Revelation #: 5 I Saw A UFO

Growing up in the country, I had lots of opportunities to see strange things which city folk can only see at the movie house, and most will say they are a figment of someone's over-active imagination. But, do UFO's exist? Do your believe? Well, I can tell you from first-hand experience that they do indeed exist.

One night my friends and I (I was about 18 at the time) gathered into the car and drove up the mountainside and down a small windy road until we came to what we used to call "The Haunted Barn." We were determined that we would go inside that night and face our fears. Actually, the haunted barn wasn't really haunted; I don't even think was a barn. It was just a broken down old building that had belonged to a family who had closed up shop years before and moved to on another state. But, to a group of teenagers, it was haunted; that is what made it a special place to go.

I think it is important here, at this point, to give a brief description of the landscape so that you can fully get the full gist of the tale. The Haunted Barn was situated atop a mountainside and sat back about 30 feet from the edge of a sharp cliff. The cliff was so high and so sharp that no one could climb up it unless they were using climbing gear. At the foot of the cliff there was a cornfield and off in the distance you could see the barn and the farmhouse.

I can remember that this was a night of a New Moon for the only thing visible in the sky were a few stars. We had specifically chosen this night because we had wanted it as dark as it could possibly be. So, to get on with the story, my girlfriend and I got out of the car first. It was so, so dark. We took a few steps and saw something long and dark lying on the ground. And, it scared the heck out of us. We screamed at the top of our lungs until we realized it was nothing but an old wooden pole lying there. By, then the others left in the car were hollaring for us to get back in the car, but all we did was laugh and chide them to get out of the car. At the time, we thought that it was our original scream that scared them. They kept on hollaring for us to get in the car, and I heard the driving revving up the engine.

Suddenly, my girlfriend screamed so loudly that she momentarily deafened me and said, "Look, look at the side of the cliff." I did, and I will never forget what I saw. There was a light, and the light was slowly rising as if someone with a flashlight was climbing up the sides of it, but we knew tht wasn't happening...and besides, the light was so expansive...and much to bright...far too much light to be a flashlight. At that, I let out a scream of terror and the two of us flew back into the car. The driver put the car and gear, and we drove out of there backwards that night..all of us in a state of fright that I had never felt before or since.

Eventually, we backed out onto the main road and took off like the wind. Some of us were in tears. All of us were trembling. The last thing I remember seeing as we sped off was that the light had almost reached the top. Today, when I read about UFO's, I think about that night and wonder what would have happened if we hadn't made it off that hillside. Would I have been another inductee, another statistic? I'll never know.

Where Has All the Chivary Gone?

The other day in one of my other blogs, I posted the 12 Basic Rules of Chivalry for the Knights of the Round Table, and someone responded that it is shame that the world no longer lives by these rules...and I have been thinking about it ever since. It is so true, and our world would be such a better place if chivalry was still practice...not just chivalry but some of the little considerations for your fellow man.

I consider myself one of the lucky ones...for I was born and raised during a time when thoughtfulness and consideration for your elders was not only taught, but expected. I, too, took public transportation to school, but there ws a difference. I can still remember clearly, how if the bus was full and an adult got on...any adult, age didn't matter...just that they were older than us...one of us had to give up our seat or the bus driver would pull over to the side of the rode and stop until someone did get up. Fortunately, someone always did so we never got to see what would happen if everyone refused. And this wasn't just "a" bus driver; this was all bus drivers. This was an unwritten law in those days.

Now, we most certainly cannot expect that out of our bus drivers and train operators today so it is up to us as parents to teach our children...but sadly many do not. In one of my job, I used to have to take the "F" train to Jay Street and then pick up the "A" train to go back into another part of Brooklyn. During the school year there would be a mother there with her 5 children waiting for the train when I arrived. These children ranged from about age 8 to age 15...certainly old enough to stand if need be. But, every morning, when that train rolled in and the doors opened, that mother would scoot her 5 children in past me allowing them to run and grab whatever seats were available...one would even take up two seats so her mother would have one...and then they would all watch me stand. Awful, isn't it? But this happens so frequently. Why?

Some say it's all the different nationalities here in New York who bring with them their own different customs and ways of doing things. Hogwash, I say!!! Asian people are known for their deep consideration and reverence of the elderly. So, why are they grabbing the seats and making an old woman stand? A male friend once responded when I asked about this, "Well, you women wanted your women's lib. This is what you get." More hogwash, I say. Nowhere was it ever written in women's lib that young, healthy males would be able to just about knock down older women to grab a seat on the subway. Women's lib had to do with women's rights...and no way did it excuse males from the gentlemanly duties...And, besides, if this is our fate from women's lib, why do elderly men still have to stand, too? And what about pregnant women? At 61 years old I was the only one to give up my seat for a pregnant women even though I was surrounded by young businessmen and women.

I've heard people say that "Well, that's the way New Yorkers are." Not true. More hogwash. About 12 years ago I managed to slip 3 of my discs and was in tremendous pain. Six months it took me to heal. Well, one time I was on the subway with my cane, and there were no seats. There were three young men (I'd say in their mid-twenties) seated in front of me, and they were talking excitedly about all the things they had planned on their trip to New York. These men actually saw me wincing in pain, tears welling in my eyes it hurt so bad, but not only did none offer me a seat, but one actually had the NERVE to ask me directions to someplace.

No, this lack of chivalry doesn't start in New York; it doesn't start in some other country; women's lib didn't bring it on. Parents did. I raised my boys just as I was raised, and today they are two of the few New Yorkers who will give up there seats to someone older. Parents have to teach their children respect...respect and consideration for those who are disabled or older than them. This begins in the home...nowhere else. Instead of that mother at Jay Street teaching her children to almost knock me over to grab the seats, she should be teaching them to offer it to me. When I see something like that, or young, healthy people monopolizing the seats, that "One day you will be me, and I hope someone gives up their seat for you.' or "How do you feel when someone makes YOUR mother stand?"

Still another time I was on a crowded train, and some teenage girl had a seat and was talking to her buddies who were standing. I suffer from fibro so I am almost always in some sort of pain...so I watching this girl to see if she would get up...but, of course, she didn't until it was her stop, and as she was leaving the car and I was edging over to the seat, I heard this girl laughing "I knew that lady was gonna grab the seat when I got up. You should of seen the way she was watching me." What, my friends, was so funny about that? The last laugh was actually on her.

In closing, and sorry for the rant, I'd like to say that I have been raised so well that I still feel uncomfortable when someone gets on the train who looks up in years. And then I think to myself, "You know what? You are older than she is." That's how well it was drilled into me.

Revelation #4: The Night I Snuck to CBGB's

CBGB (Country, Blue Grass and Blues)
OMFUG (Other Music for Uplifting Gormandizers)

This was the inside of CBGB's. The walls were covered with posters.

The old days when the cars pulled up and dropped everyone off.


This is a revelation to shock you all. This little old lady was once into 'heavy metal." I first came to the Big Apple in the late 60's. The hippie era had was dwindling, but hadn't yet ended so I found myself in coffee houses and spending endless hours wandering through Washington Square Park. I'd found a little job in one of those little hippie shops that were so prominent back then. Folk music was my thing--Bob Dylan, Mama's and the Papa's, Arlo Guthrie. Oh, wow, those were the days...the days when you could walk into one of those decrepit looking coffee shops and find yourself seated six feet away from your idol. It didn't cost a bundle in those days to hobnob with the up and coming stars.

But, all good things must come to an end, and the 70's brought many changes. Folk music died out and a new music was born. The disco and its music was in, and heavy metal was on its way. I was never able to 'get with' the disco craze, seemed too tame for me. Hippies just didn't fit in there; hippies fit in with the new heavy metal craze, so on weekends this is where you find me...in some club that featured this wild, reckless music...and CBGB's was one of my absolute favorite places to go. It was a small, dank, beer soaked club where the music was loud and the lights were glaring.

But, all good thing must come to an end. I married, had my sons, and settled down into a life of motherhood, neighborhood gossip, and part-time employment. Then, when the boys finally started school, I began to work full-time...several odd jobs through the 80's and eventually ending up at the expediting agency. Now if we fast forward to the 90's, my children are grown, I've changed careers at mid-life, and I find myself working at a halfway house for recovering alcoholics. I betch you can't guess where it was....at 312 Bowery...right across the street from the infamous club.

Now, when I used to work evenings sometimes on the weekends, I would sit outdoors and watch as the cars dropped off party-goers and lines started to build at the club...and I would feel a great yearning. "If only I could just experience for one night the excitement of my youth." So, one night, on a Saturday, my relief came in at 11 pm, and I started to head for the train. But, the music blasting from the club was so overwhelming that I couldn't help myself...and the next thing you knew, I found myself in the club. I didn't stay long because once inside I realized that my day had come and gone. I just didn't fit in anymore. I was older than the rest and actually quite matronly whereas they had their purple hair and nose rings. So, I slunk on out of there and headed home.

No one knew that I went to the club that night. But I am so glad that I gave myself the opportunity to be there....just one more time. CBGB's closed its doors forever on October 15, 2006. No one can say that the club didn't have a nice long run...and ironically, today I work for the company that owns the building.

Revelation #3: How I Got to the City

Beautiful picture of the city, isn't it? Look at the beauty of the moon, the red sky in the distance. What a place to live! Within a few short blocks you can sample food from almost every nationality on the planet. You can get from the furthest outpost in the Bronx and Queens to the far end of Brooklyn without even getting into a car. It is really something special; you have to live here to know what I am talking about. So, how did a country bumpkin who didn't even know what a bagel was end up in the greatest, most exciting city in the world?

Now, I was born in a different time and place. The world was safer back then...or maybe I was just too naive to know any better. In my neck of the woods in New Jersey farm country kids went to school, married, and had their own children. Husbands worked on farms or factories. So very few went on to college that they weren't even counted. If females worked, it was as a secretary or in a factory...and that wasn't for long because you "didn't want to be an old maid."But, that wasn't what I wanted out of life. I wanted more. My parents always told me I was a rebel; I guess I proved them right.

One night a girlfriend and I were out at a party, and we began discussing what the future held for us...and neither of us were very happy, so we made our plans that night. We were going to the big city and we were going to make it. So, the next day...and despite our parents pleas...we set out with two outfits of clothing each and $200 in our pocket...and we hitchhiked to New York. Yes, we hitchhiked. We were used to it. We hitchhiked everywhere back in those days. We found ourselves a cheap hotel room in a flophouse just across from Washington Square Park...The Hotel Earle. Some famous people actually stayed there...Bob Dylan, John and Mary Phillips of the Mama's and the Papa's to name a few.

Well, my friends, that was 38 years ago, and I am still here. My friend and I parted ways years ago, and I often wonder what became of her. But, with so many young people coming here to the city to fulfill their hopes and dreams only to end up on drugs or on the streets, I was one of your success stories. I never faltered, no matter how bad it got. Here I am world!!!!

The Jack-O-Lantern

Sorry to disappoint you. I know you are all on pins and needles waiting for the next revelation. But, ya know, the old brain begins to play tricks on you when you become a 'woman of a certain age', and all of the stories that were just sitting there waiting to be told have somehow taken the day off. So, bear with this old lady. More revelations will come, but following is a little appeasement for you. (Somehow these little tales are always fondly remembered)

There was once a stingy drunkard of an Irishman...Jack was his name....and Jack is credited with tricking the Devil into climbing an apple tree. Then, Jack quickly cut the sign of a cross into the trunk knowing that the Devil would not be able to climb down. Jack made the Devil swear that he would never again come after his soul or claim it in any way....but this didn't stop Jack from dying and because of his life of drinking and being deceitful, he was not allowed in Heaven. And, because of the oath he had made the Devil take, he wasn't allowed to go to Hell either.

"But where can I go?" asked Jack.

"Go back the way you came." replied the Devil.

The way back was so dark and windy that the Devil, in a final gesture, threw a live coal at Jack...a coal that came straight from the fire of Hell. And, to light his way and keep it from blowing out in the wind, Jack put it in a turnip which he had been eating. And ever since that day, Jack and his trusty 'lantern' have been traveling all over the earth in search of a place to rest.

Information that you may or may not find helpful:

Did you know that bats always turn left when exiting a cave?
Or that Phasmophobia is a fear of ghosts?
Or that Wiccaphobia is a fear of witches?
Did you know that bats are the most important natural enemies of night-flying insects?

Revelation #2: I Really Don't Make My Pumpkin Pies

Every year my job has a big Thanksgiving Party for our clients and a private one for us workers. The staff party is usually held on the Thursday prior to Thanksgiving, and each staff member is expected to make something and bring it in....sort of like Potluck Thanksgiving. Well, my problem is that Wednesday and Thursday are my late days, and I don't get off work until 7:30 pm and home at 8:30 pm so who wants to cook then? And who wants to cook in the morning and then go to work? So, for every party I began buying those frozen pumpkin pies that are already put together, and all you have to is bake them. I get up in the morning and put two of them in the oven which gives them time to bake and cool off for me to carry them...and no one knows the difference.

The way I look at it is that I am NOT lying. I don't tell them I made the pies, just let them assume. And when someone tells me it tastes good, I say a simple "Thank you."

Revelation #1: How I Passed Math

First, before everyone starts wondering why a 55 year old woman has to pass math, I figured I would offer a little background. For many years I had a fairly good position with an expediting agency. We got passports, visas, car registration, etc. for stars and other rich people who either didn't want to go themselves or couldn't go themselves. Some of our customers were Ralph Lauren, James Taylor, Donald Trump, Wall Street execs...so you get the picture. For awhile it was a really exciting job to me, and I loved meeting all these people. But one day, things started to change for me, and it wasn't exciting and fun anymore. As a matter of fact, I was just pretty darned unhappy. My life was lacking something. I realized that I had always wanted to help people...in high school I either wanted to be a lawyer or a psychiatrist...but things never seemed to work out as I had planned. I was kidding myself into believing that I was in a 'helping profession' because the people I was working with weren't 'needy', they, in fact, felt as if they were 'entitled'. A big difference and please, don't get me wrong. I am not demeaning any of them in any way. That wasn't my intention. I've worked with some really, really super people and wouldn't trade the experience for anything...but it was time to move on.

Well, as I soon discovered it is not that easy to move on...especially when you are in your late 40's and only armed with a GED. I knew I had to return to school, so I took an entry level position in an agency that worked with mentally ill clients while I went to evening classes to become a substance abuse counselor. Then, once I completed the required course hours, I moved onto another entry level position in a halfway house for recovering alcoholics. The company I worked for also had a parole program, and I was hoping for an opportunity. If you look back at my high school goals, in a way, I would be fulfilling both of them.

I decided that it was time to go back to school for a degree. I chose to get a bachelor's in criminal justice since I wanted to work with parole. But by now, there was no way I was going to sit in a classroom for this degree so I got my credits from correspondence courses and exams. I enrolled in Excellsior College which is an accredited college in New York State, totally off-campass. You amassed your credits and they, in turn, transformed them into a degree. It was the cheapest way, and I tend to learn more when I have to do for myself.

There was one problem, though. I was still expected to fulfill the core requirements of a degree...and that, my friends, included math. Now, may I say that I am 62 years old and went to high school in a small town where all you had to know was adding, subtracting, dividing, and multiplying...none of this other stuff like algebra, trig, geometry, and logic. Personally, I don't see much sense in all that unless someone wants to go on to science or something. I wouldn't think of using algebra to balance my checkbook. So, what was I to do? Without math, I wouldn't get my degree. I was working full-time and wasn't about to enroll in college for one course which would cost me over $1,000. So, how did I manage to pass.

I enrolled in a correspondence class on basic math which included all of the above and was detailed enough to fulfill my credit requirement. Then, I went online surfing until I found a great math homework help site. I just couldn't seem to get even the way to set up the problems so I would write the problem into this math support group, and some kind soul would help me to set up the problem. Once in awhile someone went all the way and gave me the answer, but that was never my intention because I could figure the problem myself once I learned how to set it up. That was all I wanted. Show be how to do it, and I will do it.

One night, one of the group members yelled at me and said, "I know you want us to do your homework, but that's not what this group is for. Start doing your own homework." Well, everyone else there jumped to my aid. She HAD been rather fresh. To make a long story short, I passed with a 'C'. Not the greatest grade, but I passed with that groups help, something that I will be forever grateful for. I never told them I was old enough to be their grandma. They always thought I was one of them. And

it surely felt good to be a teenager for awhile.