled to speak at the graduation ceremony this Friday; after living in the shelter system for most of his adult years, he finally had obtained and was maintaining his own studio apartment; he had found a girlfriend and was so happily in love, and was actually thinking of returning to the workforce...all this after over 20 years of getting high and living on the streets. In fact, he'd done such a complete turnaround in his life that he had been approached to do a documentary on his life.  He went to sleep last Friday and never woke up.

Whenever you lose someone by death, it makes you appreciate life so much more. You begin to look at your life through a new set of eyes and see the quality of what life has to offer. It makes become more appreciative of things, of life, to become humble and not take anything for granted.  For example, sunshine is is a precious gift; it brings us a feeling of joy and warms our spirits on days when we are feeling low, but it is all too easy to not appreciate those sunny days in our lives.

This past weekend when I went out into the backyard to hang my clothes, my neighbor was mowing her lawn. I love the scent of freshly mowed grass, but do really really think about nature's miracle?  Grass in itself is a gift, a miracle. First, it grows from a tiny seed into a luscious green carpeting growth which we mow because we like it to be a certain height..Then, nature takes over and the grass once again grows to new heights, and the cycle continues, reminding us of the cycle of life. Waking up in the morning and being thankful for another day is such an awesome experience in itself for with each new day we have the ability to meet new goals and succeed in ways we have never imagined. 

Life moves too quickly. We often look up and wonder where did it all go?   The little things in life...they are so precious because we never get them back. These are the moments that we need to enjoy and appreciate....because all too soon they, too, will become distant memories.  Those flowers in your yard....take the time to smell them...breathe deeply...take it all in. Because we may never get the chance again.


While we are mourning the loss of our friend, others are rejoicing to meet him behind the veil. --John Taylor

The Gladness of Nature

Doesn’t time just seem to fly by when you’re having fun?  Yes, my vacation is over...and far too soon.  And just when I was getting used to sleeping in, I once again have to get used to that irritating ring of my alarm clock.... 

...Ironically, though, when you are seated at that dentist's office and listening to the sound of the drill, your tummy tied in knots and just wanting to 'get it over with', time appears to be crawling along.  But that is the nature of life. Some days appear to drag while other days seem to whiz right on by us in a flash....and we are left wondering where all the time all went.  

Was I feeling sad this morning when I got up?  Most definitely.  Am I letting it get me down?  Nah, doesn't do any good.  Only serves to make you miserable...a gosh knows, there are far too many miserable people in this world.  Gosh, forget I said that.  Nothing negative today going to come out of this mouth today.  In fact, I'm going to make it a point to find something positive in everything. For example, I may not like my job, but it pays my rent and puts food on the table....and, I am blessed to working while so many are not. So, today I am going to turn over a new leaf.  I am going to make it my business to spread joy in the world.  Mother Nature knows....  

Is this a time to be cloudy and sad,
When our Mother Nature laughs around;
When even the deep blue heavens look glad,
And gladness breathes from the blossoming ground? 

There are notes of joy from the hang-bird and wren,
And the gossip of swallows through all the sky;
The ground-squirrel gaily chirps by his den,
And the wilding bee hums merrily by. 

The clouds are at play in the azure space,
And their shadows at play on the bright green vale,
And here they stretch to the frolic chase,
And there they roll on the easy gale. 

There's a dance of leaves in that aspen bower,
There's a titter of winds in that beechen tree,
There's a smile on the fruit, and a smile on the flower,
And a laugh from the brook that runs to the sea. 

And look at the broad-faced sun, how he smiles
On the dewy earth that smiles in his ray,
On the leaping waters and gay young isles;
Ay, look, and he'll smile thy gloom away. 

 --William Cullen Bryant--