As I started to picture the trees in the storm, the answer began
to dawn on me. The trees in the storm don't try to stand up
straight and tall and erect. They allow themselves to bend and
be blown with the wind. They understand the power of letting
go. Those trees and those branches that try too hard to stand
up strong and straight are the ones that break. Now is not the
time for you to be strong, Julia, or you, too, will break.
Julia Butterfly Hill
Helping me with the Christmas decorations.
Tonight will be one week since my beloved little angel passed, and it still hurts so bad. It is an emotional pain and loss that I don't ever remember feeling. I've had many pets in my nearly 68 years but the bond between me and Miss Minga is something else. I'm totally lost without her. Mornings are intolerable. I still find myself waiting for her to come to greet me when I enter the room. Yesterday I was at the computer, and as I turned to the right to get up from my chair and head for the bathroom, I found myself stepping over a pillow that is no longer there. I put it there so she wouldn't have to lie on the wood floor when she lay next to me.
Staying home has not been helpful in my efforts to heal. but the weather hasn't been conducive. I did get out to church on Sunday, but before I even got home the snow was beginning to fall. Yesterday it had stopped, but the slush on the sidewalks made it too slippery to think about going anyplace. Today I plan on going to art class. Getting out and around others is what I need.
I participated in the Petloss.com candle ceremony last night. The healing energy that stems from hundreds of people from around the world lighting candles and saying prayers at the same time is amazing. Tonight my sons will finally be able to get here for our private memorial and dinner.
I am considering other ways of honoring my baby girl such as volunteering at a shelter, donating to a shelter, and adding a plant to my window garden. Any suggestions would be appreciated. I HAVE to do something. I can't just sit here and do nothing.
Well, friends, that's about it for today. Sorry for the sad posts. It helps me to write about what I am feeling. Please don't get bored with me.
Have a good one.
I think volunteering is a wonderful idea. Take your time to grieve. *hugs*
ReplyDeleteGoing to art class is a great idea.
ReplyDeleteIt's so heartbreaking to deal with this kind of loss, Mary. Of course it hurts. But I'm glad youl'll be going out, and I'm glad you participated in the candle lighting. There are so many in the world who understand this loss. Prayer together will help you start to heal. And I really believe that soon, Miss Minga will visit you in your dreams to let you know she is well and safe! Big hug, Mary.
ReplyDeleteNot bored at all, Mary. Just feeling your pain and wishing there were magic words to help. Hope the art class is fun!
ReplyDeletePerhaps growing some catnip in your window would be fitting. It's said to be a women's herb and it is very good for relaxation when taken in tea, or in dream pillows. It doesn't smell so wonderful when fresh, but as long as you don't pet it, it's fine. Plus, it's pretty when it flowers.
ReplyDeleteSending hugs and heart-healing thoughts. xoxo